


Unlikely but most agreeable

by Gadeshua (KerryLamb), KerryLamb



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: AOS Sarek personality and demeanor, Age Gap Love, Awkward Crush, Awkward Romance, Divorce, F/M, Falling In Love, Heartbreak, Love Triangles, New Vulcan, Nyota/Sarek, Sarek/Nyota, Sarek/Uhura, Some Fluff, Supreme Angst, TOS Sarek looks, Uhura/Sarek, Unexpected Crush, Vulcan Bond, Vulcan Culture, Vulcans, alternative title of how Sarek and Nyota got their groove back, an attempted plot, gray romance, horrible with tags, no one is wrong but no one is right, setbacks, some smut, unprofessional romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-01-07 23:42:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21226187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryLamb/pseuds/Gadeshua, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryLamb/pseuds/KerryLamb
Summary: With their planet lost and the Vulcan population near decimation, each and every life is considered precious. Spock's people lost so much on that day but their time of mating, Pon Farr, still haunts them. He feels the call of it now but the fever is not his but that of his former bondmate T'Pring. Stonn was lost to her in the destruction of Vulcan and the bond between them however dim still remains. Without Spock she will die, if Nyota intervenes she could possibly die in a call for Kal'i'fee.But that's the thing. Nyota doesn't want to fight T'Pring. She doesn't want to choose between being cuckolded or a murder so she lets Spock decide. His decision crushes her even more than the news that he had been and still was bonded to another. She questions how much she knew him and the love between them. Sarek notes the logic of his son but sees the wake of his actions. However noble his 'sacrifice' is, Nyota's is tenfold. So when she asks for help in a temporary relocation, Sarek is more than agreeable to extend her aid. Neither he or Nyota could predict the unlikely romance between them but can their budding attraction survive his career, their difference and Spock?





	1. Indecision and Settling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yalegirl03](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yalegirl03/gifts).

> For Blkaryaa. Two years have come and gone and I'm finally almost finish with this. Your patience and friendship are most appreciated.

Nyota stood in the aisle, staring back at the paltry selection of Terran food the small market had to offer. It was cheerfully labeled the ‘Inter-quadrant food kiosk’. More like a sampler of disappointment she thought ruefully. 

Everything from chocolate bars to instant soups were shelved neatly underneath the banner, with all the due diligence that any Vulcan would give when stocking inventory. Each candy was packaged in a brightly dressed wrapper that gave a hunger-inducing crinkle when picked up and handled. Neither attribute caught Nyota’s wan attention. 

Fact was that she didn’t want to be here but she had to eat something. This convenience market was the best she could muster given her willpower reserves.

She shifted restlessly from one foot to the other, her flip-flops giving a sticky smack as they peeled away from the linoleum. The desire to leave mounted as she reviewed the offerings. 

_ I can’t do this right now. Just grab something. Anything. I can’t. I hate this. _

Nyota exhaled heavily through her nose, angry.  _ Was this really it? She had to get off this God-forsaken planet. _

She bit her lip and shuffled through the sad assortment of potato chips with half-hearted determination. The simple task of finding something to snack on was turning into a near quarter-life crisis.

Her focus threatened to slip back to that painful jaggedness, but she warded it off by digging her nails into the palm of her other hand.  _ Just get your junk food and go. Then you can go back to that apartment and eat your feelings in peace. _

A wrinkled bag of vegetable straws fell loudly to the floor and stirred her into action. Bending carefully in her shorts, she picked them up tried to summon her hunger once more. It wasn’t working. None of it was.

Nyota glanced over the CG graphics of the label and flipped it over to the nutritional facts. Not that she really cared but it was more so out of habit. After she caught herself ruminating over the potato/vegetable ratio, she put the crisps back with a groan. For  _ God’s sake, just get some flipping food already, girl...it’s been like ten minutes! Get it together Nyota. _

A lanky looking youth came around from the far corner and waited for her to turn and acknowledge him. When she did, she caught sight of his uniform robe of yellow and lack of a name tag. That latter thing took some getting used to. Patience wearing thin had her speaking first. “ Yes, can I help you?”

If he was impressed by her command of Vulcan he didn’t show it. Most Vulcans she encountered stopped to inquire about it. Some humans spoke it but very few ever showed mastery in it. 

He bobbed his head and straightened up, eyeing the bag in her hand. “Are you in need of assistance?” he asked casually. 

Nyota shook her head and fought against the smile that was rising to her mouth. “ No, no. I’m good, thank you. Still browsing.”

He nodded again and tilted his head to the side.  _ Just like Spock _ .” If you are ever in need of my assistance, please, alert me at once.”

She nodded back sarcastically and saluted him. “ Can do. Thanks.”

She immediately regretted the action as the attendant puzzled over her cynicism. She just wanted to eat, but of course nothing that was available appealed to her. She could have been gone fifteen minutes ago but the thought of just buying something for the sake of doing so, without truly wanting the item, irked her. 

She picked up the nebula bar for the fourth time and reread the label, hoping fruitlessly that any of the ingredients listed would pique her interest.

She huffed a curse and stuffed the chocolate back on shelf. What was she even doing here? Nyota hung her head and held onto shelf’s siding before summoning up the energy to drag herself away. One after another, she placed every snack her hand landed on into her basket. She stopped at seventeen and surveyed the bounty. “That should be enough.”

Seeing the cashier’s perplexed face as she put down her basket for purchase made Nyota never want to show her face around here again. It was hard to justify buying eleven candy bars and have the rest of her purchase consist of chips, but then again she wasn’t here to justify herself. Not with him, not with herself, not with anybody. Spock, in all his righteous glory, saw an end to that. She was done with having to compete with his sense of duty, done with it hurting her and assuring him that things were okay. She loved him but that... when... T’Pring.

A sharp pang buckled down her sternum and Nyota gasped with a fitfully exhalation. She was getting wound up again. She couldn’t do this here; not with an audience. 

Sucking in her bottom lip, she maneuvered the basket closer to the young cashier and pushed down on the sense of grief. She wasn’t going to pity herself but she was going to have one helluva self-care party.  _ Guest list: Me, myself and I,  _ she thought glumly, eyeing the wall of items back behind the clerk. 

Her gaze came to rest on a slender, blue bottle of Betazed bourbon. She had never had any before; most of the crew drank Terran liquor with the exception of Saurian Brandy and the illegal (but ever present) Romulan ale. The longer she looked, the more appealing it seemed to wash down her junk food hoard with a little bit of alcohol. 

The clerk was nearly done ringing her up when she cleared her throat and licked nervously at her lips. “Excuse me. Could I have the blue bottle of bourbon there…? Yes, right there... exactly. Thank you.”

The clerk nodded and bagged it along with the rest of her ‘groceries’ and gestured to the payment pad. “ Your signature please. We take DNA ID as well as optical.”

Nyota scrunched her face into a twisted frown at the listed choices and pointed towards the paltry looking thumbprint. “Do you still take fingerprints? I did that last time I came here.”

For a moment the clerk looked as if he wished to sway her away from the outdated system but agreed a moment later and slid the boxy pad forward. A payment was a payment, no matter its form and she knows he must have gone through the logic of arguing about it. He was Vulcan after all. Vulcan. Every time she looked at one she was reminded of what she lost.

And what she hated.

Her mouth soured again as she accepted her bag after pressing her thumb to the tacky screen. Walking from the store back into the dry heat of Shi’kahr, Nyota plodded towards her hotel room and tried hard not to think about Spock. It was hard given what she knew Spock was doing, harder still because it wasn’t behind her back.

She shouldn’t resent him for it but she did. She was only human.


	2. Nightmares are based on real fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betazed liqour might be the last thing Nyota needs when dealing with their break up. Everyone knows that Betazed foods bring all one's emotions to the surface no matter how hard you try and suppress them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nyota's in a bad way and no one on New Vulcan knows it. Well maybe one person knows it.

Spock is seated in the Captain’s chair. An authoritative gold tunic dresses his torso in place of his dark blues. Nyota doesn’t question it because somehow she knows not to.

_ A dream...she was dreaming... _

So Nyota also doesn’t question why they’re in the bowels of an active volcano, though she protests it. It was, however, rather fitting giving the state she’s in. Turbulent and chaotic were just a couple of words she could use to describe the state of her mind and heart.

Spock orders the crew to continue on the mission even as the ship’s hull starts to pop and hiss from the heat. Nyota tries again and again to warn him away from the danger, but he only acknowledges her statements.

Kirk dons operation reds and a face of resignation as she pleads with him to order Spock to stand down. 

“Can’t. Spock has the com on this one. I’m just following protocol.”

“Just followin - when the hell did you ever just follow protocol, Captain?! We’re going to be burned alive!”

“Not Captain,” he corrects her, holding up his sleeve to his face with his rank ringed around it. “Lieutenant. It’s up to you, Commander, to get the Captain to change course.”

Nyota looks from Jim to her clothing in shock. A science blue work shift to that of Kirk’s ruby tunic. To hell with it then. She balls her fist and marches up to the Captain’s chair and puts the all the bass she can muster into her voice. “Stand down, Sir.”

“I will not.” Spock doesn’t even spare a glance in her direction. The nerve.

“You are medically unfit for duty.” she replies, grasping at any sound reason she can think of. I mean dream or not they were in a volcano, one that strangely reminded her of the one he found himself stuck in not too many years ago. He had reckoned himself unto death and had railed at Jim afterwards for saving him. Protocol this and prime directive that. She should have let it all go then but she hadn’t. She loved him, still loves him.

Spock stares ahead, cool and collected. Ignoring her.“You are not qualified to give such an opinion.”

Nyota turns to the viewscreen and watches as they near the molten rock bubbling down below. “Spock, stop it, we’re not going to make it!”

“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, Commander. Mr.Chekov, hold our course. Mr. Sulu, engage impulse engines and take us down to the core.”

Nyota watches in horror as the helmsman and cartographer call back with an “aye aye, Captain” and move down the main conduit to do just that. The air goes hazy with heat while the pipes within the hull wheeze as the gases they hold expand and threaten to burst at their joints. 

Sweat trickles down her face and back as she runs in front of Spock and points towards the scene before them. “Spock! Save us! We’re not going to make it!”

He stares ahead with his fingers steepled, with the magma reflecting its orange glow in his eyes. “I have my orders, Commander. I won’t be remiss in seeing them through.”

The ship groans and begins to buckle under the heat and port holes along the lower decks have begun to melt and drip away. Even now the view screen imaging has begun to warp into a running mess as the LCDs fuse together. “Does it matter, at all, that I love you?” she asks.

It’s a desperate move, due in no small part to their impending doom, but a part of her heart lurches in fear of the answer. Does her love matter to him? Does  _ she _ matter?

With morbid recall, the memory of their arrival to New Vulcan takes over the volcano dream in startling detail. 

Spock standing in the corner with his jaw tight and his posture stiff as a rod. Nyota questions him again over T’Pring’s condition and he replies in the same deadpan voice he’s been giving her since they’ve arrived. 

Grave. Critical. Only one treatment. Mating. Their childhood bond. It’s still intact. Intercourse would not be emotionally intimate exchange for him if he were to engage her now. The bond between themselves would have to be removed less T’Pring challenge her to Kali-fee or shun Spock’s advances to save her life. She will die without treatment. She will die without Spock.

His demeanor over the past few days makes sense now. T’Pring’s growing distress has been filtering over to Spock as her fever lingered over her mind. It was their bond’s way of calling him home to her. The Enterprise had to made it to New Vulcan but Spock hasn’t wanted to say the reason why. 

In all honesty, the Commander doesn’t really know what he would be walking into. Every Vulcan life is precious with so few of them left, but none more than a female with the potential for creating new life. How could he say no now when the only other choice is to let her die? 

Questions about transparency and betrayal fly between them. But there’s no time for that, T’Pring is dying and a decision must be made. Flowing from one passionate debate into the next, Spock and Nyota continue their uncomfortable exchange. 

Yes, he and T’Pring had forsaken one another, and  _ true _ , each had moved on but things have changed. Vulcans have changed because their chances and circumstances have changed.

Stonn is lost to her along with Vulcan. In the past it might not have come to this, but with no one else to take her on, T’Pring’s prognosis only grows worse. 

He’s not saying he will leave but he’s looking for her to acceptance. Her acceptance? Her acceptance that he’s going to fuck someone else for days on end? That he might father a child with this female, of which, he had never told Nyota about? 

He’s telling her the reasons behind his actions as if every word doesn’t stab her. Nyota’s calm for a long while before she finally snapped.

“Spock, no! No! NO, Shut up! Just shut up! Just shut the fuck up and stop  _ logic-splaining  _ things to me that aren’t god damn logical!” 

  
Spock shut his mouth and furrowed his brow in that way she knew to be in frustration. “Nyota, I do not enjoy the circumstances we are currently facing, but what would you recommend I do if you were in my place? Some other solution that my  _ logic-splaining _ , as you put it, hasn’t seen as a favorable option?”

Nyota covered her face and exhaled with an ironic laugh. “Spock,  _ I’m _ not going to tell you what to do. I’m not saying let her die and I’m not going to tell you I’m okay with you leaving…”

The burning in her throat cut off the rest of her words as Nyota struggled to keep herself composed. 

As much as she contemplated the possibilities of their relationship ending, she hadn’t thought of this scenario because why would she have? Even in the midst of her crazed dreams about him leaving her for another’s - what was it again… pon farr? He hadn’t even told her about that! When was he planning on telling her? Only after he had subjected her to days of lok on end?

Nyota cupped her face and sighed between her palms. She had never really thought it would be over between them. And that he still had a bond with his childhood mate, a childhood mate she hadn’t known about...burned her.

He swore he didn’t know that the link was still intact and Nyota believed him, if only for the heartfelt conviction that flowed between them. Still, the knowledge of it made her feel sordid. Their relationship had been built unknowingly atop of another and it made her feel as if Spock had never truly been hers. An unknowing adulteress.

The horrible memory of them in their shared cabin faded and was replaced again with the fretful crux of her volcanic nightmare. 

Spock sits back in the command chair and looks past her as he orders the ship further down into the volcano's lava filled cavern. Nyota stands in front of him, sweating as she tries her best to draw his attention.

“Commander,” he says finally acknowledging her. “Your actions, unlike my own, are uninhibited. You are free to stay - or to go.”

Nyota balls her fists tearfully and watches as the crew surrounding them abandon the bridge in favor of escape pods. 

Her anger dulls down and her pain settles in. This is it. They are done. She looks down at her boots as the floor beneath them starts to melt and swallow them. 

She was at a loss to say what hurt more: Spock’s unintentional betrayal or that their relationship was always going to be over. 

Her vision blurs from tears as she stares at him. Just as quickly the wavering heat dries them. She closed her eyes to everything around her and shook from the emotion rolling inside of her. Her skin felt cold with fire and everything within her burned. “Spock…”

Nyota jolted up on the couch and promptly vomited into her lap in a noisy splash. Her face twisted in disgust before another heave overtook her. 

She sat there, lurching violently until her gut subsided in purging itself of the alien bourbon. In the background, the hotel’s wall-mounted comm continued to drone on about the day’s events, indifferent to her self-inflicted plight. Nyota rose from the loveseat after the last burning gag and slowly made her way to the bathroom. 

As she waddled over to the shower with her arms outstretched, the emotions she had been caging started to escape. One hiccuping sob rang out followed closely by another as she peeled away her soiled clothing and piled them onto the floor. The ache in her chest expanded up and into her neck, burning at her throat along with the remnants of her stomach acid. 

Alone and at her wit’s end, Nyota let the emotions come to her.

She was ashamed. This wasn’t the first or even the third break up she had been through, but the aftermath was definitely the most embarrassing. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t the girl who ate ice cream and watched rom holovids as she cried into the bowl. She wasn’t the barfly who drank away her sorrows in a sea of alcohol and people.

Placing her clothing into the refresher, Nyota slammed the panel shut and walked over to smack the controls of the sonic shower with a fierce frown. Anger was also an emotion she tried to deny. Life wasn’t fair and yet this seemed especially cruel. How could she tell Spock not to lie down with T’Pring if it meant her life? 

Nyota felt his loathing of having to do it but she also felt his resolve. There was no winwin here, logic and biology clearly had rights to this battle. The casualty list was high though, her heart being chief among them. As much as she could say it was like a breakup, what had taken place was a divorce. From the moment that Spock’s mind touched hers and took up lodging within her, they had become one. 

It wasn’t tactile or visible but no less real or valid. She and he had been one and after six tumultuous years, she had to choose between either being cuckolded or a murderer.


	3. A paltry show of empathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Vulcan doesn't have many healers left and none that Spock can find that have experience with a human mind. For her safety, Sarek intervenes and performs the breaking of a marriage bond, himself. He is no more prepared for it than Nyota but he is also no less moved by it. For the first time in their acquaintance, Sarek sees her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before the first two chapters but makes for a smoother transition for the next one.

Sarek stepped across the room to where Nyota was seated and took the chair next to her. Still dressed in her uniform, she was a picture of decorum. 

Her long hair was neatly held in place, her ears elegant with gemstones. She could have been a model with her looks but even with what little he knew of her, Sarek did not think she had the patience for such a profession.

She was bright, that much was clear to anyone. Being able to do certain acts wasn’t enough; there was a will to master them and see them to their limits. Ms. Uhura was chief officer of her department much just as his son was and like him, she had made history in the short span of her career. 

He could go on at length about her graces but there was a time and place for everything. Today unfortunately was not one of them. Her face was downcast but Sarek couldn’t help thinking that something more was going on behind it. What was she thinking?

She blinked up suddenly as if remembering herself and caught sight of him beside her. Her expression took on a more neutral tone though her eyes remained bright with water. “You ready?”

“I am,” he nodded, moving his hand along his lap. “I will begin the process whenever you are ready to proceed.”

She inhaled slowly and expelled it with a short huff through her nose. She shuffled in her chair, disturbing the air with the noisy squeak of fabric against the plastic cushion and nodded. “Ready.”

He lifted his hand and slowly made his way towards her face when the steely facade Nyota affected faltered and he was left with the sight of water silently making its way down her cheek. “Will it hurt?”

Sarek paused and considered her words as he gazed at the teardrops shaking beneath her chin. He was conditioned to the emoting nature of humans and the expressions they gave. Ms. Uhura, however, shook him at that moment in her alienness. He had seen sadness but never quite like this. 

Sarek had never been privy to a human losing his or her bondmate but he believed what he saw to be heartbreak. So moving was Uhura in her conviction that Sarek found himself more than mildly distressed. He swallowed at the ache in his throat and thought of how best to answer her question. “Not as you may think, Lieutenant. I will be as gentle and swift as safety allows.”

She nodded unevenly and clasped her hands on her lap. With a shuddering breath and a straightening of her posture, she sat up neatly and waited on his hand. “Alright then. I’m ready.”

Sarek watched Nyota closely and noted her body trembling ever so slightly. “Lieutenant, if you are amenable, I would have you keep your eyes open.”

She complied readily and locked her gaze onto him. “Yes.”

“I will not harm you,” he assured her again. Seeing her belief in his word helped steady his hand and his nerves. Normally cool and composed, Sarek felt anxiety over melding with the Lieutenant chip at his mettle.

Such a thing was not done between them, but Vulcan social norms had shifted to accommodate the current population. One did what one could and performed their work for the good of their people. 

What was typically the work of healers now rested on the shoulders of family elders because there simply weren’t enough.  A bond removal by an inexperienced elder could potentially put another Vulcan at risk, but Sarek could perform it simply enough.

He also had an extensive history of melding with humans... or  _ a _ human. 

Sarek cast the thought aside as quickly as it came to him. He would need all of his mind on Ms. Uhura to ensure her welfare. He could wrestle his thoughts later in the privacy of his home. After touching her face he was sure he would need to.

The softness of her cheek as it cushioned the pads of his fingers had been an unexpected shock. He had taken care to shield themselves from each other emotionally but as for physical touch, Sarek had not thought that he would be so affected.

In truth he had never once touched Ms.Uhura, even to shake hands. Moral decorum aside, there had never been a reason to do so. Moving his hand over her face as he was now felt overly familiar. He had seen her face often and remembered seeing the tortured cast it had had on the day he lost his wife and his world. On this fretful day, however, he learned the way it felt. 

Smooth, cool, and incredibly soft, the sensation of her skin inspired both the urge to caress and recoil from it. Nyota inhaled quietly and bit her lip as his hand came to rest on her, but otherwise continued to hold his gaze. 

Sarek tilted his wrist to gain a better angle and began the meld on the next breath. The contact of her mind as he murmured between them sincerely disquieted his focus and he fought his hand not to waver.

Sarek narrowed his eyes against the maelstrom within her and slowly pressed forward. Finding where the bond was housed was a simple venture, as he knew what to look for. Ignoring the memories imbued within as he disassembled the link was another matter. 

He swallowed at the rising tide of emotions that followed therein, rebuffing them as he nicked at the energy holding her and Spock together. As much as he could, Sarek averted his attention from the visions that came into view but they still played vibrantly in the line of his periphery.

Their first date, well away from campus, their third to Spock’s great surprise, their first meld folding into their first kiss. The memories that follow are even more intimate in nature though only a third of them are physical. Seemingly out of the statistical possibility of chance, the two had met and even more coincidental the had been a well matched pair. 

But here was where their bond would end, not out of an ill-suited match but from odds steadily stacking against them. At the thought of their end, Sarek saw Uhura’s lip tremble with a stuttering intake of air. The review and epiphany grieved her and he would not be party to having the young lieutenant even more distressed than she already was.

Readjusting his fingers, Sarek softened the look of his gaze and spoke to her gently. “I am nearly done. Bear with me.”

He watched as she nodded valiantly at his declaration, courageous only in the sense that her face did not reflect the full extent of what he knew she felt. Sarek ground his teeth together and pushed past the vivid vignettes of the life his son and this woman had once lived, even as Nyota’s eyes began to water with the threat of tears. 

A need to end her discomfort sped his effort and had the elder going more quickly than he would have otherwise. It was around her recollection of the reconstruction of the Enterprise when Sarek felt his energy slice through the last fibrous link of the bond. What was once tight knit had snapped into nothingness.

Nyota gasped aloud and closed her eyes with a shudder before crumpling forward onto her lap. The rest of the room fell silent as she lay there unmoving and for all they could sense, unconscious. 

Alarmed, Sarek fully withdrew his hand and leaned towards her. “ Ms. Uhura? Ms. Uhura, are you well?”

The hair that she had fashioned to hang loose in the back somewhat obscured what he could see but he held back from brushing the strands away with his fingers. Water beaded along the fringe of her lashes and her mouth was pursed so tightly that it grew pink around the seams. “ Ms.Uhura? Please answer me. Are you well?”

Sarek searched what he could see of her face for cues as to her welfare but was left wanting. He had been quick but he was careful as well. Had he harmed her? Again Sarek repressed another urge to touch her, this time to place his hand on her trembling shoulder and instead watched her unclenching her fists against her legs. 

“ So alone…”

Sarek tilted his head to the side with a hint of a frown and blinked at her frightfully pale face. “ I beg your pardon. I do not believe I heard you clearly. Did you-”

She held up a hand for silence and Sarek hesitantly obeyed. He would hold his concerns for the time being until or if she were unable to appease them. As it was, he had never retrieved his comm from the pocket of his sleeve to call for a healer. 

The lieutenant twisted her nose with a sniff, unsuccessfully pulling at the water trickling down from it and spoke in a voice that was halfway between a rasp and a croak. “ I don’t know what I was expecting but it’s - I’m sorry. Give me a moment.”

She went quiet then, almost folding in on herself in her stillness. Separated as they were, Sarek could only postulate the state of her mind but something about her posture translated to something familiar. 

Uhura had uttered the statement ‘so alone’. She was hugging herself, rubbing at her arms as if to gain some sort of feeling in them. He had not done these things before but he had been plagued by the same burden of pining as he was witnessing now.

A time and a place where  _ he _ had been alone in his mind, where there had once been his other...a disturbing emptiness now filled the void. A space where  _ she _ had once been. 

Sarek took a breath and tamped down the rising wave of his own grief in the face of Uhura’s. It was wrong of him to project and even more illogical to think that the two of them were kindred in certain respects. Her experience was not his own.

Midway in his musing, Nyota reopened her eyes and bit her lip. She looked to be in pain and as illogical as it was Sarek found himself apologizing for the service. “ I am sorry for any discomfort I may have caused you.”

She met his eyes then, biting her lip so hard that he was concerned that her teeth might cut through the thin, ruddy skin. Thankfully she released it and gave a jagged shake of her head. “ It’s not your fault. It’s not anybody’s fault.”

Sarek felt the strong emotion of confusion threaten to tilt the cant of his eyebrows but by then Uhura had taken to her feet and swept away any evidence of her grief with the back of her hand. “If you would excuse me….,I can’t stay here…”

She didn’t say why or where she was going and he didn’t ask her. It was Vulcan to grieve together but grief was not logical. Grief never took the same shape for anyone and it would mutate at will and without warning in its owner. In his unwarranted opinion, Ms.Uhura had well earned the right to mourn her loss in peace and without the presence of another to color it differently.

Sarek watched her walk through the hospital suite’s door and felt somewhat conflicted over their exchange. He wanted to tell her things he knew might have a chance of comforting a human such as herself; such sentiments as ‘ _ I am sorry for your unfortunate circumstances’ _ or a more traditionally Vulcan expression like ‘ _ I grieve with thee. _ ’. 

He kept his sympathy to himself though. Other than being illogical, saying such trivial words were a paltry show of empathy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is everyone feeling so far? Any thoughts on any of the characters?


	4. more than acceptable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarek receives an unexpected comm call and with it a new challenge.

The embassy was bustling as usual, full of quiet conversations and off world visitors slowly navigating the massive, duplicate hallways. It was not uncommon to find some lost being, peeking in through the doorway of his office, trying to find the residency department or sheepishly asking where to file for work visas. 

Sarek was never bothered by the interruptions, in fact, he looked forward to them. Service has always been a large motivating factor for what drove him. While mathematics had its merits and the medical disciplines always looked for eager, bright minds, something about diplomacy felt natural. Firstly there was rarely ever blood involved and you weren’t left checking your work over week’s long equations. 

Helping other resolve long standing issues was not only a noble pursuit but a logical one. Peace born in the face of war and violence was a beautiful creation. One to be savored and replicated as far as he was concerned.

He was thinking of this very matter when he received her call. He felt both eyebrows rise in pleasant surprise at her name flashing across the comm screen. He tapped the receiver with a single finger and sat back in his chair.

“ Lieutenant Uhura.”

His infliction on her name gave a slight hint of his surprise. In all his time of their acquaintance, his son’s bondmate had never called him. He had no solid facts on which to speculate why she should be calling him now. 

Whatever the reason, it’s a pleasant coincidence nonetheless. He had not heard from her since he had last seen her at the New Ara’Kahr hospital. She looked prim as ever but the radiance she typically exudes had waned with the dark crescents under her eyes. “ Ambassador. Hello. Thank you for taking my call.”

“I am merely fulfilling my appointment. Nevertheless, it is more agreeable to exercise when certain persons are involved.”

Uhura smiled warmly and he felt his assessment of her appearance shift. She was radiant still, becomingly so. It was her verve that was absent. He could not fault her. Adjusting to life after being bonded had been disconcerting for him as well. “How can I assist you?”

She straightened her shoulders then, composing herself into a more professional figure. “ Yes. As you might know, the Enterprise is returning to New Vulcan to retrieve the last of her crew from shore leave.”

He nodded and steepled his fingers on top of his desk. “ I am aware, yes.”

“ I won’t be joining them.” she said firmly.

It was his turn to straighten his posture and keep his voice neutral. “ I see. Are you particularly taken with our weather here on New Vulcan or are you looking for a brief sabbatical from your duties to Starfleet?”

His poor humor actually gained the response he was hoping to receive as the woman on the other line of the comm chuckled and shook her head. “ I’m afraid it’s the latter. As...nice as you may believe the weather to be, it’s not California or Nairobi, Mr. Ambassador.”

“ I will be sure to include that disclaimer within our tourism brochure.” he countered with smiling eyes. That time he got a full, honest laugh out of her and he took a small measure of pride in having been able to make her do so. “ Humor aside, Ms. Uhura, you wish to discuss a favor?”

Again she nodded at him and his eyes flickered over towards the movement of her ponytail behind her. “ Yes, Mr. Ambassador. I plan on staying here on New Vulcan and working. I wanted to ask if you knew of anyone with an opportunity for me to do so. Some sort of job or career path that will keep me busy as I’m used to being and improve my Vulcan.”

“ Your Vulcan is quite acceptable for a human.” he offered. Compared to most humans, she was near native in her speech, almost as skilled as his Amanda...was. Sarek coughed softly to relieve the sudden tightness in his throat.

Her eyebrows pitched up, a telling expression of offense, before they fell back into place. “ I would like for it to be more than acceptable, Mr. Ambassador.”

A small curl made its way to the corners of his mouth in spite of himself as he gave her an amused nod of agreement. “ A most logical attitude where improvement can be made.”

He reached over on his desk and keyed up the Embassy's resource roster and tapped his finger along the screen under positions. Lt. Uhura waited patiently as he did so, watching as he queued up a sub-screen with a soft but determined stare.

“ I have a job in mind that may aid you in your effort to improve your Vulcan and as you said ‘ keep you busy’.” he said, still glancing at the screen. “ I have not been present over the course of your work and have a list of questions I wish for you to answer.”

“ Are there any other reasons you wish to suspend your assignment aboard the Enterprise, Ms.Uhura?”

Her eyes flashed then with a quick surge of emotion which he could not read. It seemed that time around his son had given her quite illegible face when wanted. “ None I wish to divulge at this time. Rest assure, ambassador, I will be fully capable and committed to any job.” 

At her gracious but thorough dismissal of his query, Sarek found himself lifting his brow again. Ms. Uhura was almost as spirited as Michael. Then again both human women had been subjected to long periods of Spock’s presence. One would have to have a willful constitution to not only tolerate but enjoy his youngest son’s...temperament. 

Spock may have taken after his mother in looks but he certainly took after Sarek in character. Some would say forthright but there were many others that used more colorful language when describing them. 

Sarek smoothed his expression and continued on. “ So we shall see. I was told that you had an extensive knowledge of federation languages.”

“ Yes, sir. I am near native when it comes to fluency in seventy six language, meaning I know the primary language of the majorities as well as their subsect dialects. While on tour I’ve picked up twenty three others that I am working to perfect.”

_ Well, that was impressive _ . Perhaps she had an inkling of what he thought because a smug look of satisfaction spread over her face. He could hardly begrudge her. In all his years as a diplomat, Sarek’s language proficiency had never grown past thirty eight. 

It was not a requirement of his station and his staff attended to such matters. None of them seemed quite as driven as the lieutenant and her unique field experience would certainly help matters.

“ Of those languages that you mentioned near-native fluency, how many have you done live interpretation.”

“ All of them, sir.”

That settled things.

Sarek leaned back in his chair and gave her a measured look. “ How soon were you looking to begin?”

Her face brightened further and swayed forward towards the screen. “ As soon as possible.”

Sarek smiled, somehow predicting her answer and tilted his head. “ Then I shall see you first thing tomorrow morning. Details of your position will be sent to you and I trust that you will not find any of them too strenuous.”

The face peering back at him had been stunned silent. She quickly recovered, clearing her throat and straightening her shoulders back. “ Thank you, Ambassador.”

“ I am the one that is thankful. Finding such an enthusiastic and experienced translator is quite difficult. Until the morning, live long and prosper.”

And for the first time since he had last seen her happily paired with his son, did Sarek see Uhura smile. “ Live long and prosper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nyota's being serious and here's Sarek trying to be cute. I can't.


	5. Can Vulcan encourage laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyota seems down to Sarek. Is there a way he can cheer her up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some chapters are shorter or longer than others but I want to end them as I see fit. Bear with me.

He was surprised at how quiet she was. For the first three weeks Nyota carried herself as if she had just met him. Professional yet cool, an acceptable disposition for any other Vulcan to be met with but it felt...unnatural for Sarek to mirror back. 

The typical gamesome nature he had witnessed in the past with Spock had yet to rebound and he found himself oddly miffed with his son. It was an unintended consequence of their p’pil’lay but Sarek missed the Uhura he knew. 

On her first day in, she trailed behind him as he gave her a tour of the grounds. As they walked through the building, Uhura only spoke to ask questions. That she did not choose to spontaneously comment on features of interest or make idle talk surprised him. 

Sarek could see her eyes curiously taking in the sights about them, her gaze lingering on particular places as they went about the corridors. All this he saw but she remained thoughtfully quiet.

If he were forced to admit it, Sarek did feel a passing glance of disappointment. There had been a wealth of emotional pain on her end during his meld with her. She cherished her bond with Spock as much as a Vulcan would have but he had to take it from her. Sarek had hoped that she had regained some of her buoyancy thereafter but it did not seem to be the case. 

So on the first day of the fourth week he was quite startled to hear her laugh. Not that he hadn’t heard it before; he remembered its melodic qualities. It had been so long and its presence unexpected that at the first few huffs, he sat up in alarm.

Nyota glanced over at his desk and bit her lip with a smile. “ I’m sorry to do this but could I call you back? Yes, I will. Look for my email BCOB today and we’ll follow up from there. Ok. Yes. Good bye.”

She pushed the screen to end the call and shot him an apologetic look. “ I’m sorry, I forgot myself. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

Her smile came back to her face as he relaxed his shoulders and gently shook his head. “ Not at all. I could hardly call your laughter a disturbance.” 

His brow furrowed as he placed his PADD in hand onto his desk and motioned towards her comm. “ I don’t imagine you were conversing with a Vulcan on your call?”

Uhura shook her head and chuckled. “ No. If it were a Vulcan I think I would have put them on the spot with how to respond. No, that was the Betazoid diplomatic secretary. She’s a charmer.”

She propped her elbow up on her desk and placed her hand beneath her chin. The gesture made her look softer than usual with a touch of impishness. Her eyes were smiling at him. 

Sarek found himself gladdened by the fact that she was. He was also horrified that he was so glad that he had noticed and cared at all. He was acting foolish. Still he really couldn’t be bothered with feeling silly. 

“ Some would say the same about you, Ms.Uhura.”

He knew he was edging in a direction he ought not go but he wasn’t a Vulcan that was risk adversed. Spock got his streak from him after all, blundering around however his supposedly suppressed emotions took him.

Sarek was about to frown at the thought of him and his current course of action when Uhura made a delightfully airy hum. “  _ Ambassador _ ! You’re going to make me blush. Who’s the charmer now?”

Her smile was wider now and he felt giddy from it. He retrieved his PADD from his desk and went back to reviewing his junior’s reports. A large part of him was distracted by how much he enjoyed seeing her smile. Another less subdued part of him was eager to make her laugh much like the Betazoid had.

He peered over the rim of his tablet and silently gave into the urge.


	6. Dress to feel like the best

Nyota hadn’t thought that working with him would be so comfortable and yet everyday spent in the Sarek’s presence was surprisingly peaceful. Peaceful didn’t mean she wasn’t busy multitasking; she did plenty of that. There was a familiarity though to the chaos, like avoiding intergalactic incidents. That was as much her job as it was the Ambassador’s. 

One misquote could have Caitians threatening to scalp the Benzite Emperor and eat his children. Pressure like that would have made her nervous if she were still some green cadet fresh out of the academy but Sarek pegged her right when he said that she thrived under such instances. 

Nyota fell into the embassy’s routine easily, joining the morning coordination meetings, sitting in on the Ambassador’s interplanetary conference calls and of course accompanying him on his diplomatic events.

The last task was a strange mix of her least and most favorite things to do but as much as Nyota worried about embarrassing herself ( not to mention the Ambassador and both of their respective planets), Sarek’s cool demeanor kept her nerves steady.

As they sat in the office, tying up loose ends before heading off to the annual Babel conference, Nyota studied him more closely.

At the time, Sarek was doing nothing more than nursing a cup of tea and reading over the day’s news but it was how he did so that intrigued her. He was seated at the chair between his desk and lamp stand with one leg casually crossed over the other. The arm holding his mug was propped up on the arm of the chair in such a way that left his mood open to interpretation. It was the most relaxed she’s ever witnessed him being and she guessed that’s what intrigued her.

Sarek, a descendant of the legendary Surak, grandson of Skon of first contact, one of the great ministers of New Vulcan, was relaxing openly...in front of her. 

That he felt comfortable enough to do so in front of her was a prize in itself but Nyota savored the fact that he chose her.

Apparently her position had been open for quite some time. It was contrary to her initial thoughts that the ambassador must have created the job and its description just to help her with employment out of pity. 

She was corrected in this assumption when a number of his staff commented on his placid demeanor after her arrival.

Nyota was inclined to disagree but with what argument? That she was sure his calm came from having less on his plate to do? Because that would logically led back to her support in managing those troublesome task items. That he was eating lunch routinely now? He admitted he did so nowadays because he noted her lack of consistent eating.

He complained that she wouldn’t be in her peak condition to do her job if she didn’t eat well. After her fifth week of this behavior Sarek not only dined with her but brought her lunch as well. Nyota had the sneaking suspicion that he was making the dishes himself but never got the nerve to ask him. She worried it would be rude or that he might take it the wrong way if she did. And he was trying so hard to be considerate of her even though he launched this food crusade as a means to get her in prime working condition.

It was hard enough finding Terran food in New Vulcan but the freshness and variety of dishes he brought in for their second meal piqued her interest. Vegetable lo mien, five bean chili and the hilariously ancient avocado toasts were just some of the things he plied her with.

Sarek would present each one with a humble flourish only a Vulcan could manage and watched her hawk-like in her consumption. She figured he must have been noting her relish of each one because the food changed on a weekly basis and with dishes she couldn’t help but make little hums of delicious or yummy about. This seemed to give Sarek a measure of pleasure but also a welcomed sense of duty.

Caring for Nyota, in the laborious task of catering had seen Sarek with a lighter air about him. She supported him without compliant in his emails and communications and he in turn could see to her comfort. She could have left his ease and concern of her well-being there but she would remiss.

What about his somewhat lame and convenient excuses to stay late at the office when her work demanded it? His requests for a walking partner to help him clear his mind when the painful reminder of her destroyed bond crept onto her face and into her movements? And his supposed need for an opinion over topics she was certain only she truly fancied. Why would Sarek be so concerned over the merits of beignets vs mandazi?

No, she guessed she couldn’t argue against them. Working for the cool, collected alien diplomat had put them both at peace. But seeing him now, reading the news with a mug in hand felt hilariously strange and intimate. 

It was the vision she imagined greeting her if she had come downstairs from bed to find her significant other bright and awake with coffee and the sunrise. Comfortable. Easy. Unhindered. Sarek’s unguarded reading made her feel oddly at home.

Sensing her gaze he met it was a slow felid blink. She should have looked away after staring so rudely but she didn’t want to. She wanted to look at him looking at her. She smiled brightly as he easily held her gaze and placed his PADD in his lap. “ Are you looking forward to the convention at the end of this week?”

Nyota could have sworn he was about to ask something else, something that would have had her teasing him back. Probably better that he didn’t. Things between them were feeling more than chummy. She would quickly admit in a playful manner than Sarek was like her work husband. Even that felt complicated but she wouldn’t let their former stations, him nearly being her father in law, keep her from the joy of their budding friendship. She wanted to know Sarek as a person outside of Spock’s association. 

  
She wasn’t sure it would work but so far so good. She nodded and crossed her legs under her desk. “ I am though I will say I’m at a loss for what to wear.”

He looked at her thoughtfully and canted his face to the side. “ Wear something that makes you feel like the guest of honor.”

She giggled and shook her head. “ No, I meant should I wear a Vulcan robe or something Terran?”

He slowly tilted one brow and retrieved his PADD with a wry look. “ Dear Uhura I’ve already told you what to wear. What would make you feel like royalty? What could you dress in that would have people tripping over themselves to speak with the Vulcan delegation. It should be comfortable, stylish and have your confidence bordering on arrogance. Do you have a garment like that?”

She nodded, though her mind was elsewhere. Dear, Sarek had called her dear. Not his dear but a dear nonetheless. Perhaps she should tell him that word followed by her name had made her feel like a princess? She saw that he was looking at her expectantly and quickly cleared her though. “ Yes I do. There’s an off the shoulder black velvet dress I have...I’ve never worn it because Starfleet likes for us to wear our dress greys. I feel...beautiful in it.”

Sarek gave a firm nod as if that settled things. “ We’ll leave for the ship from the office so be sure to bring it along with whatever footwear and accessories you wish to wear. Babel unlike other conventions encourages flair and personal style. As the human phrase goes ‘have fun with it’ Uhura.”

Nyota ran her teeth over her bottom lip to keep herself from smiling. “ I intend to, sir.”


	7. Another fall and the help after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyota gets ready for the biggest conference of the season when she left reeling once more.

It sounds like rain she thought as the wind rustled the dry leaves above her. Nyota opened her eyes to study the bright blue leaves before letting her focus dim again. They stuck out in this world like a sore thumb, like her. Everything around New Vulcan was some sort of warm or hot shade of something except for the K’ai trees lining the metro transit median. 

The K’ai saplings were donated to the embassy in hopes the preserving of Vulcan’s flora. Most other plants were happy enough to mimic their repose as if they were on Vulcan but not these.

Traditional red leaves sprouted blue and rattled dryly with malnutrition. The pale bark only served to make its appearance more jarring.

She stared at them each morning as she made her way to work. This morning had her bogged down a suitcase and garment bag containing her dress for the trip. She still had no better ideas of what else to pack but made do with putting anything she deemed fancy inside her suitcase. That was easy enough, she didn’t have much here. Mostly because like the trees she was really from elsewhere.

It was no matter. The trees were still pretty even in their fragility. The flitter-like trolley came to a stop in front of the embassy where most of the trees were planted. Maybe it was her distracted mind with her suitcase and travel plans that made the sight next to the trees in the far right corner arrest her.

She wanted to question the figure and if it was who she thought him to be but he was unmistakable. Mistaking Spock would have been like mistaking her own reflection in the mirror. The trolley hummed away and the sidewalks occupants whirled around her as Nyota stood staring at them. He was with T’Pring. His hand was guiding her in a hover chair as they made their way through the city. Perhaps she was still ill and in need of it. Maybe he thought to get her fresh air for her constitution and Nyota just happened upon their backs.

The sight of their casual appearance had her frozen. Nyota felt like she was in the head beams of an oncoming flitter, its horn blaring at her to move on and move now. But in a similar fashion to a deer her eyes rounded and her feet were cemented heavily in place. And in the same frame she found herself paralyzed with the thoughts screaming through her head.

_ Spock? Is that him? It can’t be though it definitely could be. Is that T’Pring? Did they see me? Did he see me? Oh heavens no! Why? Why is he here now? Why is he with her and they’re out right now? Why isn’t he looking at me?  _

She felt sucker punched when they finally rounded the corner. Used to be she could just think of him and Spock’s eyes would find hers in the room. Here she had been screaming internally in agonized shock and he hadn’t even sensed it. Sensed her. 

Nyota hurried inside the embassy building. Her body screamed to go back. It wanted the comfort of his arms and the familiar heat of his embrace but her heart was lurching. The aches of heartbreak and broken promises tore at her as she rushed for the bathroom. 

The faces of people around her blurred with the embarrassing waver for tears and she willed them not to spill before she made it into the lavatory. 

Her name came from a few in obvious concern but she couldn’t stop. She wasn’t even certain she could speak. She felt choked with the bubbling emotion, as it fought to be released. 

_ Oh god, he didn’t even look at her. He didn’t even just.. _

A sob tore from her lips as she burst through the sliding bathroom door. She held her arm with the garment bag folded over it against stomach while her other hand flew to her mouth. She shut her eyes as the fat, hot tears began to roll down her cheeks. Why? Why did he have to be there? And with her!

She willed herself to calm down, stop being silly which only made the crying jag worse. She wasn’t being silly. How was she supposed to calm down? He was with T’Pring. Hadn’t he more or less professed his love for Nyota. More or less. How pathetic. How can anyone be more or less in love? You either were or weren’t in it. Felt it or didn’t. And…

_ Don’t say it _ she begged her mind,  _ don’t even think it _ . Don’t make it worse, don’t make it real. Don’t make the sight of Spock carrying with his life and former now current bondmate without a care bring her to her knees. 

She couldn’t be caught in such a fuss. Not here in the embassy at her job. This wasn’t the business of diplomatic Vulcans. If she was going to have a moment of grief that bordered on a panic attack then she had fucking earned the right to move through it in privacy. 

Her breath began to smooth at this, evening out with only the occasional sniff and hiccuping gasp. She went to the counter and stared back at her reflection. A blotchy, distressed version of herself stared back with bloodshot eyes. 

She wouldn’t be able to do anything about them but she opened her purse anyways. She kept her makeup routine simple but she had to chop that in half if she would want to make it into the office on time. A few delegates and members of staff trailed in during her beauty Hail Mary. Thankfully they held to cultural dictects and didn’t question her. They didn’t even speak. They were all in and out of the lavatory in peak efficiency. Or maybe a woman just knew the look on Nyota’s face, knew the sacredness of silence held between females when a male has hurt one of them as bad as Spock had hurt her.

When she entered the office however Sarek did not hold the silence or observe his own culture. One look at her bleary eyes face and he was rising out of his chair and crossing the room. He paused only to comm in the request to have his calls diverted and his next meeting rescheduled. “ Yes. It’s an urgent matter that can’t be put off. Yes, thank you.”

He locked his door and turned towards her. One by one he took her purse, bag and suitcase and laid them all to the side along the couch. Then those same busy arms wrapped around her liked cables, pulling her towards the couch. She plopped down beside him as he sat careful to avoid sitting on her purse. He stiffly laid an arm over her shoulders and held her shivering frame against his side. He seemed uncertain at her reception of his half hug but their was a conviction to it. It felt right to do it or perhaps it felt like he wanted to do this for her.

Nyota thought she would have cried then. It was the first embrace she had experienced in months but she was tired. Nyota’s eyes closed as she leaned in closer. Her arms came loosely up around his shoulders before resting there. 

A small sigh escaped through his nose she did, making her wonder about all of this. She had woken up, expecting nothing more than the demands of her job and had the rug pulled out from under her. But there was a light to it. Nyota also had someone helping her up from the fall who wanted and expected nothing of her but her own happiness. Nyota bit at her lip as she reflected on his attention to her. He had looked so wary of her distress, moved so swiftly to relieve it. How wonderful it was.

  
The draw to lay her head down across his chest was indescribably strong. The woody, cedar scent of him beckoned her to.  _ Why did all the Vulcans she knew smell like the woods when there are so few forests where they lived _ she thought. Nyota pondered this and other things as he sat there beside her holding her in the quiet oasis of his office.


	8. The diplomacy of phishing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyota looks ravishing and Sarek ( and everyone else at the Babel convention) can hardly contain themselves. So when the drinks start flowing and the tongues start wagging will Sarek be a bit more forward in his speech and actions?

She had taken pains to craft the beautifully composed female he saw before him but it still felt effortless to him. Dark, smokey eyes, stark, red lips and loose curls tossed haphazardly to the side. Nyota was easily the most beautiful being in the room and as the terran diplomat, Mrs. Lin said, as pretty as a picture.

Sarek stood rigid in the doorway as she walked towards him in a black gown that did everything to draw his eyes to places they need not go. “ Ms. Uhura. You are immaculately dressed. I see you heeded my suggestion of looking the most elegant in the room.”

She smiled at his compliment and held her clutch modestly out in front of her. “ Thank you, sir. Dressing like this ended up making me late so I’m not too happy about it. Sorry about the tardiness.”

He shook his head and stepped toward her. “ I have waited for far longer for far worse company.”

She smiled as he hoped she would and came to stand at his side. “ There you go, teasing me again. I suppose it’s much better than having you rebuke me.”

Sarek nearly scoffed at the thought of doing so. Nyota had been the most attentive translator he’d ever had. For all that she did, the proper title should have been assistant attactache.

She cleared her throat and he looked down to find her fidgeting with something at her back. “ Sir, if you could be so kind as to…”

She angled her back towards him and left the rest of her words hanging in the air. For a moment he thought she meant for him to admire the view of her from behind, which he did. It took him a moment to notice the small zipper she was angling her hand to reach. Most of it had been drawn closed but a small section along with the clasp remained undone. 

“ Yes, of course.” he said gingerly moving behind her. It had been so long since he had done something like this that placing her hand at her side felt like a foreign concept. She stilled her fidgeting as he zipped the remained up and started on the clasp. The bits were small and had his knuckles brushing the bare skin of her back as he wrangled them together. She felt as smooth as the velvet as she was wearing and smelled...why, he couldn’t think of a lovely enough perfume. He dipped his head as if he were trying to gain a better view of the clasp hooks and sniffed at her. 

Divine he thought sighing out his breath through his nose. His lips parted and he saw and felt her shiver as his breath disturbed the curls lying demurely around her neck. A faded scar laid beneath them that he had to look twice to assess what exactly it was. A bite, from his son no doubt, made in the heat of passion. Sarek cast his gaze away from it, grateful for her hair’s coverage and Starfleet’s current absence.

In a risky maneuver he placed his hand against her back. Half of it laid against her dress while the other half was braced against her skin. “ Done.”

He saw he swallow and instantly felt his mind rebuke him. That move was an abuse of his station. How could he have allowed himself to be so crude? If she didn’t welcome his hand, what then? Would she lodge a complaint? Curse his wandering hand? Quit?

He paled and bowed his head in apology. “ Excuse me. I was wrong to touch you in such a familiar fashion. I-”

“ Don’t.” she interrupted. She was smiling but kept her face averted. “ You’re okay. Thank you.”

Sarek flustered still wanting to offload his guilt when something large and blue came into his peripheral vision. He turned and internally sighed as he was met with Golag, Andoria’s newest ambassador to Vulcan and the rest of the alpha quadrant, grinning face. “ Sarek! Where have you been all the evening? I had to talk to the Tellerites for half an hour by myself because of you.”

“ My apologies. I had yet to make it over that far.”

They spoke with a number of others joining them and picking up into the conversation. Nyota shadowed Sarek beside his right shoulder, offering clarification when the universal translator was negligent in giving everyone an acceptable interpretation into their native tongue.

By the fourth time she did this, everyone within the group relaxed enough to be more verbous and colorful in their language. Much to Sarek’s delight Ms.Uhura seemed to relish the exercise, laughing along with everyone as she quickly told a joke in Trillian after hearing it in Deltan.

A few of them peeled away with promises to come back after the finished their rounds. The did so on the premise that this was the ‘fun’ group. Sarek lifted a solitary brow at that. When had the Vulcan delegation ever been labelled with the superlative fun? He felt he owed Ms. Uhura a prize and least of all a raise. Fun, he had never been. 

After fifty five chatty minutes, Golag wrapped up with a very long and dramatic goodbye that was clearly meant for the woman beside him.

Sarek nodded and leveled a steady gaze at his fellow diplomat. “ A pleasure as always speaking with you Golag. I look forward to seeing what other work you develop for Andoria.”

The pale blue male before him gave a gracious grin though his antenna were notably angled towards Ms. Uhura. Sarek repressed the urge frown at the gesture even as his eyes narrowed over their swaying lurch. Ms.Uhura was, afterall, beautiful, unattached and drawing the attention of a good many people there at the conference. Sarek would not blame her admirers but he did he have to like them.

The Andorian remained oblivious to Sarek’s brooding mood and took Nyota’s hand into his own. “ You flatter me.” he said to Sarek, still holding Nyota’s hand. He turned to her then and gave a smoldering look of satisfaction. “ I hope to see both of you again, the sooner the better.”

He drew her hand to his mouth and planted a chaste kiss against the back of it. Nyota gave a flustered-looking smile and drew her hand back to her side. “ Live long and prosper, Ambassador Golag.”

“ Peace and long life, Miss…”

“ Uhura, sir.”

“ Lieutenant Uhura.” Sarek added, giving her a more formal title. Better that the Ambassador think of her as highly as he could. It could give his mind something more to think about to distract where his eyes were roving.

“ Ah, a lieutenant? Starfleet?”

Nyota nodded and he smiled with a low chuckle. “ Perhaps I’ll see you in more functions then?”

“ She’s currently on sabbatical from her duties and working full time at our embassy.”

“ Ah.” Golag nodded. His eyes were set along the neckline of her dress and none-too-subtly. 

Sarek adjusted his sleeve and retrieved a glass of wine from a passing waitress. Best to keep his hands busy when he was feeling so irritated. Not that he had any valid reason to be. In his own humble opinion however, the Andorian was being quite forward with his interpreter. He had only met her an hour ago and had kissed her hand. Scandalous, he thought, looking at the blue alien’s ravenous gaze.

Taking a small, measured sip from his glass, Sarek coolly delivered his next words. “ I am afraid that my schedule keeps Ms.Uhura very busy but be sure email her points of interest when she next visits Andoria.”

Golag brightened at the news of her possible trip and wagged a finger at her as he made his departure. “ You can bet on it. Just let me know when and I’ll see to showing you around myself, Ms.Uhura.”

He winked at her and Sarek actually frowned then. 

“ That will not be necessary.” Sarek quipped quietly. Golag continued to wave his goodbye while Nyota gave his retreating form a curious look. Sarek waved the waiter back and gestured for Nyota to select a drink for herself. She started to reach for a glass of champagne when she stopped her hand midway. “ I’m still on duty.”

Sarek took the glass she had been reaching for and placed it gently in her hand. “ I do not believe it will affect your abilities, Ms.Uhura. At least not one or two glasses.”

She favored him with a small smile and braced the thin flute against her fingers. “ Thank you, sir.”

He smiled back in spite of himself before quickly dispelling the expression. “ Think nothing of it. You have made my time easier and far more enjoyable.”

The pair of them paused to nurse their drinks and gazed out over the crowd. Golag had made it to the buffet table but has yet to make a plate for the guests that had crowded around him. They all seemed eager to gain the ear of the new Andorian diplomat. He, on the other hand, still appeared busy trying to catch Nyota’s eye. 

Sarek peered towards her and found Nyota staring over the scene. What was she thinking?

“He has a certain appeal, does he not?” he commented casually. He wasn’t truly phishing for her opinion of the young Andorian but if it were to come about...well then...

“ Phssh. Not at  _ all _ interested.” Nyota scoffed, dismissing the thought with a graceful flick of her wrist. 

Sarek watched her curiously as she retrieved another glass of champagne and claimed one for himself. He saddled closer to her as he took the flute’s stem between his fingers, careful not to loom over her and watched as she sipped at hers. 

A careful coiled curl slipped across her shoulder as she drank. His gaze followed the strand as it slid over the curve of her clavicle with more attention than was due. Seconds later he glanced up to her face from guilt of staring but she was deep in thought.

She looked more interested in her beverage than she had the male in question. He was sure that Golag would have caught her eye but here she was nursing her drink instead. Fascinating. 

Sarek sampled his glass and chanced offending her for the opportunity to know her mind. “If it would not be too forward of me to inquire, may I ask as to why you’re not at  _ all _ interested?”

Nyota exhaled through her nose and pulled the glass from her mouth. His gaze flickered over to the rim, noting the red crescent smudge from lipstick staining the glass. His eyes wandered curiously up towards her mouth and tilted his head. Her lips were exceptionally full. Had they always been so? Perhaps it was due to the nervous fidgeting of her teeth against her bottom lip but he somehow doesn’t think that was the case. They have always been...pleasing, he was just now noticing. Why was he noticing?

Nyota answered him, blind to his gawking and shrugged. “Not too forward but probably boring. A guy like that doesn’t make the cut.”

Sarek felt his eyebrows draw towards one another as he tilted his head to the other side. “Pardon me, but the cut? I’m unfamiliar with the phrase.”

She shook her head and brought her glass further away from her lips. “ Oh, sorry. Yeah, well, if you must know, I’ve been doing a lot of evaluating when it comes to who to date and Golag just doesn’t meet the criteria.”

Sarek paused and looked back at the Andorian staring after his interpreter. Though not in the least bit appealing to him, Sarek could see why many females would find him worthwhile. He was a young but decorated diplomat in good physical condition with excellent hygiene. It could be said that the Andorian could have his pick of most females he came across between his gregarious nature and fetching good looks. All of this and yet he did not make Ms.Uhura’s ‘cut’. Why?

Sarek nodded at a passing fellow corps member and took a quick sip of his drink. He should be pleased that she hadn’t found him appealing and more or less, he very much was. However it troubled him that a seemingly worthy individual would be so thoroughly dismissed by her. What was he missing that she found lacking? Better yet, why did he care? “ You say that the young Andorian did not meet your criteria, could you expound on that?”

She gazed at him from over the rim of her glass and Sarek found himself momentarily stunned. He could blame inebriation or her dress but even as he thought of these explanation they felt like lies. For various side effects of imbibing alcohol, Sarek liked the loss of emotional control was one of them.

Before he could think on it further she was answering him. “ I just want someone who makes me comfortable and isn’t putting on any airs. Spock...When I was…” she cleared her throat and started again. Sarek waited patiently, somewhat regretting having raised a topic that made her clearly upset.

“ I want to be put first and made to feel special in my next relationship.” she declared with a nod. “ I want someone who not only makes me feel like an equal but like a lady as well. That heart stuttering sort of flutter when we talk and…”

She stopped suddenly and took another sip. Sarek stepped closer, somewhat blocking the view of Golag’s leering gaze and gesture towards her with his glass. “ Ms. Uhura, you needn’t wait to feel exceptional when you and everyone else knows that you are.”

The look that she gave him afterwards was nothing like what she gave Golag. He had only witnessed it a few times before after his son had complimented her. Sarek couldn’t be certain but he might be giving her the same look back.


	9. Good food, Great company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyota's credit account got hacked and she's without groceries. So it's only logical that Sarek has her over for dinner right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up it's a longer chapter.

“ Damn it! You have got to be kidding me!” 

Sarek baulked away from his tablet and glance over to where Nyota was standing she was hunched over her comm with a furious expression and for a moment he feared that she might break it. “ Son of a bitch!”

He turned in his chair to face her and didn’t bother smoothing his expression of worry. “ What has happened?”

Nyota huffed up towards the ceiling before pitching her comm back into her purse. “ My account has been hacked and I have not no money in my account. I know I can sort it out at the bank but I basically have not no money until it’s settled. Just fucking fabulous! Oh!”

She turned towards him with a bashful look of shame. “ Sorry. I usually don’t curse this much. It’s...just that I’m out of groceries and I was going to-”

“ Allow me the pleasure of hosting dinner.”

She looked as if she might protest that couldn’t burden him and spurred him into insisting. “ It is no trouble at all. While I get everything ready you can sort out any remaining transgressions you come across in your accounts.”

She looked at him thoughtfully when he added. “ I would very much enjoy having you over.”

Nyota beamed at the admission and nodded at him cheerfully. “ Then I would love to come over. Thank you.”

“ The pleasure is mine, Ms.Uhura.”

Her work thereafter had been like the production output of a well-oiled machine. Nyota spoke with her banks and creditors during their lunch. Between bites of a very delicious albeit spicy masala squash curry Nyota happily dispatched her fiscal responsibilities to clear herself for dinner. The ambassador sat at his desk eating the same meal. He was taking surrepitious glances in her direction as was his practice but the energy behind his eyes felt different? Was he feeling nervous about having her over? Anxious about her enjoying herself? Or was he pondering something else entirely?

She closed out of her comm call and groaned in satisfaction. “ Banks say I should have my credit balance by in order by tomorrow.”

“ How fortunate. If you were in need of any credit in the meantime I would extend any that you may need.”

She raised her hand and waved his offer off. “ No, no. I don’t need anything now that you’re taking care of dinner. You already make me lunch as it is.”

He paused in spearing a piece of squash onto his fork and gave her a serious look. “ I make second meal for us. It is not an inconvenience. If anything you’re the one performing the favor of making sure I do not have leftovers. It is hard to cook for one.”

Nyota agreed and polished off the rest of her curry. How long had it been since Sarek had made dinner for more than one? How often had he made meals for Amanda? Nyota thought of all the times she and Spock had tried to make dinner together and more or less failed in their attempts. They did fine independently but together they had been a mess in the kitchen. It was funny then, cute as she thought but it saddened her now.

“ Any requests for dessert?”

Nyota snapped out of her melancholy reframe and blinked up towards his face. She hummed as she thought and shrugged. “ Surprise me.”

Sarek gave her a ghost of a smile and blinked back at her slowly in a near wink. “ Very well then, I will endeavour to do so. Once we’ve finished for the day, ride home with me and I’ll shall see to your dinner and surprise.”

The drive over to his home felt awkward. No matter how close she had been to him in the galas and how many times it had just been the two of them in his office, the flitter was different. They were truly alone with nothing and no one to come between them.

Nyota fought to keep her fidgeting to a minimum as he steered the vehicle steadily towards his home. She had only seen his domicile from holovids Spock kept around his cabin. She wasn’t sure what to expect and that made her nervous. She sat tugging at her skirt and glancing over at his hand resting on the armrest the whole ride over. 

She worried over being there at all? Did he feel as stilted as she did or was Sarek at ease as he seemed? His hand look so large laying there on the armrest. She wondered idly how much of it would cover her thigh if he were to rest it there and immediately felt guilty. 

Here he was, her widowed, Vulcan boss aiming to soften the blow to her evening with making her dinner and she was fantasizing about him. Not for the first time did Nyota wonder if she had a superior/junior complex given her previous relationship with his son. That she even questioned it gave her a small measure of peace but in all honesty she didn’t think so.

Sarek had been nothing but consistent from the moment Nyota met him. She knew the father Spock had told her of but the person of Sarek was different.

He cared to a fault and sometimes to his detriment. He acted rashly and oftentimes didn’t see the folly of it until it was too late.`She recounted his profuse apologies as he zipped her up and placed his hand at her back. It hadn’t been unwelcomed to her. Hell it even felt good but he saw how it could have been taken and chastised himself for it.

And unlike Spock, Sarek was airy. He had a carefreeness about him that she had never seen from his sullen-prone offspring. Spock constantly worried. His obsession with rules and regulations had more to do with how he would be viewed if he broke them rather than keeping the protocol itself.

Sarek on the other hand was bolder. He had a few set observations and practices like not eating the flesh of animals and keeping a pretty strenuous workout schedule but everything else looked to be up to interpretation. He danced for one. He begged that off as a diplomatic necessity along with drinking and other recreation but Nyota wondered if it had more to do with the fact that he might actually like all three. 

Another thing Sarek the person had that she gravitated towards was honesty. He wasn’t necessarily an open book but she knew about him in these past three month than Spock had revealed to her in the past six years. Maybe Sarek saw no value in keeping to oneself? Nyota thought it more than likely that frankly didn’t give two shits what people thought of him. 

He was aware of his flaws but never let their multitude keep him from living his life to the fullest. Nyota smiled at the thought as the pulled to a stop in front of a one pale brick abode out of a set of five. 

The buildings were set close together with only a walkway between them, giving the feel of a complex. They all varied in size but the one they parked in front of was one of the smaller ones. He got out quickly to help her out of the car and smiled himself at her gawking. 

“ Is this all one house?”

Sarek shut the flitter door and led her towards the house. “ Yes and no. It can host multiple families though only I’m the only one in permanent residence.”

They crunched along the gravelly red sand towards the entryway. The same K’ai tree saplings that lined the embassy courtyard also surrounded his home. Their placement felt less manicured as if the gardener had wanted to create a future in which it resembled something wild and forested.

The thought of a gardener prompted Nyota with another question. “ Do you have any staff that lives here?”

Sarek shook his head and motioned for her to step carefully around some of the more treacherous ground. “ Just myself. The custodians that care for the house come and go as needed. I’m not always on planet as you know so retaining a full wait staff would be a waste of resources.”

He approached the front door and it slid open at his proximity. The lights within the interior gradually adjusted themselves to a comfortable glow and welcomed them in. Sarek toed out of his shoes and sighed. “ Welcome, Ms. Uhura, to my home.”

He extended his hand for her to hold onto and use for balance as she shed her own footwear. Out of her heels once again towered over her as he kept her hand and led her further inside. Past the foyer the house was much like she had expected and seen in pictures. 

Everything was awash in harmonious warm colors with only the odd accent piece to break up the space. From the living room like area she saw a dining table next to the kitchen and a huge wall of windows. “ Let me show you the rest of the house before I begin preparing the meal.”

“ Okay.” she said following after him. He was continuing to hold her hand as he guided her upstairs. She wasn’t sure if was intentional. 

Sarek’s telepathy was much more controlled than Spock’s. Nyota received nothing but warmth from his touch and she was sure he wasn’t snooping in on her. Well not sure but that wouldn’t be in keeping with what she knew of him. If he were eavesdropping maybe he would know that holding her hand was giving her a growing case of butterflies and that he ought to stop unless he wanted to encourage it. Perhaps he did?

The second floor had more personal affects upstairs than the first. There were holopix and mementos and even a few potted plants in each room. Nyota went from one to the other knowing exactly which was Spock’s but noted two others that had a similar feel to them. Did Sarek family that came over occasionally? No one that she had ever heard of from Spock but again, he had always cherished his secrecy. 

“ And lastly, my bedroom.”

It was almost as he knew she had been anticipating it. Nyota cleared her throat to keep herself from too interested but was sure she was failing. Her eyes immediately sought the bed and found it butted against the adjacent wall. Her cheeks grew hot as she judged it further. It didn’t look to be king size which was sensible for one person but it did look exceptionally plush. 

God, Nyota, you horndog! Stop squaring up his bed. He’s showing you his bedroom not inviting you lounge in it!

She took a deep breath through her nose and winced. She shouldn’t have done that. Oh, it smelled so good here, of soap and clean linens and him. Good Lord she was being tested.

Thank goodness he wasn’t listening in on her. What would he think of her salivating like this. 

It’s just unexpected that’s all she assured herself, just a fleeting curl of lust. He’s an attractive man showing her around his home. He’s holding her hand and keeping her entertained with his little, dry jokes that he insists he’s not making. Oh goodness, me.

Nyota cleared her throat again and fanned herself. Sarek was in the middle of pointing out the doors that led to a grand looking balcony when he noticed her distress. “ Are you uncomfortable, Ms. Uhura? Are you too warm?”

“ I’m fine.” she answered. She patted her hand against the dew sweat at her forehead and caught him frowning at her. “ You’re flush. Excuse me a moment.”

Sarek left her side and went to the comm panel near his bedside. He keyed in a sequence and there was an immediate coolness that blanketed the air. Nyota sighed and watched him walk back. “ You didn’t have to do that. I was fine.”

Sarek made a shrugging motion as his hand caught her elbow and guided her back downstairs towards the kitchen. “ I didn’t have to but I wanted to. And if I were to want you flushing, Ms.Uhura, I would prefer it to be from a fine wine and not the temperature of my home.”

_ What if I were flushing about you _ , she thought as he abandoned her arm at the foot of the kitchen and went to the fridge. She watched as he selected a pulled an ornate looking bottle and proceeded to open it with his bare hands. “ You enjoy a light-bodied aperitif, don’t you, Ms.Uhura?”

“ You’ve pegged me right, sir.” she said. He put the bottle down and opened a cabinet to retrieve, two glass stemwear pieces. “ You may address me by name.” He looked up from pouring and gave her a warm look. “ We’re not working or around our colleagues.”

“ Okay then. Sarek.” The transition from sir to Sarek felt a bit too intimate but what was harm. As he said they weren’t at work and they were friends, weren’t they. She took the glass he offered her and tapped its rim of it against the body of his. “ To good company and food.”

The corner of his lips quirked up in amusement as he drew his glass away and towards his mouth. “ Only good?”

Nyota sipped her drink and felt her brows shot up in surprise. Oh wow that was amazing. It had a slight fizz to it but nothing that she thought would make her burp after drinking. It was light as he said but slowly blossomed with the flavor of fruity wine, apples and other fruits she knew to be Vulcan. It was scrumptious. “ Okay, not good but great.”

He flashed her a quick smile and went back towards the counter. “ Yes, great company but let’s see to the great food.”

Nyota watched from the archway leading into the kitchen as Sarek rolled up his shelves and got to work prepping dinner. Something about the normalcy of feels wonderfully natural. It’s something done the world round but there was something surreal about having Sarek do it. 

He was Vulcan’s Ambassador to Earth, the father of her ex-bondmate and for all intents and purposes, her boss. And yet, here he was making dinner for her, sharing in the consumption of an aged liqueur and conversing with her as a friend? Nyota smiled into her glass and drank away the chuckle rising in her throat.

It was a novelty to eat a homemade anything and even more to see it prepared. Looking at Sarek as he careful ran his thumbs over the stiff purple plume, Nyota thought she saw him smile, however dimly. If she didn’t know any better, Nyota would almost think he was enjoying himself.

His movements were even and measured as usual but a bit more languid as he washed the  _ pre _ leaves under the running faucet. The escaping water collected along his forearms, matting the peppered hair down along his skin. He seemed just as content in this menial chore of cooking as he did in negotiations with bitter, galactic rivals. 

The muscles working under the swarthy cover of his olive skin paused as he looked up to regard her. Nyota took another sip of her drink and stepped out from the doorway. “Don’t mind me. I was just enjoying watching you work.”

He stared at her silently, gauging something by her answer, she assumed. What exactly it was, remained unclear. Sarek angled his body towards her and placed the washed leaves on a russet towel beside the sink. “I hope it was not to forward of me to assume that I would be preparing the evening meal?”

Nyota shook her head and smiled a bit wider than she intended. “No. Not at all. I love it.”

Sarek gazed back up from where he was drying the leaves, nonplused as to her reply. Nyota shrugged hurriedly and tried to chase away the heat blooming across her face. “Sorry. I’ll be more literally and less-”

“I do not mind your use of jargon or idioms.” He replied. She assumed he wouldn’t mind but that he says so now only serves to calm her. He was good at that, making her feel welcomed, if not invited just as she was. Just as he had when his large hands went to re-clasping her dress, the heat of his palm and fingers-

Nyota cleared her throat and shook her head. She needed to either slow down on the wine or wait until she had something more substantial on her belly. It was going straight to her head and right now her thoughts could not be trusted. She licked her lips and chose a safer, less sensual topic. “ No, not at all. I know it’s customary, the guest cooking and all when invited over. It’s just - I didn’t think you’d be so happy about it.”

Sarek blinked languidly and moved himself so he could tend to his cooking while keeping her in his periphery. “ I would not call it a hobby but I do enjoy cooking.”

“ With all the galas and appointments I must attend, I so rarely get a chance to do so.” He paused and added. “ It is a methodical yet creative activity.” 

“A delicious one too.” Nyota teased back, walking over to stand beside him. “You need any help?”

He gathered the vegetables into a tight bundle between his hands and shook his head as he dropped them delicately into the rolling boil of the water. “Yes. You can relax.”

She laughed full on then and was rewarded with small, budding smile from his mouth as he used an interestingly tined utensil to stir and prod at the vegetables. “You work for me all day, Ms.Uhura. I would think you would enjoy having me work for  _ you _ for once.”

She smiled with half of her teeth hidden behind her glass. “ Oh I enjoy it, don’t you doubt for one minute. How exactly is me relaxing helping you with dinner?” she retorted, watching the odd-colored leaves spin in the wake of his stirring.

“ It is a simple thing. I believe it logical that the end meal be as relaxing and enjoyable as possible. This prepares the body for sleep and ultimately for the next day’s activities.”

Her eyebrows rose at his answer as she nodded. “Wow, all that from having a good dinner.”

“A superior one.” he remarked with a tilt to the corner of his lips. “ I am the one cooking afterall.”

She giggled and shook her head, leaning heavy on the countertop. “Sarek, are you teasing me?”

“Teasing you, Ms.Uhura? How could you even conceive of that notion? I am a Vulcan.” he countered. The curl to his lips was stronger now but for anyone else other than Nyota, he still would have appeared unaffected.

“Ha, you  _ are _ joking with me!” she chuckled in a fully broken smile.

“Employing humor was a most reasonable way in achieving a favorable result.”

She ran her tongue quickly over her lip to catch the stray drops of wine beaded on her lipstick before she went back to smiling at him. “What result is that exactly?”

“Your smile for one.” he said with a bob of his head. “Your comfort for another.”


	10. by-play of talented tongues

The annual Alpha-Beta quadrant conference was well underway when they finally arrived. Sarek quietly led his small entourage through its halls without a second thought. While new members were added every standard year, the program hadn’t deviated since it was first wrought.

Every year had them shuffling around dining rooms and lounges to accommodate everyone’s sleep and eating schedules. As a seasoned ambassador, Sarek was use to milling around but this convention in particular held a sort of bitterness to it.

His Amanda had always been busy working and researching for her own career that she could only attend his events every so often. This one had always been her favorite. It had no shortage of characters, the food was well catered and the overall atmosphere was lax. 

She would dress finely, always with illogical footwear. Her hair would depend on her mood but as she grew older it became her habit to wear it up. They would float from group to group, like a pair of Terran waterfowl navigating the wake of crushing bodies. Whenever he was amenable she would hang off of his arm and direct him about like some kept husband. He would act put off but she knew the truth of it. It was hard though to admit that he couldn’t get enough of it or her.

Public displays of affection were rare among Vulcans. It was a taboo that Sarek had a hard time navigating. His first wife found ozh'esta to be too upsetting to perform in public but indulged him as much as she could. 

Amanda on the other hand he had to work to subdue. She brought out the modest side of him. He could enjoy the freedom her humanity afford her vicariously through their bond without having to risk losing face. 

He looked to his right at the beautifully prim lady beside him and wondered what she would think. Would Uhura tend towards modesty or be more lenient when it came to affection? 

If he were to hold his fingers out to her would she know what to do in return? What their two fingers pressed together meant? He could only assume so after dating his son for as long as she had. He drew a deep inhale through his nose at the thought and clenched his jaw. 

Spock hadn’t been even handed with her as Sarek would have hoped. Spock was not the forgiving sort and Sarek’s parenting and marriage to his mother had been riddled with mistakes. The fact was that he didn’t always know what to do or rather what would have been best for those involved. 

He thought bonding in a traditional fashion would have given his son peace. That a human girl in need of parents, a new and loving family, would bring all of them together. He had assumed that expounding on the merits of Vulcan culture and logic would have healed his eldest’s son mental instability. He had thought a marriage suppressed in emotion would have been free of conflicts and regret.

He had thought so much and had known so very little. 

Sarek reflected on his slow but steady progress in what Amanda had deemed ‘to be less of an asshole’ and ‘more thoughtful of others’. He hadn’t understood it at the time because he was constantly thinking of others. Constantly thinking and acting but never quite listening to them. 

He would know that Spock would like a particular book series but never sought to learn why. What was was and he had in his young family-hood left it at that. He never listened to why Sybok wanted to laugh and cry and sing. He never asked Amanda why the Zephirine Drouhin pink rose was her favorite. 

He should have asked. He had started to ask but he learned too late with all of his family that time was guaranteed to no one and to not take anyone for granted. He was sorry that Spock was learning these hard lessons the way that he was; that Nyota Uhura’s heart had been needlessly wounded in the process.

He was grieved that he hadn’t been able to instruct all his children on these virtues himself. All this but life and love were not done with him.

Sarek wouldn’t take this delightfully witty and cheery beauty for granted. In the short months they had been working together, Ms.Uhura had become his closest friend and confidant. He found her beauty abounding, from her elegantly composed face to the vivacious spirit that tickled his as much as he did hers. 

He knew from the moment she called he would care for her however he could. It was the day she had come into the office puffy eyed and near tears once more, that he was all hers. He didn’t know when her friendship had come to mean so much but seeing her cry, let him know that he treasured it. 

My most cherished friend he thought fondly. He watched her survey the crowd as he knew he did himself. She was amusing, his lovely friend. She had taken on the duties here like a selhat to sand. He couldn’t help the coveted way he would introduce her.  _ ‘ Oh my companion? She’s actually a Lieutenant in Starfleet. Their prized linguist and assuredly their most becoming. Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to Ms. Nyota U’Penda Uhura now. Who knows what other brilliant adventure and career she’ll be on next.’ _

It went this way in some form or fashion at every event they attended until the desired buzz of her presence had reached a fever pitch. It wasn’t her celebrity Sarek was after but a more sizable sampler of careers. She’d be hired no problem anywhere at the core of the alpha quadrant but now she could easily search beyond those horizons. Nyota always could have but Sarek wanted it to be a cakewalk for her. 

“There are more Vulcans here?”

Sarek looked from Nyota to the direction she was staring and nodded slowly. “ Yes. Ambassador Kuvak is on the high council and runs our beta quadrant embassy located on Betazed. He’s been away since you’ve hired.”

He could see her mentally cataloging the information and searching her memory for more. “ His embassy office is located on Betazed, correct?”

“ Yes.” He was a little more pleased with her recollection than was merited but he wanted her on her toes. Kuvak, despite his station and duties was not the most...warm of males.

Kuvak and his small entourage floated towards them without looking to be going in their direction. Sarek knew the trick and felt himself already mentally arming himself for the other’s meddling.

Once he was close enough Sarek raised his hand in a casual ta’al and gave a slight nod. “ Kuvak. Well met.”

Kuvak mirrored the gesture and went on to stare at Uhura. “ You have a new companion this evening.”

The statement was a question Sarek knew but he played along to keep the mood going. He gave his practiced introduction of her and saw her swell with pride beside him.  _ Yes you have much to preen about, don’t you dear? _

“ A human translator? How quaint.” he commented mildly.

Sarek blinked at him in growing irritation. Quaint? He cleared his throat and countered his fellow councilman. “ Humans are quite proficient in any vocation they set themselves too. Ms. Uhura was serving as the chief officer of the communications department on the Enterprise before I employed her.” 

Kuvak didn’t miss a beat. “ One would venture to ask why she should leave if she was so proficient in her vocation?” he quipped. Though he spoke to Sarek his eyes were on Uhura. In fact most of their staff and faculty members were staring at her now; all of them curious over her presence here.

She took a breath as if to answer but Sarek beat her to it. “ I make it my business to only work with the most brilliant team of minds the quadrant has to offer. Ms. Uhura’s is quite exceptional. When the opportunity presented itself for me to employ her, I did not hesitate.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Sarek saw Nyota flush hotly at his words with the rest of her expression looking unaffected. He knew she could most likely handle the coarse male before her but he couldn’t stand idly by as the lout insulted her.

The rest of their company bobbed their head at the sound logic over it while Kuvak sniffed. “ Always like you Sarek to favor humans over his own. Could you not find a Vulcan interpreter?” 

Nyota tilted her head with a smile that did not meet her eyes. None of the others noticed but then again no one else is watching her like Sarek is. 

She stepped closer and he bent down to lend her his ear. She whispered into his ear, smiling as if she were saying something amusing. “ Our friend hath no logic. Merely jealous eyes.”

She had spoken in high Vulcan to mask her words to those around her, knowing he would still understand. Sarek nodded at her and gave a slight smile of understanding. Cheeky minx. 

Kuvak flustered and pulled at his robe’s lapel. “ What’s this about?”

Sarek winked at Nyota before turning away. “ What it is, is High Vulcan.”

Kuvak turned to Nyota with an emerald flush staining his neck and cheeks. “ Using a language not everyone will understand does not feel logical.”

“ Maybe not.” she answered. Her tone was even and matter of fact. She turned towards Sarek and batted her eyes as she continued. “ Seems like you need an interpreter.”

Sarek felt his mouth smile down at her as she excuse herself for a drink. He canted his head to watch her walk away and silently thanked her tailor. This particular skirt and blouse combo had been wreaking havoc within his mind. Immaculately dressed and yet still leaving nothing for his very male’s imagination.

Kuvak sputtered and Sarek let his brow rise and with a cheshire cat of a smile. “ If I didn’t know any better I would say you were jealous of my human translator. Hold fast to your logic, brother that it doesn't show. Live long and prosper.”


	11. None is intended

“You haven’t called in ages. What is going on, msichana wangu?”

Nyota cradled the comm between her shoulder and ear and felt her gut drop. She hadn’t told her mother. Hell she hadn’t told anyone anything about her life after the Krall incident because she was just trying to managing the herself. _ Oh God this is where it all falls apart _ , she thought.

Dread knotted Nyota’s stomach as she took the comm between her hands, clicked on speaker and stared at the screen. She had been getting ready to go over Sarek’s for dinner. He was making some sort of tandoori that had made his invitation adorable in its proclamation.

“ Ms.Uhura, I have full confidence that you will say something along the lines that I have outdone myself. In fact you may be opposed to leaving my table.”

He had been smiling that mild, cheshire grin of his at her and she felt herself melt at his efforts to be a galaxy-class chef and a universe-worthy friend. How he labored for her attention. If he only knew she had spent every moment since she had arrived home, dressing and preening in front of the mirror for him. In a way she should not be cultivating his attention.

The option of visual feed pulsed white on the blue screen, taunting Nyota’s courage. She longed to see her mother’s face and yet what would she think of her appearance? Would she ask over who she was trying to impress or rather what the special occasion was? 

There was no special occasion only a special person...God, now Sarek’s a special person. _ He’s just your boss, girl. Get a grip, _ Nyota hissed at herself. 

In her indecision, Nyota’s mother continued on in obvious distressed. “ I ordered to have a care package delivered to you at the Enterprise’s next docking. I ordered it when I did because I didn’t want the food spoiling on you and it went unretrieved. When I commed into the station see what the problem was, I was informed you were no longer on the ship to receive the shipment.”

Her mother’s pitch grew in its sharpness as emotion began to bleed over. “ I didn’t know what they meant by it. I worried that they were trying to tell me that you were dead; I know how evasive the fleet can be. When I told them there must have been a mistake and asked for Spock they said he was no longer on the ship either. Then I knew there was a problem.”

Nyota closed her eyes and sighed through her nose. Rand had probably told her mother about her departure though it was clear the yeoman hadn’t said why. She would have been in the middle of a grilling of ‘ why, when, how’ over their relationship. Not that Nyota would blame her. 

She had avoided the fallout herself. Acted as if she had moved on and that the whole affair of them breaking up and Spock...being with T’Pring hadn’t happened. She had lied to herself to keep herself going but with her mama calling it seemed the buck stopped here.

Nyota adjusted the comm back against her ear and steeled herself. “ I’m sorry mama. I should have told you earlier.”

“Were you even going to tell me at all? What were you thinking? That’s not you Nyota. You don’t runaway from trouble and you don’t hide from your family. Your baba won’t say anything about it but since my call that day to the station and the Enterprise he has been worried sick.”

Nyota pursed her lips and looked at the airy chaftan floating over her legs. Her mind and emotions felt as jumbled and raw as the patterns lining it. No matter how much she wished to see her mother, she couldn’t do the videofeed. 

Not yet, not with her mom like this and her own pain still fresh. God, how was she even going to tell her? She closed her eyes and with one more patient breath, started talking. “ There was an incident. Spock had been sick because of another Vulcan. He had been bonded to someone else and she-”

“ What the hell!? Nyo, what do you mean he was-”

“ Mama please.” Her voice cracked and her mother fell deathly silent. Nyota forced herself to continue.The pain smarted in her chest as if she were pulling a foreign object wedged inside it free. If she stopped now, she wasn’t sure she would be able to try again. “ We are no longer together. In order to save his bondmate’s life he had to do something that I couldn’t make peace with. I couldn’t...stay with him. We’re both on New Vulcan but not...together.”

Something passed in the silence over the phone and Nyota found herself tearing up more than if her mother had said something. After a moment more, her mother cleared her throat and took a loud, long-suffering breath. “ I am sorry...to hear that.”

She added to hear that almost like an afterthought. Nyota had no doubt of her symphany but she highly doubted her mother was presently extending that towards what would have been her son-in-law.

“ Thank you.” Nyota answered, wiping at her face. Black streaks stained her hand as her eye liner transferred it with her tears.

“ Will you be alright, sweetheart? Are you alright?”

_ No, mummy. It’s been awful. I saw him and he looked so stinky serene and not at all miserable like I was...can be. I hoped he would have been miserable but instead he was being extra Spocky. And did I tell you? I’m working for his dad so it feels like only a matter of time before Spock sees me too and I wrestle with the urge to run into his arms or choke him until he’s as green as a zucchini. Not that I would. I couldn’t. I hate that I can’t. I still love him. _

“ I’m fine, mama.” she lied. It sounded so sincere that even Nyota had to question herself. She imagined her mama nodding to reassure herself. “ That is good. Please, call me... when you need.”

“ I will mama.” she promised because it didn’t feel right to lie about this. Their culture wasn’t one of sharing feelings, not like this. It was one of guidance from your elders as you weathered life’s cruel indifference. Her mother was trying to do this now for her. Ease her daughter’s grief with words of wisdom, given in love. Nyota would be a fool not to take it. “ Thank you mama.”

“ You make me so proud, Nyo.” her mother chimed. A cryptic _ I love you _ from a happy Kenyan mother. For a moment Nyota toyed with the thought of telling her mother more. She glanced of the chronometer and pursed her lips. She was late for dinner and barely had the energy to go let alone carry on with this particular topic. “ I’ll call you later.”

Nyota and her mother passed on their goodbyes and drew the call to a close.

When Nyota arrived at Sarek’s house she hadn’t been able to feign being unaffected. Her lackluster greeting at his reception had him watching her apprehensively. He met her at the door with a glass of wine and furrowed his brows at her polite sip.

She could tell that he planned to cook the meal after her arrival as he had last time. However he didn’t give the kitchen a second glance. “ Ms.Uhura, was I wrong in assuming that you favored this wine?”

Nyota snapped her gaze up towards his face, flustered in being caught off guard. “ Oh no. No, it’s delicious.” she murmured. She took another sip, heartier this time and feigned a smile.

Sarek tapped on the stem of his glass and gave a thoughtful nod. She met his gaze as best she could over the rim of her glass. His stare seemed to look right through her but he continued to play along using his fine-tuned skill of diplomacy. 

He leisurely sipped at his wine and rolled his lips to catch a stray drop. She tried her best to not follow the quick swipe of his tongue between them. Something in the way he moved his mouth mesmerized her. How could someone make drinking so sensual? Or better yet how could a Vulcan achieve the feat? So much about Sarek seemed so unintentionally attractive, that she had to credit him for all of Spock’s subtle swagger.

He cleared his throat and Nyota felt her face burn with guilt. “ May I be so bold in suggesting that you felt coerced into attending dinner this evening? I know the Vulcan day is long for a human constitution. The fact that I am your employer may have influenced your decision.”

Nyota shook her head and held her glass to the constricting sensation in her chest. She was ruining tonight. Sarek was trying to make her feel at ease. And there she was stuck between being in her head or looking at him in a way that had been increasing as of late. 

Her fingers squeaked across the glass as she readjusted her hands around it. “ No, I wasn’t feeling pressured. I love eating with you.”

When he stayed silent Nyota licked at her lips and elaborated. “ I will admit I am tired but I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to eat well and with you. You’re… I think, you have been so great. Which is strange to say about my boss but really, I enjoy doing this with you.”

Sarek gave a faint smile and placed his glass on a nearby end table. He plucked her glass free from her fingers and placed it beside his own. “ Follow me.”

She did so with growing anxiety into the space terrans would best relate to as the living room. He gestured towards a bench that looked like a backless couch and she took a seat in the middle of it. He sat to her right, still towering over her even with them both seated.

Nyota glanced down at her hands trying to ignore the feeling of his proximity. She missed the occasional hand to her arm, pat on her back. She hadn’t been kissed or hugged in what felt like ages. 

Being on a starship that had been heavily populated with humans had seen her emotional need for physical touch. That she had Spock on board had been doubly rewarding. It wasn’t until she had been here for a month that Nyota realized how starved she was for even the simplest gesture. Vulcans did not casually touch. It was their way. 

Tears blurred the image of her hands in her lap. A tentative sniff had three cascading down her cheeks. Not again she chided herself. How many times was she going to cry in front of this man?

She angrily wiped at her face and grunted. “ Sorry. This is so stupid.”

Sarek’s voice was soft with concern when he replied. “ Why are you upset?”

Nyota swallowed loudly and kept her face downcast. She was crying but she didn’t have to see his expression as he witnessed it. This was embarrassing enough as it was. “ I hadn’t told my mom about us, Spock and I, breaking up. I just...I didn’t think about it because I haven’t been trying to think about it.”

A sob tore from her throat and she felt the cushion below them dip as Sarek leaned closer. For a long moment she mentally willed him to touch her, brush her hair from her face, place one of his large hands at her back but he stayed still. 

She wiped at her face with the back of her hand and dared a quick glance at his face. Sarek looked down at her with an unreadable expression. His eyes darted from her cheeks to her runny nose, assessing and processing her emotions.

She shook her head and sighed raggedly. “ I’m sorry. This is stupid.”

“ You have mentioned that before. However, I do not believe that to be the case.”

Nyota furrowed her brows and grimaced sourly. “ It is. Why wouldn’t I be over this already? It’s been months. He’s clearly over it.” she huffed threw up her arm in a gesture to show he wasn’t there.

Sarek straightened and tilted his head thoughtfully. “ It is not ‘stupid’ that your ka’tra is still morning its loss. I know you may not believe in such things but our people would view your p’pli’lay as having wounded your-” He paused, looking for an appropriate, standard equivalent. “ Your soul. You were a whole that was then made into a part and the part has to reacclimate to being a whole on its own.”

That overwhelming ache wedged in her chest on the day of their unbonding thudded slowly against her ribs. It was almost as if it had heard Sarek’s proclamation.Nyota shook her head but stopped herself. She wasn’t even sure what exactly she was disagreeing with. Sarek, the unbonding or her own reaction?

He continued on, still soft and tender.“ You do not have to dwell on the matter, I agree. Discussing your distress, however, may help unburden you?”

She shook her head, eyes flooding again. Sarek sharpened his gaze and tilted his head. “ Why, Ms.Uhura?”

She blinked up towards the ceiling and sniffed at her running nose. Oh God I’m coming undone, she thought. She sniffed again and chanced speaking under the growing threat of breaking down into tears once more. “ I don’t want you to see me like this. I don’t want this. This isn’t me. And you being a Vulcan would just have me feeling embarrassed with this-” she waved her hands towards her face. “ emotional display.”

Sarek took a slow, silent breath in and held her gaze as best he could. “ As your friend, who happens to be Vulcan, I wish for you to be yourself with me, Ms. Uhura. In all respects and not just the instances in which you find yourself to be most presentable.”

Nyota bit her lip as he leaned closer. “ Allow us this Ms.Uhura. Let go of what is ailing you.”

She was silent for a full two minutes but she wouldn’t outwait of Vulcan. As minute three approached Nyota closed her eyes and yelled into the empty house.

“ I wasn’t enough! I was never enough.” Nyota’s hand rushed up to palm her face and she sighed heavily between them. “ God, more often than not I felt like shit mentioning it to him or even shitter when I kept it to myself.”

Sarek’s mouth, which was at first firmly set, now canted down in a grim manner. “ Explain.”

“ It was so hard, you know? Breaking the bond...choosing to do so.” she uttered in a near sob while chewing anxiously at her lip. “ To love him so much and to know he loved me…”

Sarek reminded quiet and allowed her to finish her thoughts. “Spock always had to be the one to save the day, save the ship, sacrifice himself but when it came to us, to me? Ha ha, well you know, the needs of the many, right? I was lost among the few or the one and was never thought about whenever there was a crisis to deal with.”

In the time that she had taken to say her last few sentences, Sarek had moved closer until their bodies were barely touching. Nyota made a quivering smile when she noticed and knew how much he must have calculated doing such a thing. She leaned into his slightly to reassure him and he leaned back. “ Selfish I know, for me to think that he would, as the first officer and a logic led Vulcan, ever put me first or show me some sort of sign of assurance that I meant something to him, that he would fight to come back to me but I don’t ever think he got that far…”

They were silent after that. They sat, legs pressed against the other, pondering her words and tracing The Watcher’s progress across the window’s sight of the horizon. The ache in her chest had burst in her confession. It felt raw and still burned when she drew deep breaths but the pressure of it on her mind and heart had eased. All that was left was a hollow and the warm pressed of Sarek thigh against her own. 

Nyota hadn’t realized she had closed her eyes until she opened them at the sound of his voice. “ For myself, I count you as the one standing above the many. I cannot excuse or explain my son’s behavior towards you. I can only speak for my own actions and intentions.”

Her heart skipped while her mind lurched to a stop. What? She didn’t want to but she had to see his face as he gave the answer to her question. “ What are your intentions, Sarek?”

“I intend to cherish you, Nyota Uhura. If you would have me, I do so as your mate. If you do not consent or find favor with me, then I will do so as a respectable admirer and fond friend.”

Her mind was racing now. Cherish her? Him? Sarek? Who had shown no interest in her outside of friendship actually wanted her as his mate? What the literal fuck? She studied his face and saw his piercing intensity of his stare. Every bit of him was trained on her and she felt that ache within her dulling in response. He wanted her. He was choosing her. As unlikely as it seemed, he found her, found them, agreeable. 

Nyota drew a shaky breath as she searched her own feelings on the matter. Her next question scared her. Not from what his answer might be but what it implied about her feelings towards him. “ And what if I consent?”

His dark eyes narrowed in amusement as he answered matter-of-fact. “Then I would ask to hold you.”

A small smile crossed her lips. “And after that?”

He cocked one brow upward and smiled back at her. “Ask to kiss you of course.”

“ Logical.” she nodded, teasing.

“ Indeed so.” he agreed. He glanced at her lips and back at her eyes. Was he thinking about it? Was he going to do it. Nyota cleared her throat when a few moments passed and pressed on.“ What then?”

“ Thank you.”

She looked nonplussed. She bit her lip and jerked her head towards him. “ Thank me? For what?”

Sarek straightened and gave a slight smile that did not meet his eyes. “ For giving this old male more than he could ever hope for and even endeavour to deserve. For making me the happiest I have been since the time I was the saddest.”

Thoughts of Vulcan slide silently between them and Nyota wiggled the loose thread on her skirt between her fingers and went back to chewing her lip. “That’s a lot of pressure.”

Sarek’s sly look returned as he stood up and gave her a blink that looked suspiciously like a wink. “None is intended.”


	12. The makings of a good morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no smut yet but that begins in the next chapter *wiggles eyebrows*

Sarek had been having a good morning. A great morning actually. 

There had been no early meetings to attend so he was able to take time for himself. He meditated, worked through his suus mahna practice and showered before making a satisfying first meal. He had imagined what Uhura might have been doing as he ate. He wondered if she showered in the morning as well or preferred the evening.

She always came in with a lovely fragrance to her person. That was rare for humans. They seemed unable to smell the strong salty scent that Vulcans readily detected and despised. Ms.Uhura on the other hand smelled of sweet, sappy wood and a spice he had yet to identify. The closest he found familiar was a terran dish that incorporated thin, crispy sheets of dough layered with bits of nuts and honey. He had been served the dish but the name of it had not been given. He ate it with gusto and wished now as he knew what it had been.

Perhaps if he were to describe it, Ms.Uhura would know what he had been served? As he left his home and made his way towards the embassy he wondered if she did know the dessert and that he, himself enjoyed eating it, would she then prepare such a delicacy for him? He kept this thought and many others concerning Ms.Uhura on his mind as he made his way through the parking garage and up the stairs. He had just made it onto the first floor and was approaching his office when he noticed two things.

One was that Ms. Uhura was already in and fast at work and the other thing- was not a pleasant surprise. This other development alarmed the older Vulcan to say the least.

Sarek stopped in front of his secretary’s desk and leaned to the side to better view Ms.Uhura’s. From there he got a good view of a lavender bunch of orchids brimming over a tall crystal-cut vase. What in the name of his foremothers was this?

He eyed the large arrangement venomously. The whole thing reeked of flirtation. Modest and elegant bouquet, certainly but the rare blossoms sitting on top of her desk may as well have been a dozen red roses. 

She could have bought and brought them in herself but Ms.Uhura was a practical woman. The amount and type of flowers spilling out from the vase would have easily eaten half of her paycheck’s credits. And in all his years Sarek had never seen a human woman buy such an arrangement for themselves. They were given as gifts; beautiful, scented gifts that spoke of someone’s affections. 

Sarek kept his voice neutral despite his growing irritation. “ What exactly is that?” he asked his secretary.

T’Prel leaned forward, spotted the offense in question and answered him simply. “ A bouquet of Andorian orchids.”

Sarek pursed his lips. Yes of course they were. That wasn’t truly what he was inquiring to know and yet the faux paux laid with him for being so simple with his query. He drew a breath and tried again. “ Yes but what are they doing in my office?”

What he  _ didn’t  _ say was what were they doing on  _ Ms.Uhura’s _ desk but he wished to stay in control of himself. The longer he lingered on the thought more tension he felt lining his face. 

T’Prel’s lashes fluttered as she considered his question. “ Ambassador Golag had them delivered to Ms.Uhura this morning.”

He must have made a sound because the Vulcaness gave a slight bow of her head. “ My apologies, Ambassador. I was unaware that you would have preferred their location to be elsewhere in the embassy.”

“ No apologies are necessary. There is no offense taken.”  _ -with you _ he thought curtly. He was plenty offended but he would not take his ire out on his staff. T’Prel gave a slight nod and went back to typing on her comm console, leaving him alone to brood.

Sarek turned back towards his office and clenched his teeth. That blue salacious, gawking gadfly. What an insufferable, musclemongering leech. That grinning imbecile was courting his human  **right** in front of him! In their place of work no less. 

Sarek’s jaw worked back and forth in frustration as he forced himself to take a deep breath. On the second breath he allowed himself a quick flare of his nostrils. If only he had arrived earlier. He could have just thrown the accursed flowers out or at least had them moved and displayed elsewhere in the embassy. 

But no, he gave himself a lazy morning and this is what the diversion had earned him. The female he was courting had been bestowed with flowers by some young upstart. Not only would he rebuke it, Sarek wouldn’t be out done. 

He took one last breath to center himself and walked into his office. Nyota spotted him as he passed through the doorway and paused typing. “ Good morning, Sarek.”

Sarek paused and nodded gently towards her. “ Good morning, Ms.Uhura.”

She was beaming at him, her face bright with sincerity. He wondered for a moment if her smile was meant for him or an aftereffect of receiving the flowers. He cocked his gaze to the right and glared at them.  _ Tools of thievery _ he thought, moving away from her desk.

He settled in his chair and quickly drew up her dossier on his comm console. He took surreptitious glances at her as he reviewed her Starfleet files. Though he could easily recall everything that he had previously seen but he hadn’t studied the file with the critical eye of someone aiming to woo her.

Sarek ran his tongue over his teeth as he came up with very little useful information. Weight and height were one thing but where was a column listing a favorite color or food item? Wasn’t that the sort of thing humans enjoyed logging? How many times had he been besieged with the phrase ‘ That’s my favorite’ by some human delegate or liaison during a dinner or banquet?

He frowned at his computer and cut his eyes towards Uhura merrily typing away at her desk. He truly hated those flowers. He could smell their saccharine sweet scent filling the air with its perfume. As cold as Andorian was its flora had evolved to produce fragrances and pollen enough to withstand the cold and be detected for miles. 

In the mild heat of his office the flowers’ smell had all but taken over. He was surprised he had noticed the scent in the hallway. He halfheartedly wished he was allergic to them so he could have requested Ms.Uhura relocated them. Preferably outside were they would quickly wilt and die.

The thought of such trivial and senseless destruction elicited a flicker of shame in his throat. It had been years, possibly decades since he had last experienced jealousy to this degree. He remembered the icy hot scald along his nerves whenever he noticed a male lingering too long in Amanda’s presence. Once bonded the feeling quietly gave way to a contented possessiveness. Males could stare all they liked; she was his. Now with Ms.Uhura, the feeling had resurfaced to a near deafening roar. Her charm and beauty filled every room like the scent of those foul flowers, attracting every male for miles.

It was no matter. He knew how he felt about her and had a growing confidence in how she felt about him. He would earn this female’s affection as best he could. And he didn’t mind being creative about it.

“ Ms.Uhura. That is a lovely blouse you are wearing today. The color becomes you.”

She stopped typing and looked from him to her shirt. A shy smile spread across her face as she fiddled with one of its buttons. “ Oh this? I got it because it fit well on me. Do you really like the color?”

He nodded and steepled his fingers in front of him. “ Very much so. It’s quite complimentary to your skin. I imagine gold would be your favorite for how well it suits you.”

Her smile widened and she shrugged with a small chuckle. “ Maybe it will be now. I like purple the most but maybe I’ll change it.”

Noted. “ Hmm purple would do nicely on you as well.” he said, logging in the fact. He drew up the page of the embassy's favorite florist and did a quick, filtered search by purple flowers. He chose an arrangement that had a variety of hues ranging from lilac to violet. It was mostly composed of Deltan lilies and a cloud of Betaziod daisies. On a lark he added one golden colored poppy to be display in the middle. He placed his thumb on the console for payment and accepted the charges. A request for a delivery was flashed at the top of the page and he was met with another problem. 

He looked up from his screen and quickly concocted another phishing question. “ With the upcoming conference we’re hosting, I don’t believe we will have much more to do.”

He watched her nod and continue to type on her computer. “ I think so. I still want to double check the catering menu. Sometimes the translations don’t come out smoothly.”

“ Would that keep you from ending on time?” Nyota looked up and shook her head. “ No. It’s about 10-20 minutes per menu for each language. Fortunately, it's a small soiree and not something huge like the Babel conference.”

He nodded and tentatively typed a time 30 minutes after they typically left the office. “ Would you care for a ride home? I’m headed in that direction for groceries.”

Uhura grinned as she continued to type. “ That would be great! I might even join you at the store. I need to grab some odds and ends. You’ve spoiled me with cooking all the time. My pantry is nearly empty.”

He smiled for her and nodded. “ I would enjoy the company.” he said. He changed the time for an hour after they would leave and completed his flower order. 

Next on his list to woo Uhura was food. Let it never be said that females hate food. If anything Sarek had gained more attention from baked goods than he ever had form flowers. 

He looked towards Uhura and puzzled over how to tease out the answer for her favorite food. His lips quirked when he thought of a line of questioning. “ Ms.Uhura, I was thinking, perhaps we should have terran food present in our catering. We are affiliated with Earth after all. Maybe just a dessert?”

He could see her weighing the idea. “ That would potential interest Vulcans that want to visit Earth. With it being something small as dessert and not a whole entree might be a good introduction to Terran food.”

He tilted his head and slowly nodded in agreement. “ Few have problems with sugar. As our expert Terrran in residence what might you suggest we serve?”

She hummed and worried over her lip as she thought. Sarek brought up a new page as she did ready to order whatever dish she proffered.

She rubbed her chin with her forefinger and licked her lips. “ Cake and pie would be my obvious choices as an example of terran food but I wonder. Spock really enjoys diary and I would if that was a quirk of his or true for most Vulcans.”

Sarek raised a single eyebrow and looked at her thoughtfully. She had made note of Spock’s favorite confections. Of course she would have. He cleared his throat and rephrased his question. “ What’s your favorite dessert to eat? Maybe we could go with that?”

She tapped her finger on her chin and gave him an impish smile. “ I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours?”

He put his arms on his desk and leaned forward. “ Of course. Though, there is the problem of not knowing the name.”

She laughed and turned away from her console. “ Maybe I could help?”

“ I would appreciate it.” he said.

“ What was it made of?”

He went on to describe the dish and she stopped him mid-sentence with a series of ohs. “ That’s Baklava! It is good. You want to serve it at the conference?”

He bobbed his head towards one shoulder then the other in a Vulcan shrug and smiled to himself. “ I want to eat it again more than anything.”

He hoped she didn’t see his eyes lingering on her legs peeking out beneath her desk. He wanted that dessert but in a form he had yet to sample. His mouth watered at the thought of how closely she might resemble the taste. “ What about  _ your _ favorite?”

She nibbled her lip and hide her face. “ I’m crazy for chocolate. I try not to eat it here and look like a lush but it’s so nice with coffee or wine or water or anything.”

“ I agree. It’s adaptable.” he said, bringing up the finest rated chocolatier on New Vulcan. Chocolate was a legal but controlled substance on here. Business treated the cocoa confections as a sommelier treated wine. He ordered a 1/2lb sampler to be delivered by this evening and closed out of the order pages. 

There was only one thing left to do to make sure his position was secured. He softened his gaze so he wasn’t glaring and zeroed in on the flowers. “ I see that you received an arrangement of flowers today.”

She smiled and nodded and he felt his heart lurch. “ Yeah. Ambassador Golag really outdid himself with these.” she delicately fingered a petal and waved at the whole display. “ They’re gorgeous. The whole bouquet is really something.”

“ Indeed it is.” he said. He forced a slow breath and continued once the threat to pitch the vase out the window had passed. “ Have you written a thankful note yet?”

She shook her head with a bashful look. “ Oh! I completely forgot! I came in saw the flowers but got wrapped up with the menus and answering mail.”

_ Perfect _ . Sarek smiled a tad too broadly and nodded. “ Not to worry. I would like to write it. Any gesture of gratitude and appreciation towards you I want to see rewarded. Allow me.”

He extended his hand for the card and she got up and gave it to him. “ That’s really nice of you. Thank you. I wouldn’t know what to say to him that wouldn’t set his expectations too high or that wouldn’t say thankful.”

Sarek’s smile tightened as he read the card and lowered it to the desk. “ I have something in mind.”

She thanked him again and went back to her desk. He watched her walk away, enjoying the quick view of her body in motion before turning his attention to replying to the card. 

He hadn’t been lying when he had some words in mind to tell the Andorian but what he couldn’t do was say them and start a breakdown in Vulcan/Andorian diplomacy. To handle Golag he would have to channel the Vulcan’s renowned reservation. Nothing killed candor like a lukewarm reception. And with him writing the thank you rather than Uhura he would make sure the note came off like tepid water.

He brought up his comm missive program and addressed a note to the junior ambassador. He wrote and edited the note until he felt he had set the tone just right. He read it again and began to smile.

_ “ Dear Mr.Golag. Thank you so much for the generous gift of flowers. We here at the Vulcan embassy have relished seeing such rare beauty on display here in our hallowed halls. I will be sure to make mention that Andoria is a botanical wonder few would want to miss. Ambassador Sarek.” _

Not mention of Uhura, not a word of her personal enjoyment and unspoken rebuff that she would not be visiting the giant icy sphere anytime soon. He sent it off and accepted a cup of tea Nyota had just made. He gave her his best smile and took a sip of the brew.

She was blowing at her own and watching him above the rim of the mug. “ You look like you’re having a good morning.”

His brow lifted and he quirked his lips into a knowing smile. “ A splendid one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sarek is the perfect Petty-patty-daddy. No one better flirt with Uhura because they'll just be wasting their money and their time. And Sarek has more tricks up his sleeve that you have just got to see


	13. Discomfort and dessert

Nyota hadn’t realized how much she took for granted. Being on the Enterprise she had felt a tremendous level of gratitude just to serve on her crew. There was little that she missed with discoveries distracting them every other day. Fresh air, weather and sunshine were always treasured any time she was aboard.

However, Nyota had been busy with the vocation of building bridges of communication. She was apart of each first contact, witnessing the fragile birth of learned commonalities and language. She brought people together.

She still had that honor here at New Vulcan’s embassy as its chief translator and interpreter. Now she had the task of keeping people together once the honeymoon period of meeting had worn off and business was ready to be made.

It was especially difficult since she was repeating Sarek’s mediations. It actually grew easier as she was able to better since what meanings he wished to convey. The more she got to know the seasoned Vulcan the clearer her message between parties became. He was pleased with her efforts and she was proud to be of such serve. He had even teased that she was superseding her human handicap when it came to Vulcan speech. She gave him a flourish of color language in his native tongue and left him smiling after her.

Diplomacy felt oddly rewarding in a way it had never felt in the fleet. They never got to stay to see the work done. Their mission was to explore new worlds, not studying the full breadth of them. 

But there was one thing she really beginning to despise. The gravity. 

New Vulcan was quite identical to the lost Vulcan in make and model. While it was far larger the heat was still stifling and the gravity still weighed on her. She wore flats with arch support and had been doing skeletal therapy to remain planetside without weakening under the pressure but she remained tired and achy.

Some of it might have been restless nights adjusting to sleeping alone. The occasions she chose to wear heels didn’t help either. Vulcans were tall and she didn’t care for being towered over. So tonight’s dinner at the embassy clearly called for a good pair of heels.

She was even sensible about it, choosing pumps over stilettos and ones with only a 31/2” heel. Problem was she couldn’t sit or stand for long. She was up and walking to wherever her services were needed. After more than four hours of floating around the room she was limping.

Sarek noticed immediately and she didn’t protest when he said he would drive her home. He parked on the street and helped her out of the car. He guided her towards the lift and let Nyota lean her weight on his arm.

She invited him in since he had never once been over and he quietly stepped in after her. He removed his outer robe and cast it over his shoulder as Nyota made her way into the small kitchenette area and collapsed onto a nearby chair. She threw her head back with a groan and sighed. She was relieved to no longer be standing but her feet throbbed in time with her heartbeat. “ Why?”

Sarek had been walking around the room, studying her apartment. His eyes were lingering on the flowers he had delivered sitting on the tea table in the living room when she uttered her question of misery. He turned his head away from the flowers and looked at her slumped form in the chair. “ What is the matter?”

She straightened in her seat and groaned again. “ It’s the gravity. That combined with these heels, I feel like my feet are about to fall off.”

Sarek tilted his head to observe her more closely. Her skirt suddenly felt much too short as she glanced down at the generous portion of her thighs it exposed. She coughed and pulled at the hem, silently willing it to be longer. The movement had her feet pushing down into her shoes and with it a sharp, electric stab of pain along her arches. 

Maybe he caught the strain in her face as she winced or he felt a sense of obligation. Whatever it was, Sarek put his outer robe across the back of the other chair and slowly made his way over. He paused in front of her and stayed quiet until she met his gaze. “ I could be of assistance if your feet trouble you, Ms. Uhura.”

She pursed her lips, lost with what to say. Was Sarek offering to massage her feet? Did he know that was one of her favorite things? She looked at him skeptically. 

He looked earnest enough. For one he wasn’t leering at her. He also didn’t have a raging boner like Spock would have had if he had offered. But still there was something between them. She just felt like she should be careful after his declaration to be hers. Beautiful flowers and the best chocolates she had ever tasted soon followed. This could just be another in a long line of gifts or it could just be him being helpful.

If Sarek was wooing her, then this male was a top student at his charm school. Nyota pulled at her skirt again and smiled at him gently. “ I don’t want to impose.”

“ There’s no imposing when I freely offered. However, if you do not wish for me to-”

_ Oh I wish for you to alright _ she thought wryly and held up her hands to stop him. “ No. A footrub would be lovely, thanks. Let me just get my shoes off-”

“ -I’ll do so.” he said. “ Sit back.” He was already crouching down before she could protest and rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. Nyota rolled her lips over her tongue as Sarek knelt on one knee and pulled the chair close with one hand. “ Which foot troubles you the most, Ms.Uhura?”

She began to raise her left and he caught it by the ankle. “ This one?”

She nodded and he hummed thoughtfully. “ I see. Well then let me get started.”

He moved his hand to her calf and gently lifted her leg. She stiffened reflexively and he made a chiding noise. “ Relax, please.”

“ Sorry.” she said mildly. He looked at her from under his brow and she felt a throb tingle down into her belly. “Relax. Let me take care of you.”

Nyota did so and watched nervously as he removed the shoe with his free hand and placed it off to the side. He placed the hand to the back of her knee and massaged her foot with the other. She gripped the chair and moaned. The caress of his thumb across her sole could be felt from the inside out. Tension melted from her muscles like a pad butter on freshly toasted bread. It was amazing.“ Oh wow…wow.”

She slouched against the chair and groaned again when he ran his thumb over her again, this time along the arch. “ You feel quite painful here.”

She nodded with a pathetic whimper and and squirmed. His touch wasn’t sexual but it was going places. “ I really took the Enterprise’s systems for granted.”

“ New Vulcan is hard on the human constitution. You must take care of yourself. Perhaps I’m working you too hard?”

“ No, no.” she said. “ I enjoy work. I just feel strained from the planet that’s all. Oh wow. You’re good at this.”

He smiled and took off her other shoe. “ Thank you. You’re finally relaxing.”

Sarek rubbed at her heel and Nyota nearly slid out of her chair it felt so good. If he kept it up she might just have to kidnap him for his foot massage skills. There was no way she wanted to give this male up and not have his magic hands at her beck and call.

  
  


He rubbed at her foot a bit more and paused. “ How far does the pain extend?” he asked.

Sarek held her leg and looked up from her foot for an answer. When Nyota met his gaze he looked a little less composed. His eyes were dark and his breathing was heavier. Good heavens.

Nyota licked her lips and shifted in her seat. Sarek's gaze flicked down her body before flitting back to her face. Nyota shouldn’t indulge in tempting either of them this way but something about the way he was looking at her and touching her made her feel reckless. She wanted more and knew she would regret passing on the opportunity. “ I have some a bit farther up.”

Sarek took a deep breath and nodded at her as if that made sense. “ Ah. Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll see to all of your discomfort.”

“ I don’t mind.” she murmured. She swallowed loudly as Sarek hooked her left leg over his shoulder and positioned the right around his side. His hands went to her thighs and resumed the hypnotic, circular motion of his fingers. Their slow but steady approach towards her underwear had Nyota fidgeting in her chair.

Sarek’s face remained placid with the exception of the bright blush growing across his face. His eyes were trained under the hem of her skirt and she knew what he was blushing about. A momentary chill of shyness rattled her nerves and she wanted to cover herself up for fear of what he might think of her. Nyota moved her hand to pull at her skirt when he stopped her.

His voice was rough and heavy when he spoke. “ Don’t move it. Keep it where it is.”

Nyota swallowed as his hands trailed higher and brushed at her underwear. She stifled a moan but whined when his thumb passed roughly over her cloth covered clit. He looked up at her, looking even more intense than he had previously. “ I heard you moan. Are you uncomfortable here as well?”

Nyota saw that he was giving her chance to stop this. He was waiting for her answer with his fingers splayed over her inner thigh. As much as they probably shouldn’t she knew her answer. “ Yes, I’m uncomfortable. If you massage here too that would be appreciated ...”

His stare grew hot and he worked his fingers under the seam of her panties. He used one hand to easily lift her clear of the chair’s seat and quickly peeled her underwear down and off her legs. He rearranged her legs back to his liking and put his hands back over her sex. 

One finger slowly traced along the outside of her folds, circling closer and closer after each revolution. Nyota closed her eyes as Sarek added another finger and leaned back. She gave herself up to exploration, clutching the seat of the chair as Sarek’s fingers caressed and mapped her folds.

Her eyes snapped open with a surprised startle when she felt his fingers shallowly dip inside her. She looked down to see Sarek bring the damp fingers up to his mouth and taste them. His eyes flutter closed and he gave a deep contented groan. 

He muttered something like he knew it and leaned his head between her thighs. Nyota yelped and held the chair tight as she felt his lips brush over her. They were soft and surprisingly full. He kissed at her and snaked his tongue out to lick. 

Nyota’s hips jerked and she stuttered into the air. “ Oh...G-g-god, yes!”

Sarek tilted his chin and licked again. The new alignment bumped his nose against her clit and had his tongue rushing over the rapidly dampening center. She moaned his name and she felt his hands pull at her.

All pretenses of giving a massage where thrown to the wind as Sarek ate her in earnest. Nyota bit her lip and moaned between them into the air. There was no way that Sarek was this good. There was-

“ Oh!” She clutched the sides of the chair as he lifted her closer to his face. With a butt cheek in each hand Sarek easily held her aloft. His mouth latched itself over the small nether lips and teased the petals with a flick of his tongue. 

An intoxicating urge to touch him stole over her. From the unbridled strength of it Nyoat had thought the desire didn’t originate with her. After another toe-curling lick around her clit, Nyota gathered enough courage to rest a hand on his head. He had more than earned it after all and she would be lying if she said she didn’t want to. She tentatively reached out and ran her nails lightly over his scalp before settling her palm over his hair.

Sarek’s approval was apparent as a deep groan bubbled up his throat. The vibration thrummed against her and she soon realized he was purring. She startled as his hands pulled her body further down the chair and angled her hips higher for his mouth’s ministrations. 

Her thighs rested lewdly over his shoulders, held in place by his large clasped around them. Sarek looked away from her mons and stared at her hungrily. When she met his gaze he dipped his tongue between her folds and drew it back out over her clit. 

She wailed and jerked down on his shoulders only to have his grip on her clamp down tighter. Unable to buck her hips, Nyota settled for fisting her fingers in his hair. Knotting the strands between her fingers, Nyota watched as Sarek continued his debauched sampling.

Her feet pressed against his back as the pressure in and around her clit mounted. Feeling her sway into his attentions, Sarek gave her hard nub a long, flat-tongued lick. Nyota huffed into the air and curled her toes into the fabric of his tunic. God he was driving her out of her mind!

As Sarek continued to lick her soul free from her body, Nyota fought not to embarrass herself in front of him. And while her mind was willing but the flesh, tortured thing that it was, was weak. His mouth was unrelenting in its task to drag her closely to her impending orgasm.

She was on the edge of babbling nonsense and calling him names like daddy and baby. She hadn’t even called Spock a nick name. Something about the exacting nature of how he touched her was dissolving her reservations. 

Her clothes felt as constricting as his hands as her hardened nipples pressed against the padding of her bra. Her hand moved to the back of his head as Sarek tilted it and wedged his tongue further inside her. He wiggled and chuckled as she squealed and pawed against him.

His tongue slinked only to be replaced by his mouth. He drew his lips together and circled around her clit. With one hand remaining on her rear, the Vulcan plunged two long fingers of the other inside her center. 

Nyota froze with a hiccuped sound of surprise as the fingers curled and flexed against her walls. His lips began a gentle suction over her clit as he pushed and pulled his curling fingers. She whimpered his name and made a pathetic attempt to hold him at bay with her legs but there was no running from any of it.

Three ‘come hither’ motions later Nyota sobbed fitfully and came. Her hands flew away from the chair and went back to clutching at his head as wetness rushed from her onto his face. Sarek made a throaty little grunt of satisfaction and nuzzled closer.

Nyota laid boneless against the chair, struggling to regain her breath as he licked wetness at her thighs. 

Holy hell. What he did to her was unnatural. In all of five minutes Sarek had strung her out and had her fighting to breathe she had come so hard. Her clit was still buzzing from the force of it, very eager for another orgasm though she didn’t think the rest of her body had the stamina for it.

She watched as he ran his pale green tongue across his lips and smack them apart. He shouldn’t look so upright and wholesome after eating her the way he did. He gave her a sleepy look and smiled at her. “ You look tired Ms.Uhura.”

“ Must be from all the tension relief.” she murmured.

He smiled and cupped her face. His thumb smelled of her as he ran it over her lips. “ Let me escort you to bed.” he said. He didn’t ask and she didn’t protest.

She grunted by way of an answer and he rose up off of the floor. He picked her up and carried her towards the short hallway. He glanced into the bathroom at the left and went over towards the right where the only other room was. He laid her gently onto the bed and began to strip her of her clothing.

She hummed and allowed herself to be moved this way and that until she was bare. He stood for a moment looking down at her limp form, half-dazing on the bed. She looked up and caught the feral glint in his eye before he could hide it away. 

He surprised her by turning towards her dresser and pulling out her nightgown. He handed it to her and took it back to place it over her head himself. She obliged and pushed her arms through and collapsed back onto the bed.

Sarek’s handsome face looked sharp in the dim light of the room. She could tell from his silent stare he was thinking of staying and possibly doing more but he was conflicted. He caressed her cheek and smiled at her. “ Do your feet feel better, Ms.Uhura?”

She chuckled and nodded her head. She had forgotten all about them the moment she felt his lips. “ Mmhmm, thank you.”

His fingers lingered on her face and she took a hold of his wrist. “ You want to stay.”

He nodded. “ I do. Very much but I can’t. You need to sleep.”

She released his hand and knotted their fingers together. “ There’s plenty of room for you.”

Sarek smiled and tapped his forefinger against the back of her hand. He bent over the bed and kissed her forehead. “ That’s not the issue, my dear human. You're tired and need to sleep. If I were to stay, I guarantee you we won’t be sleeping.”

Sarek kissed her again and whispered against her cheek. “ Thank you for dessert. You were delicious. I look forward to second helpings.” 

Nyota blushed as he stood up straight and headed towards the door. “ I’ll see you first thing tomorrow morning. Good night Ms.Uhura.”


	14. It's not what you think

Touching Nyota had alleviated nothing. If anything Sarek was even more lost to his affections for her. She was unbelievably desirable; the epitome of everything he wanted.

She had been so responsive to his handling. Her desire for his touch inflamed him. Her felt her body calling for his as he caressed her skin and she fondled his hair. The plaintive sound of her voice went straight to his cock and had him teetering on the edge of control. 

And the way she had melted across his tongue and called his name when she came had him primed to repeat it. He had been ready to but it was clear that she was exhausted. 

He had wrestled with the urge not ravaging her once he got her in bed and then again when she invited him to stay. If he had and if she had let him, he would have had his way with her, as long and as many times as she allowed. With that in mind Sarek knew he couldn’t have remained in her home. 

He didn’t want her lack of sleep and subsequent poor work performance on his conscience. Neither did he want to deal with having to go into work the next day. He wanted Nyota alone, unburdened and at his complete disposal.

So it came as no surprise when the opportunity to kiss her presented itself that he did so without hesitation. He had been remiss in kissing her other lips that evening, that he had fantasized about it as he relieved the ache in his loins once he arrived home. 

He imagined all the ways he could kiss her as they worked that morning in the office. The urge lingered in his thoughts as he hosted scheduled meetings between warring clans and pompous figureheads. The sweet, supple human plagued his mind all day but the time was fast approaching when he could finally acquire the cure.

He would take her home, cook for her, have the evening run late until it made logical sense to stay the night. And after she aquisenced he would kiss her - thoroughly and then some. 

The plot to secure her in his home had cheered Sarek all day. Each passing hour had him staring over at her work station. He supposed it was a look he gave her that had her blanching in response. 

An hour before operations ended for the day he finally asked or rather told her. “ Come over tonight.”

Her only response was a timid nod before she turned back to her console. He narrowed his eyes and studied her. “ Is something wrong?”

She shook her head but didn’t meet his gaze. A thought for a moment and stood up from his desk. Nyota kept her eyes glued to the screen until he came to her side and knelt down. She blew out an exasperated breath and looked at him. “ What?”

He smiled and glanced down at her fidgeting hands. “ One thing about abstaining from the practice of lying is you get very sensitive to the truth.”

He placed a hand near hers and opened his palm. “ I want to have space for the truth between us. If you don’t feel comfortable or know what it is you’re feeling right now that is perfectly fine. Just don’t let too much time pass that discomfort turns into pain and that pain turns into resentment.”

A smile finally came over her face as she batted her eyes at him. “ You say it like you have experience?”

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head with a sly expression. “ With all the knowledge I gained as a youth, I remained very foolish for a number years. Some would say it’s less age-related and more to do with my disposition.”

She laughed and smiled at him. She looked him over and bit her lip. The scent of her budding arousal tickled his nose. Sarek bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from licking his lips. He was eager to taste her again but something was holding her back. 

She had been reserved with him today. Times where she would typically flirt with him she held herself back. It hadn’t gone over well with him hence their current conversation. He couldn’t very well eat her if she was tense like this. He extracted two fingers from where they had them intertwine and pressed them gently over her the back of her hand. He felt her flush in response but she made no moves to reciprocate his kiss.

Sarek moved his other hand to cup hers between his and looked at her earnestly. “ Would you tell me what troubles you, pretty one?”

He watched as she bit her lip and exhaled through her nose. “ I feel conflicted.”

Sarek’s heart stuttered in his side and he struggled to maintain his calm facade. Had he misstepped yesterday evening? Had he miscalculated his courting? He made a few rapid blinks as he recalled his time together. Not since he had sought to make her his had he done something dismissive. “ Conflicted?” he asked.

She shrugged as if she weren’t sure and continued. “ I like you...a lot and I’ve seriously thought of being with you.”

His stomach leapt in his throat before his logic tempered the sensation. She said think as a preface. There was a but coming. “ And?”

Nyota took a deep breath and sighed. “ I worry about the optics - and my morals. How does it look for me to get involved with a Vulcan male, that was my superior, fall in love and be in a relationship for years and then fall for his father, who also happens to be my superior?”

Sarek’s brows furrowed as he considered it. In his quest to earn her he hadn’t pondered the issue of how she might view it. It was his practice not to suppose or assume anything. Since it was clear that she fancied him and allowed his perusal Sarek had seen no reason to fret over the context of their relationship. If she chose him, he would more than gladly have her. 

Sarek chanced brushing a finger across her wrist and made a happy chuff when she moved her hand to interlace their fingers. “ When it comes to the S’chon T’gai men, I believe that the human women have the superior status. I could tell you what to do but I very well know that you have the upperhand.”

Nyota shot him a look and shook her head. “ You both drive me crazy but I can’t help but love- I mean I really like you.”

He watched her grow more flustered and try to pull away from him. “Oh God, I’m such a mess.”

Sarek used his grip on her hand to stop her and turned her chair to face him. He leaned against her and laid his head on her stomach. He felt the muscles along her stomach flinch as he nuzzled his nose at the fabric around her navel and pressed against her. “ Beautiful is what you are.”

Her hands went to his shoulders and she gently pushed at them. “ Sarek!” she hissed quietly. “ Someone could see us. T’Prel is at her desk.”

He playfully nipped at her side and gaze up with a devilish grin to his face. “ You love me, pretty one?”

Nyota blanched and then sputtered. “ I didn’t say that. I was just thinking aloud!” 

She looked around the office, worried that someone would see and yipped in surprised when he mouthed at the underside of her breast. “ Sarek! Stop it. You’re acting like a horny teenager!”

He was smiling at her, his head back in her skirted lap. “ I am acting like a Vulcan. In love.”

Nyota groaned and glared down at him. “ Don’t you wrap your arms around me like that. And stop grabbing my ass.”

He blinked at her but didn’t move the offending body parts. “ I am beginning to doubt your love for me, Ms.Uhura. I’m starting to think that it was our time alone in your dining room that you loved.”

Her neck was flush now and her breathing was ragged. She was angry, aroused and no longer holding back. “ That’s a low blow, Sarek.”

One of his hands slid down her legs and pushed along the inside of her thigh. She clamped her legs shut, caging his wandering hand between them and he huffed in irritation. He looked back and her with a raised eyebrow. “ Is it low because it’s a lie or low because it’s true?”

She nibbled her lip and shrugged her shoulders. “ I don’t know.” 

Sarek blinked at her and pulled his hand free of her legs. “ You know. You’re just don’t want to know.”

He stood and brushed at his slacks. He caught Nyota looking from his face to the erection pressed against them. “ See something of interest, Ms.Uhura?”

Her eyes flutter and she shook her head. “ I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He gave her a lopsided smile and adjusted himself in his trousers. “ There is a lot you don’t know this morning.”

He went back to his desk and settled back into his work. He could feel her eyes on him as he took comm calls and answered urgent missives but kept his eyes to himself. He was infatuated with her and she was confused. He had started off well enough but went off course when she mentioned love. He tried to be reasonable but he didn’t want to be. He wanted to be reckless and hedonistic. He wanted to kiss and taste her mouth. He wanted her over his desk. But she wanted time to analyze and he needed to know he wasn’t pressing her into something she didn’t feel comfortable doing, mainly being with him.

It took all the meditative preserves he could muster to keep himself at by but she eventually spoke again once she saw T’Prel get up and leave her desk for second meal. “ Sarek. I’m not trying to scare you off. I just don’t want people to misunderstand the situation.”

He glanced at her and then to T’Prel still empty desk. “ What is the situation and what would be misunderstood?” 

Nyota clasped her hands on her desk with a look Sarek could only describe as her war face. He turned in his chair to face her all the way and she saw her face harden. “ I would think people would wonder if I had some sort of mental issues or unusual kinks.”

“ Kinks?” he asked. Now this interested him. He wouldn’t press details. She was trying to work her way through her feelings. However he planned to thoroughly gather details later, hopefully with a few physical demonstrations. 

“ Yes. Like if I had a thing for Vulcans or an alien fetish in general.”

“ And do you?” he asked. She thought for a moment and shook her head. “ I’ve worked around aliens and Vulcans alike for years and never entertained thoughts of dating them, serious or otherwise outside of you and Spock.”

He nodded and played with a stylus lying across his desk. “ And the matter of mental issues?”

Nyota averted her gaze but maintained her composure. “ We have a large age gap between us. It doesn’t bother me, it’s just a part of who you are. I don’t know how it is for Vulcans but such things are still taboo for humans. Some would characterized my being with you as having ‘ daddy issues’. That I’m projecting a need to have a relationship with an older male in lieu of a healthy relationship with my baba.”

“ And do you have any issues with your father?”

“ No.” she snapped angrily. His mouth quirked and he found himself suppressing a smile. She was quite cute in her anger. He wouldn’t tell her. After years of being married he knew better. “ Well then. That settles things.”

“ It does?” she said, warily. He nodded and sat back in his chair, rolling the stylus between his thumb and forefinger. “ You don’t have any aforementioned problems and I could care less what people think of me.”

“ But-” she began but he held up a hand. “ I understand that you may have some reservations but I wanted to let you know where I stood. Some people admire me, others would wish me ill but most respect me. None of this changes who I am or the feelings I have for you. You are-”

He paused to gather himself and stared back at her. “ I find you magnificent. I told you once, Ms. Uhura that I would court you and I’ve been savoring every minute of it. And just as I said before I will not court you for myself if you don’t welcome it. If you wish for me to stop I will.”

Nyota’s eyes darted back and forth across her desk as she processed everything he said. When she looked up the hard edge had left her gaze. “ What if you met someone else and-”

“ I want you, Nyota. No one else. Say what you will about me, but I absolutely adore you. I thought I was infatuated but recent events led me to the conclusion that my feelings for you are intense but not short lived.”

Her eyes widened at the mention of her name and teared up as he said the rest. “ Sarek. I-”

“ Ambassador, sir?”

They jerked their heads and saw T’Prel standing in the doorway. A comm was in her hand and the small tote containing her lunch hung off one shoulder. She didn’t look scandalized so he figured she hadn’t heard her declaration but he never could be sure of what his secretary thought. “ Yes, T’Prel.”

“ I received a message from officials out in Gol. A tour group of Terran humans got lost in the Forge. A rescue effort is underway. They have delayed reaching out to their emergency contacts and look to you for guidance.”

Nyota looked at him and he momentarily caught her gaze. If they were bonded he could easily push the idea that they would speak more on matter later but he could only hope his minute body language conveyed the message. “ Ms. Uhura if you would come with me. I believe your services will be needed once we find our lost guests. T’Prel, transfer the call to my personal comm and I’ll speak with them as I make my way over.”

T’Prel was already busy speaking with the person on the other line and tapping buttons on the screen. She signaled him with a nod and his comm buzzed inside his pocket. He fished it out and gestured for Uhura and T’Prel to follow him out to the garage.

They piled into his flitter and raced over to Gol. The embassy wasn’t far from the border shaping the city of Shi’kahr away from Gol but the Forge was a ways away. As soon as they arrived he held an emergency meeting between the Golian officials and the custodians in charge of the Forge.


	15. A counting game

Once he was brought up to speed, he foisted the Forge guardians into a conference call with his staff back on Terra. Each guardian was assigned an attache to help navigate calls to each lost tourist’s family and supplied with a thoughtful speech Uhura typed and sent out as she collected and translated information. 

Sarek looked over a copy and huffed as Nyota placed a highlighted comment off to the side to express any words of sympathy and assurance. He caught her glancing in his direction as when he put it back down and surprised her with a wink. “ Well done. I’ll make a diplomat out of you yet.”

She beamed at him but quickly hid her smile as she went back to work. They worked for five more hours, him holding press conferences and her taking calls that went over the emotional level of Vulcan calm. 

The main concern had been heatstroke and dehydration but as nightfell there was also the matter of fauna. Wild selhats and Le-matya had established terrorities in and around the Forge. Even if the humans survived the environmental conditions, the factor of animals happening upon them did little to encourage their rescue effort. It was around 2100hrs standard earth time that the group was located. 

A pair of guardians noted scuffles in the sand and saw that a part of the ground had given way to a large pit in the rock formation. After they called into the pit they heard the relieved yells of humans down below. Apparently they had broken off from the main group to get a picture in front of some rock carvings when they fell through the eroded floor. The person taking the picture fell in during his effort to hoist them out. The minerals in the surrounding rocks blocked their comms transmission and the yells were drowned out by the day’s earlier windstorm.

Sarek ordered medical treatment for them and his staff back on Earth to reach up with the news update. A press conference was held with the four human tourists hunkered down in thin medical gowns with IV bags attached to their arms. They looked tired but relieved as they sat before the cameras with Sarek and the Golian officials. The Terrans thanked everyone who had helped and assured everyone on camera they wouldn’t go wandering off anytime soon.

He drove Uhura and T’Prel back to the office and let them out into the garage. T’Prel excused herself for the night and went immediately to her flitter. He looked at Uhura and mirrored her wan smile. “ Would you care for a ride home?”

“ Yes but I need a few things out of the office.” She started towards the lift and paused when he came after her. “ I’ll follow you up.”

She nodded and remained quiet as they made their way to the office. Uhura stopped at her desk and bent over to retrieve her purse from the bottom drawer. Sarek, who had been mild-mannered since the emergency, was struck dumb but the sight. He was a sensible Vulcan but he was a male through and through. When Nyota bent over it broke what little resolve he had in being a gentleman.

He might have groaned. He may have stepped closer and took hold of her waist. He didn’t remember spinning her around to face him but one hand remained above her hip as he looked down at her stunned face. One hand secured his hold on her when he clasped it firmly at the base of her neck. The lids of her eyes lowers and he heard a quiet catch in her breath.

“ What are doing?” she asked, quietly.

“ Something that I’ve been thinking about all day.”

His fingers tangled in the soft, wooly strands of her hair as he skewed his head and brought her face closer. When she made no move to deny him he kissed her. He kept it gentle but firm like his grip on her neck and she melted against him. 

Her hands fidgeted with where to rest, flitting back and forth across his arms. He felt them grip surreptitiously at the muscles, assessing him. Her fingers slid up his forearms until she reached the hard bulge of his bicep. He may have flexed said bicep for her appreciation and she may have hummed her approval against his mouth as she traced its shape. 

Her tongue timidly ran its tip along the seam of his lips, seeking entrance. He cracked his eyes open to look at her face. Hers were closed with a red flush to her cheeks. Her brow was scrunched together in concentration as she continued to try and pry his lips open. _ Adorable _ he thought.

He kept his eyes open as he relented and parted his lips. Her light scowling gave way to smooth expression of bliss. He released her neck and took ahold of her hips, watching her as he methodically curled his tongue. She shivered as it slid beside her own, sending her fingers over his shoulder and onto his neck to lean up closer.

Her hungry touch on his skin was what drove him mad. It had been all fine and well to just have their mouths locked and his hand at her neck. The combination of her hands on his bare skin, however, had him growling into her mouth. The raw, throaty sound reverberated his chest as her lust sailed through him. Nyota stilled when he did, no doubt assessing the reason behind the noise. 

Sarek huffed, chiding himself. He should know better. Nyota had so much to learn about him and he wouldn’t be one to rush his frisky, little female. True to her nature, she slanted her head opened her mouth wider, waiting for him to reciprocate. 

He growled again, quieter this time and deepened the kiss. He would show her who he was sexually just as he was teaching himself about her. They just needed to take their time. He slid his hand down to grip her thighs and pull her closer. A sweet, simpering whine bubbled up from her mouth as his erection rubbed against her belly. 

He quirked an eyebrow, debating his course of action. Should he take her in hand now or continue kissing? She could only imagine how much he wanted her with their minds still apart but she had to know that he was smitten. How could she not?

With her, Sarek wished to be slow and methodical. Why not savor the taste of her mouth and the crush of her lips? And hadn’t he wondered how it would feel to have her come straddled across his lap? Just this morning during his meditation he had thought of five different way he wished to have her. And if Ms.Uhura were amenable he would see each position and orgasm played out in reality.

His lids grew heavy as her hands came to cup his face. What a sweet, little human he thought pushing into her hands. Nyota’s touch felt timid but eager to explore him. 

The hand he had at her thigh slipped up beneath the thin cover of her blouse. She arched against him as it traced along the dip of her spine and hummed into his mouth as he fingered along her bra. He toyed with the clasps until they snapped open. His fingers dragged from her shoulder blade towards her breasts and cupped the closest one. His gaze narrowed as he ran his thumb back and forth across its nipple. She swayed and he licked at the corner of his mouth. “ I enjoy touching you, Ms.Uhura. Do you like it as well?”

She whispered a raspy, little yes and pushed herself harder against him. He sighed heavily through his nose and lowered her down into her chair. He got to his knees and angled his head towards her breasts. He ran his tongue over each nipple above the fabric of her blouse and bra until he felt them both harden. From there Sarek resumed his slow, languid teasing of her breasts, cupping and caressing them until he could smell her arousal thick in the air.

Nyota’s movements became more fervid then. She nipped at the tips of his ears and clawed at his hair as her desire grew. She was rabid for him now. She shouted within herself for him to go faster than the snail’s pace he had set. She employed all many of tricks from bucking her hips to whimpered pleases in his ear. He smiled wickedly over the nipple in his mouth. He wouldn’t be hurried. 

He picked her up and felt her excitement spike against his hands. It pitched further when he sat down and put her on his lap.

Beyond the strange fortuitousness of their mutual regard, now that Sarek had Nyota alone and splayed across him, he wanted to draw out each and every second of it. The Vulcan workings of his mind could recall each detail, every new touch and sound they commenced. But, time had shown him was there was something to be said about living in the now.

She mewed into his mouth with a swipe of her tongue and rolled her hips against his. Sarek shut his eyes tight and broke the kiss with a hiss. She would break him. She was so tempting that all thoughts of being patient would be thrown to the wind. 

Nyota tilted her head back towards his and recaptured his mouth. Sarek followed her motions helpless in denying her anything. Her small hands rose up to cup his face and pressed against the short stubble there. 

It was crude to compare Nyota to anything but the sweet taste of her mouth and scent of her skin, inspired thoughts of confections again. He wanted to pull this morsel between his teeth and take pleasure in the rushing tide of honey bursting across his tongue. It could be splendid for both of them but the idea of letting her unravel at his steady, measured attention was more appealing for him. He wanted her to melt, he desired for her to burn.

Privy to his emotions of want, Nyota bucked her hips against his own with a mewling noise that had him practically growling in response. Sarek begrudgingly pulled his mouth away from her and waited for her to open her eyes to his face. She complied with a jerky shiver and he wondered at that moment what he looked like to her.

“Handsome. Gorgeous.” she offered, petting him softly along his jaw. He held her eyes as he moved into the curve of her palm and sighed. He had to know but he was hesitant to ask.

He had never done such an act, even when courting Amanda but he felt certain he should do so with her. “ Nyota. I want your mind. May I have your thoughts?”

Nyota sobered a bit from her lust riddled teasing. A meld. She probably wasn’t expecting him to ask. That was fair since he hadn’t been expecting to either. His fingers ticked along her side, eager to take their station somewhere near her face but he kept an easy poker face.

Her lips were wet and rosy when she asked what her inquiring mind wished to know. “ Haven’t you been listening to my thoughts already? I thought it was always that way? That you could touch and hear me?”

Sarek actually frowned and batted his eyes to the side before gazing back at her. “ It appears that my son did not have the best telepathic hygiene practices.”

When she made a face, Sarek went on to explain himself. “ It is not the best practice to, how did you refer to it? - eavesdrop?...on another’s mind. Until you expressly invite me to I shall keep my thoughts to myself and neither draw on yours.”

To his relief she looked surprised but not repulsed. “ What about my emotions? Can’t you...feel them?”

Sarek nodded further mussing his hair and smiled with his eyes. “ Oh very much so. Your emotions are different from your thoughts. Think about me observing them as one would your face. You smile when your happy. You frown when your upset. Instead of observing your face for these I sense your feelings. Your thoughts however are private. Yours to give and never mine to take.”

He was playing with the soft, short hair now near her temple. He leaned in and kissed her cheek and smiled against it. “ You feel so good to me. I wish to feel all of you. That is why I asked to meld. I want to feel you from the inside.”

Nyota swallowed and he could read from her expression that his words had evoked some sort of picture with her mind. “ What is it?”

She licked her lips and laid her hands on his shoulders. “ You make it sound so erotic. Like being in my mind is the ultimate way to have me.”

“ One of many ways to have you.” he rasped, nuzzling her cheek. “ One that I’m assured you would thoroughly enjoy.”

She turned her head and bumped the tip of her nose along the side of his. “ You’re very confident about your abilities. Cocky even. How can you be so sure, Sarek?”

He tilted his head for a quick kiss and took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “ I would make it my business to have you enjoy it. I would have it as my goal to make you _ beg _ for it.”

He let go of her chin and ran his fingers slowly up her face. Nyota parted her lips and fluttered her eyes shut as the psionic wake of his touch slid under her skin. Sarek ran them back down and caressed the edge of her jaw. “ I would have it that you would never want my lok inside you without my mind in you first.”

She shuddered and he leaned forward until his lips brushed hers. He held her dilated gaze and whispered. “ I would have you burn for me, Nyota Uhura. Blissfully so.”

She placed her hands around his and took it from her jaw. She placed it at her temple and let her lids hang heavy. “ Burn me.”

Two simple words drew the line in the sand. There was no turning back from what they had started. Sarek aligned his thumb behind her ear and along the back of her head. Her mind slid beneath his and brought Nyota’s simple, forethoughts to the surface. These were things most human would deem observations but to a Vulcan they were just as essential as the core. 

He could hear them beneath his fingers, searing his nerves. _ Mmm, yes, more, like that, good, so hot, I want him, need him, in me right now, Sarek. _

The other hand planted itself along her lower back and pushed her over his erection. “ Do you like games, Ms.Uhura?”

She nodded with her eyes looking darker and he gave her a quick smile. “ Good. I like them too. I thought of one we could play. A counting game. It’s simple. We’ll count to ten together. You want to play?”

“Mmmhmm.” Her giddiness fizzled and popped against his fingers as she wiggled on his lap. She was goading him to take her now and doing a good job of it. He was painfully hard. He slid his hand from her back down to her rear and squeezed under the cleft of one of the cheeks. “ Patience. You’ll have that soon enough. Why don’t we get started by having you free me from my pants? Then move your underwear to the side.”

Nyota complied and busied her fingers with his pant’s fastenings. He quirked a brow at how quickly she was able to free him but soon abandoned that thought when she took him into her hands. He glanced down to see her with a happy smile painted across her lips as she examined him. She ran a finger over his shaft and hummed. “ You’re a big guy all around.”

“ I’m glad you think so.” he said, in a husky rasp. She gave his shaft an experimental pump and Sarek made a noise that something like a strangled purr. “ I want you around me, precious but I don’t want it to be your hands.”

Sarek pulled at her underwear and waited for her to adjust the fabric between her legs to the side. He immediately shifted her weight so that she sat atop the hot length of his lok. Once they were comfortable, he held her still and examined her through the meld. He mentally searched for the taunt concentration of her nerves within her pelvis and happily chuffed when he found them. Sarek stretched his will over them like casting a net and secured his mental hold. He tugged experimentally at his makeshift reins and was rewarded with Nyota’s jerking hips and her breathy, little moan. Her mind cooed at him as the pleasure mellowed out.

_ Yes...feels so good. God touch me more. _ Sarek gave her plump bottom an encouraging squeeze and stared down with heavy lids. “ Let’s count now.”

Nyota giggled and looked at him questioningly. “ Alright. Count wha-AH! Oh God! Sarek!”

Sarek crushed Nyota’s trembling body against his chest she came with a shout. The sudden onset of it had taken her by surprise, just as he had hoped. She gasping at the air and clawing at his tunic, trying to figure out how it had happened. “ Sarek…” 

“ Yes, precious?” The hand not engaged in the meld ran itself across her back, groping at her rump as she stopped bucking in his lap. “ What was that?”

He parted his lips with an undignified smack as she rubbed her slick cunt along his shaft. He whispered against her hair and squeezed her bottom. “ _ That _was One.”

He felt her shock at the announcement and chuckled to himself. He would enjoy this game. Humans, while not telepathic, were receptive to species who were. In this short little exercise he found that this particular female was extremely responsive. 

He moved his face so he could see hers and murmured softly. “ For number two do you want my lok inside you?” She moaned and swallowed at the air. He leaned closer and kissed at her ear. “ It may still hurt you to do it so soon...even with you so wet. Perhaps we could try at number five?”

“ Five…?” she echoed faintly. He nudged her head with his and placed his mouth around her jaw. He wound his hips and flexed the hand he had along the back of her head. He pulled at her clitoral nerves a second time and she froze above him. 

On this climax Nyota called his name and whimpered fretfully. She was clutched at his robe and fought to hold herself steady as she weathered the release. “Sarek…” she sniffed, shivering.

“ Two.” he drawled.

He had three and four follow in quick succession and paused. Nyota was limp against his chest now and babbling quietly. Sweet, little fussy female he thought, shifting his hand along her back. She was soaking wet and hot against him. He bumped the head of his cock against her center and prodded the opening. 

She hiccuped at the air and arched off of his chest. “ Yes. Yes, please! Oh please!”

Sarek slid his hand to hold her by the back of her neck and placed the other at her hip. Panting, he held her still and slowly pushed himself inside her. At Nyota’s first bite of pain, he twisted his fingers along her spine and strung her out again. “ Five…”

She shut her eyes and threw her head back with a loud, throaty groan. He licked at her exposed neck and continued to work himself between her legs, stretching and filling her until his shaft was completely surrounded. Sarek kept his body still as Nyota took her time adjusting to the fullness.

Her manicured nails bit through the fabric on his tunic and into his chest as she continued to flutter around him. He looked down to find her sleepy eyes glittering up at him with a slack jaw expression of bliss. He ran his thumb back and forth on her neck and crooned to her. “ I did not know that you would feel this good. Can you see how good you feel to me, Nyota?”

He pressed his fingers tighter and filled her with the sensation of pleasure she gave him. She groaned and bowed her head as it swept through her. “ Sarek...I feel out of my mind. I feel so much.”

“ I have you.” he assured her. He kissed her cheek and panted at the air. “ If you need to stop, you only need to tell me. I am yours to do with as you please.”

She answered the sentiment by rising up and slowly sinking back over her with a satisfied hum. “ Mine?”

“ Absolutely. Completely.” he said slowly. She rose again and his fingers flinched against her. “ That’s it. Good. Take your pleasure from me.”

Nyota closed her eyes and concentrated on the sensation of his body. The thick, bullying fullness of his lok. The taunting, electric pull of his fingers. The satiny plushness of his lips as he drawled into her ear. The next stroke his hips rose up to meet hers and bottomed out again. She gasped and moaned as he repeated the motion faster this time. 

The chair below them groaned with each thrust, protesting the activities engaged upon it. 

His hand tightened on her hip and he pulled her face closer. “ Don’t you want to come on my lap, pretty one? Come and drench my lok as you did my face when I lapped between your legs.”

Nyota buckled and screamed silently into the air as Sarek raced her towards yet another orgasm. She teared up and collapsed against him in a boneless mass. Sarek wrapped an arm around her hip and hummed into her hair. “ Yes, my sweet one. Six.”

“ Sarek.” she croaked. She clung feebly to his robe and panted against his shoulder. He drew his head away from her face and brushed his lips along the shell of her ear. “ Yes?”

“ What are we...counting to again?”

Sarek couldn’t help the grin that spread over his lips. He had underestimated her. He kissed her again and whispered. “How high do you think you can go, precious?”


	16. They would wonder/on my desk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene at the end is one of my personal favorite smut scenes. I hope you enjoy.

She came into office determined to act like nothing happened. All of that flew right out the window as soon as she caught sight of Sarek.

He wasn’t doing anything especially sexy, yet she found her gaze objectivifying him. He stood at his desk reviewing a few PADDs he had lined up along the edge. He was dressed quite casually, with nothing but his slacks and loose black undershirt and his robes cast over the back of his chair. Her eyes went to his arms. They had been so steely wrapped around her. And his hands. He was right, she wanted them on her and him in her. 

She shuddered in the doorway and bit her lip. That counting game had scrambled her brain. By number eight she was worried that she had forgotten every word but his name. And by nine she wasn’t sure she could recall they were sentient beings. She didn’t remember ten. 

When she finally woke up, Sarek was carrying her out of his car into his house. He had cleaned between her legs with a wet towel and laid her across his bed. She had stayed on the edge of consciousness until he joined her and curled himself around her. The smell of Terran coffee and pre leaf loaf woke her from her sleep. She had taken a quick shower and stumbled downstairs for a quick breakfast. 

He must have read the panic in her eyes because he said he would stop by her place so she could get a change of clothes. She rushed through her apartment as fast as her sore body would allow and dressed. Her home comm console was filled with messages. A number of people had seen her on the news last night over the lost tourists. 

She let the recordings play as she hurried through her morning routine to get ready and back downstairs were Sarek was waiting in the flitter. Most were calling for details and congratulations. One message on her comm had her stuffing down her feelings of guilt and embarrassment. It was audio only but it was enough to make her belly flip.

“ Nyota. I noticed you in the news this evening and wondered over your welfare.”

That was all that was said but much more was communicated. Spock. She sighed and tucked her blouse into her skirt. What did he want her to do? Call her back? He hadn’t said to. And what did she want him to say?  _ Oh me? I’m fine. Just letting your dad ram his fat lok into me and boink my brains out between work meetings? _

Of course she couldn’t say that and for the time being she didn’t think it would be smart for them to start speaking again so soon after their unbonding. She still loved Spock but she wanted Sarek. A lot and in all the ways. Especially sexually. Badly. Terribly. 

This was bad in itself because she had something that she wanted relayed to him that she wasn’t sure would get a warm reception. Nyota had resolved to tell him that she didn’t think their relationship should be public, at least not yet. What if they didn’t work? Everyone would be in her business about her being his ex. 

The potential for them being gossip mill fodder for years to come rose exponentially if someone found out that she had dated his son beforehand. She’d never live that one down and she didn’t want that for their relationship. It should be about them sharing their lives with one another. It should be all the things that they needed, love, trust and honesty. 

And if she were honest with herself publicly dating the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth who’s also the father of the Commander of the Enterprise would take some time getting used to. And if she were really honest, she knew the way she felt about Sarek was more than enough to risk dating him anyways. Hopefully he was okay with private rather than public displays of anything.

And therein lies the problem. Sarek was nothing if not a rascal. He could be plenty serious but when he felt amorous, which seemed to be growing more and more frequent, he was hard to deter. Probably because as soon as any part of him touched her Nyota’s self-control dissolved and puddled into desire between her legs. 

She didn’t think he was lying about keeping his mental influences to himself but damned if he didn’t have her weak to deny him.

Sarek looked up from his desk and quirked an eyebrow. “ Are you well?”

Nyota nodded, not trusting herself to say something to lure him over and went to her desk. She settled in and woke her console. She was midway through reviewing translations for the lastest Vulcan travel brochure when she pursed her lips and stood up from her desk. “ I need to talk to you.”

Sarek glanced up from his comm looking startled. “ Pardon me?”

“ I need to talk to you.” she repeated. “ In private.”

Sarek looked towards the open office door and rose to close it. Before he slid it shut he informed T’Prel he would be conducting a sensitive conference call and did not wish to be disturbed. 

T’Prel nodded and went back to her work without a second glance as he slid the door closed and triggered it’s lock. He walked back towards his desk and leaned against the edge. “ Let’s talk.”

“ If we do this, I don’t want to have our business out in the open.”

He raised his eyebrow at her again and she huffed in annoyance. “ I mean not yet. I want this to be official but I want it to be just us for a little while. I want to see if we work.”

Sarek blinked at her slowly and gave an easy nod. “ Very well.”

Nyota narrowed her eyes and stared at him. “ No.”

“ What?”

She shook her head and came around her desk. She marched towards him and stood in front of him. He looked down at her in that infuriating way that made him seem like he mocking her. Nyota cocked her head and jabbed a finger in his direction. “ You’re patronizing me. No is too simple of an answer from you.”

“ It is?” he asked, sarcasm thick in his voice.

Nyota raised an eyebrow and shifted her weight from one heel to the other. “ You know what, Sarek? I hope you’re having fun entertaining yourself because you’ll be doing a lot of it from now on.”

Sarek tilted his head, puzzling over her answer when his eyes opened a bit wider than would be considered neutral. “ Come again?”

She smiled, crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged at him. “ I might but you won’t be a part of making that happen. I’m being serious about us and you’re acting like this is a joke.”

Sarek’s eye go from wide to narrow as she let the accusation fly. “ Don’t believe for one moment that I am not serious about you as my mate.”

“ Well, what’s with all the one or two word answers? You’re just okay with me dictating to you how our relationship is going to be?” 

He leaned heavier on the desk and held her gaze. “ Nyota, for most of my life I have been a hard male. A hard male to love, a hard male to live with and a hard male to be married too. My first bondmate did not live long into our marriage but for the time she was, our relationship was largely utilitarian in its function. Amanda was different but I had learned little in my previous marriage. I was hard on her, unnecessarily so. While she made every effort to love me completely, I sadly put all my energy into being the epitome of a logic-led Vulcan. She didn’t tell me before she was lost along with Vulcan but I know - I broke her heart.”

  
  


Nyota stiffened and swayed on her heels. He straightened and smiled bitterly off to the side. “ I spent a good deal of my time demanding rather than asking, having little gratitude for the family I had and resentment for what I wished them to be. I was hard male and I broke on the day I lost everything.”

“ Sarek…”

He shook his head and looked up at her. “ I don’t need or deserve your pity, Ms.Uhura. It wasn’t until I lost her and my home, that I realized how miserable of a being I was. I willful estranged my children for years, belittled she who was my wife, despised them for the people they were and the only person I have left that I can apologize to is the son whose exbondmate I’m courting.”

Nyota stood still as he leaned off of his desk and stood before her. He brushed his hand over her face and passed along the strength of his convicted remorse. She clenched her jaw as they emotion glanced over her. If Sarek was who he said he had been, Spock made much more sense to her now. His obsessive need for perfection, his subtle bigotry of humanity, his inaccessibility in times when he should be open. He had been his 

She sighed as the last of his grief left her and looked up at his face. He looked solmen but his eyes were warm and welcoming. “ So, Ms.Uhura, with me, there are no simple one or two word answers. There is a lifetime of horrible arrogance haunting me that I do not wish to resurrect. I am quite fond of you for the fact that you are a strong willed female.”

Nyota scoffed and shook her head. If she had a nickel for every time someone had told her that. Sarek shook his head and countered her dismal. “ You are. You’re as brilliant and clever as you are beautiful. Amanda was such but she was much younger than you when we met and changed so much of herself for me. With you, I am ready to be the one who changes and I am ready to leave old habits behind.”

Nyota took his hand from her face and tilted her head at him. “ It’s not easy. We’ll both have to compromise to make this relationship work. What’s important is that we both actively work to make it the best we can. No tyranny and no absence lover.”

  
He nodded and she squeezed his hand. “ You’re really cute when you’re earnest. You look like a cat trying to be let in.”

He grunted and pulled her over towards his desk. She sat down on it when he edged her back and giggled when he pouted as much as any self-respecting Vulcan could. “ A cat? Cute? I’m handsome and gorgeous.”

She hummed and hooked a leg over his waist. His mouth twitched and he looked down at her thigh. “ Your words, precious, not mine.”

She smiled and leaned back, pushing her heel into the small of his back. “ All true.”

He took ahold of her leg and moved it so he could examine her shoes. “ Where have these been?”

Nyota bounced her foot and gave him a coquettish look. “ In my closet.”

Sarek hummed in curiosity and turned her stiletto bound foot this way and that. “ Why haven’t I seen them until now?”

“ They hurt my feet and until last night my feet had been killing me.”

He quirked an eyebrow and held her foot between his hands. “ While let’s make sure to keep your feet in prime condition. I like these shoes.”

He pushed her down onto his desk and raised her legs up along his torso. Nyota nudged her toe against his head and smirked at him. “ You do?”

“ Hmm” he said. “ Almost as much as I like the female wearing them.” 

He ran his hands along her calves and down her thighs. “ You have very shapely legs.”

Nyota squirmed as his hands slipped under the bell of her skirt and found her underwear. He grunted again as he traced the lace lining. “ These also seem exceptional.”

“ I was feeling pretty today.” she said.

He smiled and pulled at the fabric drawing it up around her knees as she shifted to help. She was losing it. She hadn’t planned on this happening. In fact, she had tried to avoid them doing anything else reckless in his office but she was too weak to say no. He was rubbing at her legs, kissing and nipping her skin in reverence. “ You’re an absolute treat, Nyota.”

“ I’m much more than that.”

His eyes dilated and he cradled his head against one of her legs. “ What are you?”

“ Hungry. I want you inside of me.”

Sarek let out a groan that was more growl than moan and placed her legs down on his shoulders. Nyota felt them move against her legs as he worked to free himself from his pants. A moment later she felt the familiar shape of his head pressing against her sex. 

One hand clamped down around her left ankle and the other went to her face. “ Please...let me have your thoughts and your body.”

She nodded, incapable of speech at that moment and bit her lip as his mind wrapped them together. He slowly sank inside her and shared the indescribable pleasure of it.

Nyota’s back arched off of the table as she sighed into his touch. Heat burned at her cheeks at the sight of them together like this, her thrown across the desk with her stiletto-bound feet just behind Sarek’s head.

Deeply seated inside her, Sarek had yet to move anything over than his hands. The fingers at her face convey thoughts so filthy, so unspeakably wicked that if he were to give them voice Nyota swears she would fall apart in an instant. 

“ Would you?” he asked, slowly circling her ankle with his other hand. “ Would my word arouse such reaction from you?”

“ I don’t know…” she whispered hoarsely.

A smile lit his eyes as her voice trembled with excitement. “ Do not tempt me so. I wish to take my time and enjoy you like this. Splayed out on my desk...full of me…”

“ Oh God…” she choked as he pushed forward and brought her calf to his mouth. He placed a toothy kiss beneath her ankle and withdrew so slowly Nyota thought she would cry. “ Oh God, please!”

He quietly shushed her, a move that was teasing as much as it was practical. “ You mustn’t have them suspect. Leave them none the wiser.”

Sarek pushed forward at the same pace as his withdraw and watched as Nyota bit fitfully at her lip. He could feel the tension in the thin string of control she had over herself. That he was the one to cause it in her made him feel drunk with power. 

Goading her further, he nuzzled her calf and took the heels of her stilettos in hand. The move tightened the grip she had around him, leaving them both breathless. “ Imagine if you will, those passing by in the halls.” he crooned, still kissing at her leg. “ Deep in thought, busy in their day, when they suddenly they hear-”

Without warning he pulled back and snapped his hips against her. Nyota’s reserve broke and left her keening his name. 

He smiled in truth then and panted in the air. “ Yes, those two, simple syllables screamed from your throat. And then they would have to wonder…”

He released her legs to take ahold of her hips. Nyota had all but lost her mind. Her nails were clawing at his desk, trying fruitlessly to contain herself. Sarek leaned forward and whispered roughly into her ear. “ -if I am fucking you on my desk…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two are at it like teenagers, rabbits and nymphos. What do you think? Is Sarek ready to change his cold, cruel ways? Is Nyota ready to love as open and honestly as she needs? Are they going to get pregnant messing around like this? Will T'Prel put 2 and 2 together and figure out Sarek is bending Nyota six ways to sunday? You need answers and I need to finish writing the next chapter ;) Talk to me babies


	17. Because I wanted to, want to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new couple can't get the private time Sarek is craving. When there's a will there's a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for you lovely letters, comments and reviews. They kept me pecking away at this story even though craziness was happening. Thank you, Victoria, as always, for your help.

What Ms.Uhura wanted from him was not impossible however Sarek found it trying. The task of being discreet was difficult. Even the act of looking at her and appearing unaffected was toilsome. To behave as if he did not possess what he knew in fact he had grated on him.

The result had been an increasingly sour mood. Not that he would admit to such a thing. He is far too stoic for such childish behavior…

And yet Sarek found himself sighing and subtly adjusting himself under the cover of his robe. He understood that she wanted to keep what they were to each other private but how were they to do anything when there was little to no privacy to be had? Relief from a near constant erection was nowhere in sight. Nyota was near him for most of each day along with an unwanted audience.

Every night for the past week and a half had been one dinner meeting after another. Nyota had come to each one looking more appetizing than the food being served.

He ate each bite in stoic silence as their hosts and fellow delegates discussed the issues at hand. He was careful with his wine consumption. He needed something to dull the sharp edge of his libido but not so much that he lost all his inhibitions and did something...untowards. 

Sarek trained his gaze to only focus on his plate or whomever was speaking. If he didn’t, he found his eyes habitually zeroing in on his translator. 

Looking had only further frayed his composure as the minutes wore on. It also had him slipping towards his own mindset. As he saw it, he wasn’t demanding anything or being unreasonable. He desired her and she him so why the discretion? His mind would automatically supply her reasoning to no alleive. They were both being reasonable, logical but his mounting desire would not be swayed.

He wished to summon her to himself and openly perform the ozh’esta. He wanted her to praise him in front of everyone. He wanted her to- 

He stopped himself short. If he didn’t rein himself in now, his old habits of being domineering and controlling would surely rear their heads again. The same obsessive behaviors that hurt his Amanda. 

With every once of control he had Sarek vowed he wouldn’t fall back into them. Not that Nyota would have let him get away with doing so. Sarek was under no illusion that the moment he tried something distasteful Nyota would thoroughly, if not ruthlessly, put him into his place. 

And he would most definitely let her. One because he would deserve such a reprimand. Secondly because he might like it.

So he remained vigilantly on his best behavior while at work and away on business with her. He no longer groped her rump and brushed his arm across her breasts. He had stopped pressing her up against the wall to steal a kiss and taste her mouth. And as much as it pained Sarek to do so, he had halted coming up behind her and nipping at the nape of her neck. 

For nearly two weeks he had done this and in that time he had gained no satisfaction from his restraint. 

Tonight was just one more test of Sarek’s willpower to not stuff his cheeky, little human away and maul her as soon as the door shut.

The night’s event was typically one he liked, filled with prospective diplomats. They were in search of residencies and potential posting through already established ambassadors and consuls which typically made for easy conversation. Many had already approached him with clear potential but the ambassador’s mind was elsewhere. And his mood was far from cordial. 

On his way to their delegation table, Sarek had been cornered by a Bolian and Trillian eager to garner his attention. They spent the last ten minutes yammering on in front of him as he tried his best to stifle an irritated sigh. 

He sipped at the thin wine he held and thought perhaps if he agreed to hire them both they would stop their endless prattle. Then again he would be subject to it for untold hours if he did.

_ At least the view is agreeable _ he thought staring out of the corner of his eye.

Nyota stood beside him in a dress that tried his control. She wore a Terran gown that left little to the imagination of her body’s figure. The burgundy dress’s high collar fastened at her neck and tapered down into long, fitted sleeves. After a tempting hug over her hips, the fabric flared out and down over her heel-clad feet. 

Every inch of velvet laid snug against her, highlighting every plane and curve it covered. And alluring as the dress was, it was her exposed back that taunted him. 

An unbroken trail brown skin drew Sarek’s eyes from the nape of her neck to just above her hips. To say he labored to compose himself was an understatement. He knew all too well how that skin felt. How warm and unbearably soft it felt against his lips.

And this was his crux. Nyota was undeniably gorgeous but seemingly available. Golag, who of course would be in attendance, was only one of many admirers the lieutenant garnered. However, in this dress she would have dozens more before the evening concluded. How was he or anyone else going to contain themselves with Nyota looking like T’Priah imagined?

The very thought of others seeking her favor inspired jealousy. The jealous then gave birth to shame. He was a practiced logician and in this courting he felt like nothing more than a child struggling to reason their rational. 

Nyota only had this one simple rule to follow and yet Sarek could feel himself slipping towards failure. There was an irascible itch that was growing in strength inside him, an urge to assert himself. 

He had wanted to stuff the gaudy bouquet from Golag down his throat and throttle every male in the vicinity that dared lay eyes on Ms.Uhura. This was guilt-ridden enough but the heart of his shame laid elsewhere.

Nyota could have any one of her potential suitors and they would be lucky to have her. She wasn’t in need of anything. She seemed perfectly content to have Sarek’s companionship and entertained his courting readily. No firm commitment was made and it was that realization sparked a flare of insecurity within him. 

Nyota had done nothing to actively provoke unease within him but Sarek wrangled with neurosis nonetheless. The fear of her growing tired of him, of her seeing someone else she wanted and especially her seeing him as lacking. She hadn’t commented on his age before but the sudden alarm that she would find their age gap unacceptable haunted him.

He had hidden the anxiety away between long sip of wine but tension lacing his muscle never slackened its hold. It had been days since they had been alone together. Days since he had seen her free of her clothing and hadn’t missed her. How long exactly were they supposed to carry on like this?

He sipped his wine again and casually closed the small space between them. If he couldn’t have her now, so be it. If he was sleathy enough he could at least sneak a touch at her back. Sarek moved directly behind her, hiding the hand that wasn’t holding his wine glass.

He smiled, proud of his small thought of ingenuity and carefully extended his fingers between her shoulder blades.

They trailed hungrily along the small dip running down her back. He smiled mutely as Nyota stumbled over her words and shivered. He continued to admire the contour of her skin while Nyota recovered and replied to the Bolian in front of them.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her grimace over her lost composure and side step away from him. Sarek felt the distance like a gap yawning stretching them apart. 

Sarek huffed through his nose and tightened his grip along the stem of his flute.  _ Foolish _

He knew he had been improper but he was slowly losing the decency enough to care. What’s more, Nyota knew this too. In his touch, Sarek left a distinct impression of want across her skin. He hadn’t forced the emotion onto her rather he made himself open to her and she had taken the invitation. That’s when he had seen her shiver, had felt her silent agreement to his imagined debauchery. 

But Nyota had pulled away and took responsibility for them both by acting civil. Sarek straightened his stance and slowly released his breath. He felt himself fall under the weight of logic’s familiar reins. 

He would not shame her. That wasn’t the way he wished to have her. Nor would he torture himself with mooning over her like a youth desperate to be alone with his bondmate.

“ If you would excuse me,” he started, inclining his head towards them all. “ I have a small matter to attend to before the evening concludes. Ladies. Gentleman.”

He saw the surprise in Nyota’s eyes as he backed away and headed in the direction of the hotel’s lobby. He hadn’t wanted to leave her as he had but he could no longer tolerate their close and painfully chaste proximity. 

He made his way into the lobby and reviewed the latest messages that had filtered though his comm. He had answered three inquiries and marked five back to unread when a local message popped onto his screen.

/ Hey. Where did you go?/

The corners of his lips tilted upward at the icon floating above the text. He tapped a quick reply and waited for hers. / Somewhere I can’t molest you./

He had ideas as to how she would respond. Something along the line of haha or good, stay put then seemed to be the forerunners. So he was quite surprised to see her text materialize with the sound of a sweet chime. / What if I want to be molested?/

Sarek felt himself stiffen with a faint hint of concern. He wanted him but in the middle of a conference where they were scouting for candidates was hardly the time or the place. / I don’t know if that’s wise choice./

His text darkened, showing that she had read it and a new space for her text appeared below his own. / Maybe I’m not trying to make wise decisions Sarek. Maybe I trying to get you to make me shiver again...from touching me./

He actually groaned when he read it but was able to disguise the noise under a cough. / You will be the end of me, Nyota./

This time she did send a laughing face with a haha beside it and followed it with another. / Then I had better make it bliss then, Sarek. Where are you?/

He typed a response before he could check himself. / Headed to my room./

Her reply came a second later, its speedy delivery showing her own urgency. / No. Don’t. Go to my room. 557. It doesn’t have your view but I’m not on the same floor as most of the other delegates due to the overbooking. It’s residential./

Sarek was already headed to the lift. The door was sealing him away when he noticed her slim figure stepping through the lobby. He hoped he wouldn’t arrive before her. What if someone was in the hallway? What if they ran into someone they knew? Lust and logic warred within him as the lift crawled between floors. 

Luck would have it that a number of guests were coming and going on the cab he was on. By the time he arrived on the fifth floor he was sure Nyota had already arrived.

He stepped out and felt his comm vibrate and chime with an incoming message. / Door program to unlock and open upon your approach. Come. In. Side./

His lips quirked and again and he made his way down the hallway. The dark, decorative carpet muffled his footsteps as Sarek read the numbers at the door. Trays from room service and bags from carry out were outside of some of them, breaking up the next emerald and navy blue patterns lining the carpet’s edge. 

The door opened before he saw the number 557 and Sarek quickly duck inside before anyone had the chance to see him navigating the hall. Nyota wasn’t being all that paranoid about their relationship. He had a face that many would know or at least recognize as someone they had seen before but couldn’t place where.

The room was devoid of light with the exception of the colorful beams bleeding through the sheer curtains covering the large windows. He moved with undue care through the room until he caught sight of her silhouette draped over the arms of what served as an easy chair.

A smile split across her face as she beamed at him mischievously. The gown was gone and she was wearing nothing more than her underwear and stockings. In the faint, colorful glow of the town center outside she looked doubly alluring. 

It astounded him that someone could look as beautiful as her. That she wore her looks like just another characteristic about her seemed wrong. Her beauty was transcendent. Most everyone in attendance tonight would agree with him he was sure of it. Just like a star, there was just something about Nyota that made one want to be still and be in awe of her.

“ There you are.” she purred at him. She shifted on the chair and arched her chest into the air.

Sarek hummed, admiring her rapidly budding nipples. He neatly shrugged out his robes and released the clasps at his tunic’s cuffs. “ Here I am.”

He saw her pout and roll onto her side. “ You’re so far away.”

Sarek opened his arms and eyed her darkly. “ Come closer then.”

She did and made a show of walking over. Her hips swayed along with her loose hair. He caught her by the waist as soon as she was in reach. She laughed and ran her hands along his sides. “ You’ve been very handsy with me tonight.”

Sarek tilted his head with a modest lift of his brow and pulled her closer. “ Is that an accusation or observation?”

She flicked her gaze up from the tousled strands of her hair and grinned. “ Both.”

He exhaled loudly enough for her to hear it and took a hold of her chin. He caressed his thumb across her bottom lip and held her warm, liquidity gaze. “ And whatever am I to do about either, Ms.Uhura?” 

Nyota reached up and cupped his face as best she could. In this position her bust was pressed full against him and her bottom stuck out pertly behind her. “ Face the consequences and act on instinct, Ambassador.”

He turned his head in her hands and playfully nipped at the meat of her thumb. “ And ravage the petite human before me?”

She frowned and pulled away. Sarek felt his temperature cool as worry crept over him. “ What is it?”

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “ Nothing. I just-” she shrugged.

More out of want than reasonable caution Sarek came towards her and bent his lips near her shoulder. He had been away from her for so long that halting touching her felt like withdrawal. Nyota pushed into him, moving her head away so he could mouth at her neck.

She gasped and held his head at her neck when he slid his tongue in a particularly sultry fashion beneath her jaw. “ It’s the height difference…”

Sarek paused in his kissing long enough to reply. “ What is the matter? Don’t you like being petite?”

She groaned impatiently as he resumed kissing her neck. He was glad to see he wasn’t the only party affected. “ I’m not petite, you’re just tall. I don’t like the height difference. I can’t kiss and touch you like I want.”

Sarek nipped at her neck and drew his face away. “ And if I could rectify it, would you let me have you then?”

She chuckled and nodded. “ Sure. What do you plan on doing exactly?”

He answered her question by picking Nyota up, walking over to the wall and setting her on one of the long-legged chairs at the breakfast bar. “ Get your knees on the seat.”

Nyota knelt obediently onto the chair and smiled at him wickedly. It placed her mere inches away from meeting his gaze head on. He would still have tilt his head down to kiss her but that was a small inconvenience. She could reach his face now, combing her fingers through his hair as was her predilection. 

She shivered involuntarily and jerked her chin towards him. “ How am I the only one undressed here? Strip.”

Sarek lifted his brow at the command. “ You’re quite demanding after gaining more height. Bossy one might say.”

He slowly shucked off the tunic covering his thin under shirt and bent to remove his socks. His lips quirked at the corners as he felt her fingers untucking his shirt and gathering the material in her hands. “ I thought you commanded  _ me _ to strip?”

She shrugged and helped him out of his shirt. “ You looked like you needed help. You were going so slow.”

He actually smiled then and went to unbuckling his belt. “ Is that because you’re being impatience or I am being senile?” he teased.

He started to slide his belt loose from his trousers and chuckled as Nyota put herself to work unfastening the rest of his slack’s bindings. 

“ I don’t know,” she said in a sing song voice. “ I don’t think I’m being impatient. I feel like _ I’m _ being  _ perfectly _ reasonable. I’m naked and want you to fuck me and I want you naked too.”

He hummed at her as she let his slack fall to his ankles. He stepped out of them and tilted his head to the right to study her. “ Maybe we are at odds? Maybe you’re too immature and I, too elderly, for such activities?”

“ Immature?!” Nyota shouted in mock outrage. “ There was nothing immature about the way I handle you.”

She took a hold of his lok through his briefs and gave the shaft a firm but gentle squeeze. She held his gaze and narrowed it playfully. “ I’m plenty old enough to play with you.”

Sarek inhaled sharply as she peeled back his the band of his drawers and reached in to encircle his cock. She grinned and pulled his underwear down around his knees with her other hand. “ Do you feel spry enough to tangle with me?”

He closed his eyes and groaned deep in his throat when she added her other hand in fondling. Sarek loved to spar with her verbally. Her tongue was agile enough to keep up with her wit and mind could easily grapple with his own. However, she had an advantage in speaking so coarsely. Though, he had been working to close the gap. 

Her warm, wet mouth closer over the fat head of his lok caught Sarek off guard and sent his hips jerking to plunge deeper in. Her hands tightened and held him at bay so she could tease him in comfort. He said tease because surely that’s what it was. 

With the way she ran her tongue across him and smacked her lips, Nyota couldn’t be doing anything other than that. And when she sucked him deeper with her tongue wedged along the underside of his shaft he was ready to spend in her mouth. 

Sarek hissed in his struggle for control and gently laid a hand on her head. “ You would have me finish all too soon.”

Nyota groaned around him and increased the sunction. His face morphed into a snarl as pleasure sizzled through him. Surak, she would kill him. He gently laced his finger through her hair and drew her mouth away. “ K’diwa, mercy.”

Nyota peered back at him through glassy, narrowed eyes and giggled impishly. Her flushed cheeks and swollen lips made her appear even more wanton. He gazed lower and saw her nipples tight and puckered against the small, soft mounds of her breasts. And her sex. One of her hands had moved one of her between its folds and busied itself with fondling her clit.

Sarek watched her fingers work and silently swallowed. She was so lascivious. Once again he wouldn’t have the composure to make it to the bed that only laid five feet away. He had her. Now.

He moved her away with enough force that she wouldn’t be tempted to play with him and squirm away. She pouted in response and he shushed at her. “ There’ll be no need for that. I’ll give you what you want.”

Nyota raised a brow and made a noise of surprise. “ Oh is that so? Are old Vulcan dogs able to learn new tricks.”

He maneuvered her by the waist and turned her back towards his chest. “ Vulcan does not have dogs.” He murmured kissing behind her ear. “Is that what you would have me be? Your dog?”

“ Only of it you fuck me like one,” she said breathlessly.”

He kept one hand on her waist and tangled the fingers of the other into her hair. “ How about a selhat?”

He pitched her hips up and aligned himself. Her mind prickled the pads of his fingers as they pressed against his scalp. “ How about I demonstrate experience that comes with age?”

She made a little huffy noise as his cock bumped her sex before parting it. Nyota clawed at the back of the chair and arched towards him. “ Yes.”

He sank in completely and rolled his hips. Nyota moaned his name, soft and slow like a sigh of exhaustion. “ Sar...rek….” she breathed, drawing out the syllables. Her breathing grew heavy and labored the more he churned, leaving him slicker and wetter with each withdrawal. 

He could feel her trying to throw her hips back and writhe along but he held her still. This was his show, his acting on instincts. Older he may be but Sarek would set the precedence not to be taken lightly.

He withdrew half way and sank back with another twist of his hips. The motion gained him a particularly loud yelp of surprise. He smiled against her neck and repeated the motion. Once, twice, until he was rocking into her and Nyota was moaning in the chair. 

The technicolored lights and sounds of night filtering from the window gave the tone a drunken feel. Her, feeling hot and wet, and his head feeling dizzy and far from him. Sarek moved the hand on her hip to the other side, pulling her to him with each thrusts. The nerves at her scalp flared under his hand as he continued to work himself inside her. She liked this as much as he did. 

Nyota panted into the air with a white-knuckled grip on the back of the chair. Sarek could feel her the climax steadily creeping forward, waiting to pull her under. He held her rear flush against his hips and turned her head enough to see him by his hold of her hair.

She watched him drowsily and gave him an open-mouthed smile. When he didn’t move she whimpered and tried fruitlessly to move her hips. “ Please…”

He quirked his brow and drummed the fingers he had at her hip. “ Please?”

She began to reply but gagged as he quickly resumed pitching his lok swift and deep. She wailed and shivered as the first electric sparks sent her imploding. Sarek heard himself grunt as she spasmed around him with steely, vice grip. His fingers twitched with the urge to meld and had him loosening his hold. If he did so now, he would surely come along with her and he wasn’t ready to spill just yet.

“ Sarek!” she cried, still trembling in the chair. “ Oh God…”

The soft sultry voice from earlier had fled her and was replaced with a raw, gritty rasp. She was going limp as the waves left her, resting on him as much as the chair. She still saved enough energy to taunt him with a wiggle of her bottom. 

Both of his hands took hold of a cheek and adjusted their grip. “ Use your words, young lady. Am I to read your mind now, Ms. Uhura?”

She shrugged and he could feel her excitement at the prospect. Sarek wound his lok back and forth in quick, prodding pumps. Nyota slunk down until she was almost level with the back of the chair. He picked up his pace and worked her harder, relishing the speed in which he took her. 

The sounds of their love making were drowning out the noise of the revelers outside. He kissed and mouthed at her as he had wished to for weeks, crooned sweet, tender things with his lips against her ear. Nyota drank it up like a sponge, giving herself into every one of his indulgences. 

A whine left her and he only caught the last word. “-me.”

He paused and hungerily fondled her breast. “ You?”

She pushed against his hand and pelvis, seeking more of him. “ Come in me. I want you there.”

His mouth fell open as he nodded. “ You will.”

His hand left her breast after a firm but teasing pinch of her nipple and wrapped itself over the side of her face. She tilted into its palm with a yes and gasped as he took her mind. His nerves fizzed as if his veins had been filled with carbonation. They were sinking and floating all at once, merging until each sensation was shared.

He groaned and swallowed as they wrapped themselves tighter. They didn’t stop their mental grasping until there was no space left between them. He was wedged deep inside her and they were even more deeply wound around each other. 

“ Ashvel.” he heard himself groan. He couldn’t stand it. Being around Nyota made him reckless and hungry. He needed and now that he had her he couldn’t stop himself. 

Sarek lost himself for a moment and couldn’t recall the time. Somehow or another, he had taken Nyota from the chair and held her in his embrace. Her legs were thrown over his arms and bounced in time with his thrust. Her head fell back with a whiny keen and left her breasts jutting out towards him. He rushed towards them, sucking one and then the other. She mumbled faint encouragement as he kissed and licked his way across her chest and up towards her neck.

“ You want me?” he grunted huskily, still pumping away at her. 

A wailed yes was her only reply as he leaned back against the wall. Five sharp jabs more and he was jerking with a fearsome snarl. She mewed at the first hot gush and huffed as the next pulsed inside her. 

Sarek bowed his head onto her shoulder and pursed his lips. His mind felt clearer than it had in days.

“ Sarek?” 

Her voice was loud in the quiet of the room and with his head so close to hers. “ Yes?”

“ When you, when we melded, it felt different. Did we-?”

He felt her question and shook his head. “ We are not bonded.”

She sighed, her mind feeling muddled with a mix of emotions. “ Then why did it feel so strong?”

Sarek leaned up a bit and waited until she met his gaze. “ Because I am fully Vulcan. Because...I wanted to...want to bond with you.”

Nyota’s face stared back at him blankly before folding into a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two need to start wearing condoms. Nyota is being highly ill-responsible.


	18. The unseen bond between us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality sets in a bonding is put onto the table

She told him yes as they parted ways that evening. When they would be bonded was still up in the air. When Nyota felt his profession as he declared his want of her aloud, she was certain she wanted him back.

She loved him and if a way that she felt confident in, despite the optics.

Nyota never would have thought that she and Sarek could be anything other than acquaintances and colleagues. She had been bonded with his son, happily so, for years. Sarek for most of the time that she knew of him, had been bonded with Amanda.

His lonely sojourning had started earlier than hers. In the face of multitudinous losses, Sarek was much less jaded than she was. 

He had a hunger to live that Nyota would have found herself envying if she didn’t admire it so much. An appreciation for good that could be found or made that Nyota was just starting to discover for herself.

He was undeniably Vulcan and yet, she had colored this particular Vulcan male all wrong. Sarek had a cutting wit, an urge to help others that he lived out on a daily basis. A love for her that left her with no doubt. It was filling, savory and rich as anything she had ever consumed, that Nyota left giddy and gluttonous after each encounter. 

Of course it was different from Spock’s, whose adore had been sweet if not saccharine. It was much more buoyant than Sarek’s but felt much more fleeting as well. 

There had never been an infatuation of Sarek on her part. She hadn’t romanticized him twenty different ways as she watched him give a lecture to her class. He hadn’t been a culture to learn as well as a person. She had known him from afar, slowly moved into a genuine friendship and gave herself space to love him.

With Spock Nyota couldn’t be sure if she had been so careful. He was beautiful and forriden; her alien professor. The slight fetishized crush she had on him had become something more wholesome and loving but she knew the folly of idolizing him in the first place. He was fallible, arrogant and deeply troubled on so many issues.

She always felt from Spock a doubt in how closely he should embrace her. She was his human bondmate, a wife that neither people would look fondly on. Vulcan would see her as a further betrayal of his already-thinned blood. Humans on the other hand would believe him to be mindraping her at their worst. He had always been so concerned with what others thought, so pained by their judgement.

Perhaps that was due to the matter of Spock’s insecurity. Born out of priority, Spock did not always place their or Nyota first. There were many missions where he was prone to risky behavior and unnecessarily so. At her first moment of this troubling trend, Spock pushed away her concern as something all people in the fleet had to deal with.

Then there was the Khan after Nero and after him Krall. Each and every time Spock went above himself to save the day on his own, Nyota found herself drifting further away from him. She had tried to leave him once, give them a way of both gracefully bowing out but he held on.

He refused her necklace and her moves to end their relationship. It had been his dogged persual that had given Nyota hope that things weren’t over. Yet after Yorktown was finished and the Enterprise was fit to sail the stars once more, Spock fell back into old patterns and into his Pon Farr with his former bondmate.

The pain of not knowing that he had kept something so vital to his life in the dark still hurt her. T’Pring had come into hers before him but what if she had come in on Spock during his own? 

Sarek had told her more about the condition as she struggled to reconcile Spock’s need to aid T’Pring in her first few weeks here on Vulcan. What she had heard hadn’t been promising. Days of fever, mania and heightened sense of arousal. 

Sarek told her that males varied from females and that each individual was different but what did that matter? She would have done anything to help Spock through the biology urge but she knew herself. Had she not known about this rut Vulcan went through she would have seen his mindless need to have her as a confusing, frightening assault. 

She would have hated to believe he was raping her but if Spock had kept the information from her so she wasn’t able to consent beforehand than what could she have called it?

Spock’s refusal to open up was all too complicated. He said he hadn’t informed her because he hadn’t deemed it necessary at the time. That almost hurt as much as the news he withheld. And through it all Sarek had been there to tell her everything she wished to know.

He had been the benevolent calm in the storm that had become her life. And it was for this reason, that when he asked to bond with her she said yes.

The yes was just another piece locking into a long and wandering puzzle. Saying to Sarek, to them felt so, so right but it came with a price.

Spock would know. As much as she had said she didn’t want the world to know about them just yet, she knew the core of her fear. Spock would know and learn about everything she had done. He would see that she had fallen for his father in his absence and was undeniably happy.

The fear of him knowing was because of the unknown nature of his reaction. What would Spock say to her when he learned of her love? What would he do when he was told they were bonded?

It was futile to keep him at bay, Sarek was his father for God’s sake but Nyota did her best to navigate around him. Little good that did. 

After an especially playful night with Sarek she received a missive from Spock the following afternoon. 

She contemplated sending it directly to her deletion box but she knew what the nature of the missive was would drive her insane if she didn’t know. She finally opened it during lunch, pouring over the words with a lump in her throat. 

It was curt and straight to the point much like Spock and left nothing to be interpreted. 

The line ‘...were you at my father’s dwelling? I smelled you there…’ stung her throat in an ever-constricting grip. Smelled her? What of her did Spock smell exactly? Her hair? Her perfume? Her musk from night long sex? Her face burned as he went on, asking after her, imploring her to see him once more.

‘...dinner at my father’s perhaps?...’ he had penned. More like my husband’s Nyota thought, achingly. What would she do? What could she do?

Large arms wrapped around her torso, engulf her in an increasingly familiar embrace. Sarek’s nose traced the round line of her ear as he murmured softly in her ear. “ Your worry is giving me indigestion.”

She laughed, knowing it was the exact reaction he was phishing for and because she found him irascible. “ You know that’s not true.”

He mouthed at her neck and pulled his lips away long enough to reply. “ What reason have I to lie, dearheart? Can you not hear my stomach or smell my breath?”

Nyota turned her face and smiled gleefully when she managed to nip at his nose. “ Don’t blame your bad breath on me. I’m not the one eating heaps of Ujayall for dinner.”

Sarek huffed at her quietly with a raised brow aimed at her mouth. “ That was dinner. It’s noon the next day.”

“ It seeps from your pores.” Nyota whined. She pinched her nose for emphasis and broke into a fit of laughter as Sarek bit her ear. He leaned away, regaining some of her composure and a few moments later Nyota heard footstop coming from down the hall. 

She sighed and turned back towards her computer. “ I’m sorry.”

Sarek was walking back to his desk and taking a seat when he glanced in her direction. Whoever it was passed by their open office door without even a look inside. When the footfalls were a safe distance away Sarek spoke to her in hushed tones. “ You need not apologize. Our agreement is still standing.”

Nyota shrugged and looked glumly at the letter. “ Yes well we shouldn’t have to carry on like this.”

Nyota felt Sarek’s eyes studying her as she said this. Ever the diplomat, he was probably seeing how best to reply. “ Your comfort is of the utmost importance to me.”

She sighed and rubbed at her temples. She was suddenly agitated but not at all with him. “ That’s the thing Sarek, I’m not comfortable. I’m going mad reminding myself not to touch you. And I-”

She paused and rubbed at her face some more. She felt his interest in her cut off statement buzzing within their fledgling bond. No former bonding until the ceremony he told her but even now it felt more...structured than the one she had with Spock. “ And, Ms.Uhura?”

“ I...want, no, I need to let Spock know.”

Sarek straightened at this but gave her a gracious nod of agreement. “ He has been far removed from us. It would do well to inform him sooner rather than later.”

He turned to his comm and tapped at his calendar. “ I can host a dinner this upcoming weekend. Otherwise I don’t see us having another opportunity for the next several months. Is that acceptable?”

Nyota stared at her screen where Spock’s missive was still loaded. In the end it really didn’t matter that she didn’t want to tell him. Sooner or later he would know. Sooner or later he would make his own, very Vulcan, very human feelings known. 

Nyota tapped the missive away and smiled up at Sarek. “ This weekend will be fine.”

\--------

In the early days of their marriage, Sarek allowed himself to notice Nyota in ways he hadn’t before. New opportunities had been afforded to him, such as waking up next to her still-sleeping form or her appearance as she emerged fresh out of the shower.

Every observation had been performed in taciturn joy, watching her as she roamed about their home. 

Their home. It had been too long since he had thought of that phase positively but his wife had a way of changing everything that she encountered. 

As it was Sarek couldn’t say which appreciated more, studying her at night or in the morn. In the wee hours before dawn when he normally rose for meditation, she would snuggled against him. He dared not to describe the sweet peace that radiated from her form, he would fail to capture the fullness of it. And then there were her sleepy eyes peering at him from where he sat across from her rising out of his mental exercises.

Rolling from her belly onto her back, Nyota would often spread her legs and welcome him back to bed before he had to head to the shower. The coquettish fashion in which she did it, biting at her lip and slowly blinking her eyes, only riled him to be more amorous in his return to their bed.

He would touch her in ways he learned she liked and others he figured that she might. Then asking in a voice that both grated her nerves and thrilled her, would set his young bride to sobbing his name and shaking beneath him as he exercised every one of his logical disciplines into driving her mad.

But then there was the quiet respite of their evening, filled with cooking and questions, as one barbed the other into delineating the events of the day. And while not every dish was as awe-inspiring or the production-worthy meals they dined on while working, the ability to retire to bed thereafter was priceless. Could that he would compare the chest constricting joy (forbidden as that was) of a spoonful of Deltan sorbet to the soft form of Nyota curled against him as they read upon their PADDs.

She understood the rich treasure of it too, to be at peace with silence and yet full within its space. To have a companion to share and rejoice in was so much, perhaps too much for them to ask given the well-won years of their previous relationships but neither seeks to compare this to the former bondings.

There was a love that was mellow and soft, tempered by experience as much as it was valued from it. In the heated embrace of her hand, Nyota frees herself, her thoughts, her mind to him and Sarek studied the gears of her awareness grind to a halt. With one hand to his chest and the other thrown over his waist, she becomes the most vulnerable she can to anyone, sleeping in his arms as she does.

Sarek can’t find enough words or theories to explain the immensity of these gestures, the security that it gave him as a Vulcan male to behold Nyota as he does at these times. 

She fascinated him on an intellectual level. Many people he encountered were easily solved and set aside as finished works but not her. Nyota Uhura had always been an equation for him, one that kept changing once he thought it was worked through.

How strange to finally happen upon a true enigma. And that this riddle of a being should love him also puzzled him. 

She had no need of him, really. If anything it would have better suited her welfare to cut all ties from all of Spock’s kin.

But she had first approached him, formally, carefully with no other agenda than to put herself back together.

He had respected that, saw himself in it even. Regaining his balance after Amanda’s loss had been none too easy.He thought of it in paltry terms like the loss of a limb because he could think of no other way to describe it.

He was unbalanced at times, falling back into old, habitual patterns that could no longer be performed. Going home for second sunset tea. Calling the house for forgotten grocery items that needed fetching. Grabbing at the empty space where she once laid beside him in bed. 

The motions came natural and were felt beyond his sense like a phantom touch. At any moment she might appear, pick up the phone or turn into his embrace. His logic told him otherwise but the soul-body connection was a hard critic to convince. So very hard to stop. 

At any given moment Sarek could find himself waiting. Initially he doesn’t know what for then his grief reminded him with the love welling in his breast aching to be released. 

Nyota’s presence had redirected it from listless to purposeful. She knew that ache and did not ask him to express it. She treated him as whole though she knew of his scars. Just as he knew of hers in an intimacy better left to a healer or one that was not so fond of her and notedly unbonded.

Some humans he thought would call it fate, others a miraculous coincidence. But he did not seek to define it. What is is. And he is in love with her.

And tomorrow evening, he would let his son know.


	19. Dinner topics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Messyboots is fast at work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's comments on the last chapter were amazing and uplifting. Thanks so much.

Dinner was the nightmare she was expecting. Not the food, the fare was excellent. 

Sarek had outdone himself with a fusion of Terran Vulcan cuisine she would later find. He chose to forgo the traditional custom of guest hosting and took charge of dining experience. When asked why he said under furrowed brows that Spock and his guest could leave sooner if he had the food ready for them to eat at once.

“ The evening might still be pleasant. However, I enjoy being prepared for various possibilities.” he concluded. He was just setting out the last dish when the door chimed. Nyota and Sarek turned in enough time to see the entryway slide open and reveal Spock and T’Pring. 

Nyota’s eyes struggled with where to look. It had been months since she had seen Spock in person like this and the sight of him made her gut churn. Handsome but no longer in a way that inspired her lust. She felt her hand tremble as old feelings of anger and confusion clawed at her breasts. 

He left her and tried to have her see the logic of leaving the door open to have him come back in. It felt no less painful than the day she lived it. She felt her back stiffened as Spock’s gaze dropped down to her hands.

Nyota tucked her shaking hands behind her back. She was mortified by her body’s reaction and still, she couldn’t deny wanting to study him. It was odd to look at him, seeing him look so familiar and yet so much like a stranger.

There was another familiar stranger at their door. T’Pring, stood silently next to Spock at the foot of the threshold. She was much too close to him to be casual, though the air between them seemed cool. 

Her dark eyes assessed her curiously and Nyota kept herself from looking away. She studied her as well, not enjoying the small spark of jealousy that kindled itself in her belly at her beauty beside Spock. They were a lovely pair, her golden skin to his pale pallor with equally glossy black hair. She had hers trained up into an elaborate updo that accentuated her long neck. 

Her attire was well tailored but not showy. Sarek stepped forward in the middle of them sizing each other up and fell into his diplomatic persona. “ Welcome. I have prepared dinner. The waitstaff was excused for the evening so we could dine without prying ears or eyes.”

“ Thank you.” T’Pring said softly. What her gratitude was towards Nyota had no clue but it was nice to hear her say it all the same. Sarek seemed to think the same and gestured towards the dining room. “ None is necessary but it is appreciated. Please sit.”

They came and glided towards the closet where Spock quickly deposited their outer robes. Nyota took that chance to go into the dining room and take a seat next to the one Sarek typically chose to sit.

Much to her chagrin Spock chose to sit across from her. Once everyone was seated Sarek opened the dinner with passing a serving platter to T’Pring. She took and deftly served herself and passed it onto Spock. He laddled out his fill and extended it towards Nyota. 

She took and steeled her nerves as she felt his forefinger brush the back of her hand. It took all her will to keep from dropping the plate and have herself mentalled walled away from him. If he noticed Spock didn’t visibly react. However, Nyota noticed Sarek was stiff in receiving the platter from her afterwards. 

They ate in silent efficiency, clearing away the food with gusto. Spock stood first and gathered the empty plates before them. Nyota leaned away as he scooped hers up, detering any other contact between them. Sarek looked at her but Spock was the one to comment of the move. “ Is something amiss?”

“ No.” she said unconvincingly. She pushed away from the table and rose from her chair. “ No. I was just going to get up to get us something to drink. Can I get you all something? Wine? Liquer?” 

T’Pring shook her head and moved her hand to her abdomen reflevisily. Nyota’s eyes narrowed at the gesture before she could catch herself. No. She wasn’t...she hadn’t said so was but...when would she have told her? They had been silent since they sat at the table.

“ Armagnac.” Spock interrupted. Nyota blinked away from T’Pring and nodded. “ Yes, of course.”

“ I will have the same.” Sarek said.

“ I will finish my water and think of what I shall settle on.” T’Pring answered.

Nyota nodded none too happy with the vague answer. Could she drink or not? Hell that wasn’t the question. Nyota went into the kitchen, training her eyes onto the cupboards and nowhere near where Spock stood loading the refreshing. She pour the drinks and turned to find Spock standing right behind her.

She blinked rapidly, taken aback. When had he moved and why was he so close. And the way he was looking at her. “ Nyota.” 

He almost purred her name. She hastily handed him his drink with the liquid almost sloshing out from her swiftness. “ Here. Let’s join the others.”

Her words sounded breathless and wrong to her ears. Where had her nerve gone? The sight of Sarek around the corner had her sighing in audible relief. She handed him his glass and took it along with her other hand. “ Thank you.”

She smiled at him but frowned at the noise behind her. Was that a..grunt?

Nyota turned and saw Spock standing midway between them and the kitchen. T’Pring, who had been moving towards him paused and tilted her head. His grip on the glass was tight and his face pinched in barely concealed rage. 

“  _ What  _ was _ that? _ ” he asked. He exhaled the words as if each one was so heavy they needed individual breaths to be spoken.

Sarek took a measured sip from his glass while Nyota looked between them. “ Spock. We have something to tell you. He-”

“ Why did he touch you?” Spock rasped. The disbelief was thick in his voice but his eyes were sharp with understanding. Nyota saw him mentally picking apart the last few minutes of their interactions. Her hesitancy to speak to him, her unwillingness to hold his gaze, the pensiveness reaction she had to his proximity. She could see him putting them together in her mind. 

He shook his head once and then three times more as with widening eyes. “ No.”

Nyota bit the inside of her cheek. This was it. It was finally happening; the reckoning of their union. A small, petty part of her drank in the stricken look on his face as he looked between them. 

That right, you know how it feels now. The flash of glee quickly fizzled out as her own pain crawled up into her throat. 

Sarek lowered his glass and took her hand in solidarity. “ We have chosen one another and bonded.”

“ You cannot.” he barked. Nyota sipped nervously at her drink, willing the alcohol to hit as swift and hard as possible.

Sarek gave an unamused lift of his brows and tilted his head. “ And yet we have.”

“ It is unseemly.” He said in a near growl. Nyota frowned over the rim of her glass while Sarek placed his on the nearby mantle. 

“ What is is, son. And it is best to leave it at that.” It was as much a statement as it was a warning. She could see his carriage looking more guarded as he took in his son’s behavior. Idly she wondered whether or not he put his glass down to free up his hands.

Spock ignored his father’s posturing and turned towards her with a furious scowl. “ You would have  _ him _ as your  _ husband _ ? A male sixty years your senior and fully alien to you?”

“ I love him Spock.” She responded with a glare to not press the subject. He was throwing a fit not even a foot away from his renewed fiance about his latest former.

“ Do you love him or love what he is? A Vulcan? I cannot be sure. You so easily cast me off and paired with him.”

Her vision blurred for a moment as Nyota nearly choked with anger. “ So easily?! So easily! What the  _ fuck _ was so easy about having to shuck the last seven years of my life? There was nothing  _ easy  _ about it! I love...loved you Spock. I loved you so  _ fucking  _ hard and when...everything fell apart I thought I would too. You were the love of my life.”

Spock kept his glower but his heart showed in his voice. “ Then why?” 

He stepped closer with a hard look in his eyes. T’Pring looked from Nyota’s face to her scowling bondmate with a vague expression of discomfort. Spock was either ignoring T’Pring’s unease or did not even notice. “ Why then if it was so hard, does it have the appearance of being easy?”

Nyota pointed a freshly manicured finger towards his face and lowered her drink. “ Don’t mistake simple for easy. Just because the steps I took weren’t complex doesn’t mean it didn’t break me to take them. Someone had to make me a priority so I finally came to the conclusion that it would have to be me.”

Spock reeled back as if he had been slapped. His brows went back and forth from a hurt furrow to a deep frown 

“ And you believe  _ he  _ would make you a priority?” he asked, pointing to his father. “ Do you even know who he is? He is married to his work! Many times he left my mother lonely and longing.”

Nyota snorted and took another sip from her glass.“ Well in that case like father like son.”

Sarek stepped forward and moved to get between them. “ If I may have a word- “

“ No you may fucking not!”

Nyota weaved around the pair aiming to make her way to the front door when Sarek placed his hand on her shoulder. She flinched away and shook her head. “ No! Don’t touch me!”

She wheeled around to find Sarek dropping his hand down at his side. She thought it had been Spock reaching out to stop her, not him. The momentary flicker of fear and rejection that crossed Sarek’s face almost hurt her as much as Spock’s words had. Nyota sniffed at her running nose and shook her head again. “ I’m sorry. I can’t right now.”

“ Very well.” he answered with a nod but she could still sense his unease. She didn’t think he had seen her this way. Upset of course but not furious. Her agitation wasn’t aimed at him however. In her spat with Spock she felt the emotions surrounding him in her heart stir. 

The urge to go to him and be wrapped tight in his arms beat at her along with the need to be free of them all. She couldn’t take it right now, the looks, the stares, the judgement. 

“ I know what you all are thinking.” She barked angrily, pulling on her coat. “ So human! So disgustingly emotional. Unable to see the logic of it all. Well at least I live my life honestly, or try my best to.”

She fled towards the door and stepped into her shoes. She turned to retrieved her purse and sniffled at them again. “ I shouldn’t have to defend my love. If you wanted me-“ she shouted jabbing a finger in Spock’s direction. “ If you _ ever _ wanted me, then you should have fought for me long before now. Not when I have someone in my corner who is a worthy contender.” She sputtered. 

Sniffing at her nose Nyota gave Sarek a teary, grief-stricken smile and pointed at him. “  _ He _ loves me.”

“  _ K’diwa _ .” Sarek started moving towards her when Spock sidestep in front of him and blocked his path.

“ Do not call her with such familiarity.” Spock hissed venomously. 

Sarek narrowed his eyes and took a step closer. “ Believe me when I say we are  _ quite _ familiar, son.”

Spock’s eyes blazed as he took in his father’s words. He glanced over his shoulder at Nyota’s tear-streaked face and back towards Sarek’s. “ Familiar?”

Sarek stepped closer and replied with his voice dark and low. “ Very. Familiar. She is my beloved and I will know her in all ways.”

Spock gave a momentary flash of his teeth and growled at him. “ She is hardly your beloved.”

Sarek flared his nose at the Spock’s postering and rolled his shoulders. “ Do not try where you have already failed, Spock.”

Spock was launching into another barrage when Nyota shut the door behind her. Stomping down the walk way, she fished about her purse for her comm and slammed the call button for a cab. With that done she put her comm down and looked for her e-cig. 

Her vision blurred made the search a frustrating one. She hardly ever smoked and was beginning to wonder if she even had it. Shame dogged her as she made her way further down the walk. Sarek’s face. Spock’s honest shock that she had moved on without him. She had wounded both of them withT’Pring standing witness to it all. “ Damn it! God damnit!”

She had to get out of here before one of the two of them followed her. Her comm was blinking down at the bottom of her bag, flashing bright blue. Missed calls and messages. To hell with checking them now. She had originally planned on staying the night with Sarek but all thoughts of doing so were thoroughly dashed.

Fuck it. Fuck Spock. Especially Spock. Pretty much only fuck Spock. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? Why did he have to go and make her see that she still lov-

Her eyes began to betray her and welled with water along the bottom lids. She wiped at them and heard a husky familiar voice swept alongside her. “ It was a particularly nasty exchange.”

Nyota glanced over and found T’Pring standing beside her with an almost human awkwardness.

She bit her lip to stop herself from reflexively saying sorry and managed a more neutral reply. “ Yeah. That was a shit show. I knew it might have gone poorly but that fucking took the cake.”

The Vulcaness rolled her shoulders, disturbing the robe resting upon them. “ I feel a need to thank you.”

Nyota’s eyebrows rose as she finally retrieved her e-cigarette. She contemplated asking if T’Pring was pregnant so she could avoid smoking in front of her. The possible news of her answering positively soured the food on her stomach and had her mind running back to T’Pring’s thank you. “ Excuse me?”

T’Pring’s expression seemed earnest as she nodded towards her. Her hands were hidden beneath her sleeves but she couldn’t hide the fact that her fingers were fidgeting with the hem. “ You helped save my life.”

Nyota shook her head and exhaled. “ I didn’t do anything.

“ You encouraged my life’s preservation where you could have encouraged your relationship.” she countered.

Nyota shrugged and placed the electronic cigarette back into her purse. She didn’t want to do this, she was still too raw. Nyota shut her bag and walked on. T’Pring followed close behind, sealing their silence until Nyota got the nerve to break it. “ It was the decent thing to do.”

T’Pring seemed relieved. “ Decent, perhaps but not the most logical for your romance with Commander Spock.”

Nyota scoffed and started to quick her comm for her cab’s arrival time. She couldn’t believe she was talking to T’Pring of all people. Vulcans really couldn’t pick up on social cues. Did it look like she was dying to take to her ex’s fiance about her past relationship? 

She closed the comm’s screen asleep and brought it down into her purse. “ The Commander was happy to keep everything as steady as she goes. Our relationship was far from steady.”

T’Pring was thoughtfully silent as they waited at the end of the drive. Her frayed nerves began to quiet at the thought of soon being in her own place. Nyota rarely ran from trouble but when she did, it was for those situations where she had to maintain her composure.

She sat on the curb, tugging at her skirt while T’Pring folded her long legs to join her. Nyota wasn’t unhappy for the company but the selection of it was awkward to say the least. This woman was sticking to her like a shadow. Why was she following her?

Nyota took one look towards the house when T’Pring spoke again. “ I am sorry for his reaction to your betrothal. You were very cordial about the potential of ours.”

Nyota shrugged and blinked away the returning tears again. “ Yeah well, I’m happy for you guys.”

“ Your reaction would argue otherwise.”

Nyota gave a humorless chuckle. She blinked and wiped at her eyes. “ Honestly, it feels like my heart is breaking all over again. Even though it’s bursting from being so full. Maybe that’s why...” She whispered in a near sob. T’Pring sat quietly as Nyota inhaled and continued.

“ There are things that I question now that I’m out of it. All of Spock’s desire to go back for this or that but never forcing the issue or asking me to go with him. You know at first I was like he’s giving me a choice but now...with fresh eyes, it feels like he wanted this to happen sooner, me having the last straw.”

Nyota exhaled and looked up into the amber orange horizon. “ Spock didn’t want to break my heart. I know he loved and loves me. But our relationship...Heck, I mean we went through so much together. He loves me and loves himself too but both aspects were in conflict with each other. He couldn’t have been true to himself without hurting me over and over again. That happens in relationships I know but he wasn’t putting in any deposits in our love bank. He left me in crippling debt when it came to what I needed.”

T’Pring nodded but added a rebuttal. “ I believe his behavior tonight is only fractionally in reaction to that. Most of his ire was due to the fact that you are to bond with his father.”

Nyota rose from the curb and watched her flitter approach. Putting herself to rights, she gazed down to where T’Pring remained seated. “ Excuse me when I say I could give a shit. Spock wanted me to be at peace without him and I was. But he’s also asking me to either be at peace alone or with him. He wasn’t wanting additional options there like moving on with someone else. That it’s his father chafes him like no other. Tough titties.”

T’Pring blanched but kept her face neutral. “ Pardon me?”

Nyota paused in getting into the cab and spoke to T’Pring over her shoulder. “ Do me a favor and let’s never do this-” she said waving between the two of them. “ -again. Congratulations on your engagement. Live long and prosper.”


	20. I choose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T'Pring calls with unexpected news. Another confrontation is on the horizon. Sarek can't find Nyota and he's worried as to why that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew finally got this to go in the way I've wanted it to go. Thanks so much for being patient and enjoy the end of this wild story.

He had been so close to losing it all. His mind, his control and with those, his son. He could have throttled Spock. Killed him.

Perhaps Spock had been justified in some unseen way that Sarek had yet to become enlightened to. Not that Sarek cared to be enlightened. His son had hurt Uhura, thrice over now and Sarek could no longer abide it. Their roles in Uhura’s life had changed along with their responsibilities to her.

Spock was no longer her bonded, Sarek was. What his son had wished to say, had tried to express was a moot point. He had lost his chance to when he discarded her for duty. 

And Uhura was right, Sarek  _ had  _ chosen her. How could he have not in the face of all that she was. Uhura was glorious. And he had not built her up for Spock to tear down. He hadn’t used her even for his own pleasure, though he knew appearance would have seemed otherwise. 

Sarek supported Nyota because she deserved and desired it. She needed to be put first, needed the time and attention that came along with it. 

Sarek would not wholly blame Spock for his poor treatment of Nyota. He had not been the most stellar example of what a bondmate should be for him. 

That was neither here nor there now. He couldn’t get a hold of her. He called, commed, mailed but received no response. As he went from his home to her old apartment dwelling housed in the heart of Shi’kahr, he wrung his hands beneath his sleeves, praying for her to appear.

He chimed the door and held his whole body rigid as he waited.

She did not answer and he did not gain relief. He chimed again and stood waiting for over an hour but still no answer. He could try and draw her to him. The bond lay waiting like a rope in his hands. He only needed to tug and Nyota would be compelled to come to him. He caressed the link between them as he left and held it limply in his mental grasp.

He could no more order her than he could deny the Watcher its rising in the sky. He promised to be a different male for her and he would. However, he hadn’t planned on upsetting her like this. 

He went home to wait for her and hoped that she would choose him, no matter how much of an old, foolish male he was. He did not deserve it but love was neither logical or fair. It simply was and did as it pleased.

When he arrived, he noticed the house’s comm console had a message waiting for him. Sarek hurried over to press the receiver. Tossing off his coat and robe he nearly fell over his shoes as he kicked them off.

He jabbed the button and braced his hands on either side of the console’s frame. The hope that had welled in his breast soured into an ache as T’Pring’s vistage appeared on screen. He hardly registered her message to contact her as soon as it was convenient. He called up her comm’s address in growing bitterness and stood waiting for her to answer.    
  


A small part of him thought there may have been a chance that she had some news of his beloved but the larger, more logical, more mournful part of him grieved that she most likely did not.

T’Pring answered on the fourth ring. She sat primly at the console with one hand gracefully folding into a ta’al. I might have been the green robe she wore contrasting poorly with the light but she looked beleaguered. 

The circles under her eyes were so dark they resembled bruises. Once radiant complexion took on a sickly pallor. She appeared...ill. What was the cause? It didn’t look to be a matter of sleep loss. Whatever the cause of her affliction, it would take more than rest to alleviate it. “ Lady T’Pring. Are you well?”

To Sarek’s great surprise she ignored his query. “ I must speak to you. Concerning Spock.”

Sarek’s face hardened but he nodded for her to continue. “ Pertaining to?”

“ A great many things.” she said. She jerked and for a moment Sarek thought she might faint. “ My lady, I must ask again over your health. Do you need assistance?”

“ When was the last time you saw Spock?” she asked, ignoring him again. Sarek straightened away from the comm screen and stared at her. What was amiss? “ When last you both ate here at my domicile.”

T’Pring swallowed and nodded to herself. Sarek’s confusion began to give way to anger before he could quell it. He had been awake for hours and could not settle his mind long enough to meditate. Not with Nyota gone.

He paused and felt his heart sink. He had not seen Nyota in that time as well. He refocused on the screen and worked to still the panic rising within him. “ Do you know of my bondmate’s whereabouts?”

T’Pring’s face went from pinched to grave as she sighed quietly. “ As I said before I need to speak with you about Spock.”

\-------

She should have gone back. Should have at least let Sarek know that she was alright. It would take no more than a light touch against the bond to assure him of her wellbeing but Nyota was in the thick of brooding.

Her life lately had been the stuff of dreams. Sarek made her feel like the most precious thing he had in his life. She could look at the stars now and not feel the constant pressure of going and knowing and searching and seeking. Sarek pulled her to him like the wake of gravity, an invisible tether that she gingerly wound around herself. 

She had planted herself here with him and felt completely at ease with it. Nearly at ease. There was still the question of the public eye in their private life and Spock to a lesser degree but she knew they would be spared of the latter soon. 

The Enterprise would be in orbit and when it left it would have Spock and transfer orders to serve here on Vulcan. 

She knew the optics of her and Sarek working together would be poor. The fleet wouldn’t be so quick to retire her either. Working at the small station here would give a needed concession for both. Small was relatively speaking. The Vulcan Starfleet headquarters was the fifth largest in the quadrant. However, the posting wasn’t particularly popular with anyone that wasn’t Vulcan.

After months planetside, Nyota was more than acclimated to the strains Vulcan took on her human frame. Every sandstorm and electric squall was worth what she had found with Sarek...what she had longed for with Spock.

Nyota blinked away the sting of guilty tears and hurried her steps towards her old apartment. The dinner had brought feelings best left undisturbed. Being reminded of what she once had and had mourned for months had been painful to say the least. 

“ At least I have someone at home.” she murmured aloud, digging through her purse. She should comm Sarek, telling him where she was and that she would be returning soon. 

Nyota was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t sense the presence coming up behind her. A hard arm came around her waist and dragged her backwards towards a nearby alley. 

Her martial training already had an elbow flying behind her to hit her assailant. The point was met with a palm and pushed back forcefully. She lifted her foot next and aimed for the toe of her male assailant’s shoe because surely the large arm around her had to be a male’s, but he sidestepped her. Nyota lifted her foot again, this time aiming for the crouch but before she could even kick she was shoved bodily up against the wall. 

Spots of light sparked in Nyota field of vision as her head knocked against the hard, textured surface of the building’s exterior. She shook her head clear, readying herself and went to launch back into her attack when a large, hot and very familiar hand came over her mouth. No!

She screamed against the palm and punched at the chest she had caressed so many times before. When she struck against his jaw, he took ahold of her wrists and braced them up above her head. 

Nyota blinked and sputtered his name. “ Spock…”

He stood there, looming above her. His face was crestfallen but his hands burned at her skin as she met his gaze. He exhaled raggedly as the stare lengthened. Indescribable lust and longing seared through her from his hands and temporarily stunned her silent. 

As her lips quivered Spock took the opportunity to place his mouth over hers. Nyota jerked and twisted, trying and failing to free herself from his kiss. He groaned and tilted his head to better align their faces. When he pried her lips apart Nyota bit at his tongue. He jerked reflexively but kept his mouth on hers.

His mind pooled into her filling the familiar lake-like indention that was once his. When he reached mentally to pull her into him, Nyota shrieked in protest. He physically reeled and tightened his grip on her.

_ Don’t scream. Please. I want to talk to you. _

Nyota frowned against his lips and the torrent of his emotions and mentally yelled back at him.  _ This isn’t talking Spock! You’re mind ra- _

Spock yanked his mouth away from her and hissed at her. “ No. Never. I could never do that to you.”

“ Well then let me go! This is wrong.” Nyota said. He hesitated, reluctant to physically release her. She narrowed her gaze looking from the opening of the alleyway back to him. 

“ Of course, it is wrong.” he said, agreeing with her. Nyota shook her head, appalled with him. What the hell? “ This wasn’t supposed to happen.” he continued. “ We were not meant- I-”

He shut his eyes and tilted his head away from her. Something glittered in the corner of his eye as he took a deep breath. Nyota huffed in disbelief. Was he crying now?

He drew one more breath and turned back to face her. “ I love you.”

She knew he would say it, felt it coming but the admission still shocked her. “ Spock. Don’t.” she said. Her voice was a hard, solid thing but she knew that he could feel her fragility. Why would he do this? Now that she was loved and cared for in a way she needed he was trying to sweep her off again? “ No, Spock.”

“ No, Nyota, I love you. I miss you. I...hate this so much. I hate being away from you. I miss you beside me, the touch of your mind against my own.” 

He stopped and cleared his throat and Nyota found her own throat knotted with emotions. Her heart was breaking all over again. “ Stop it, Spock.”

Spock shook his head and placed her hands onto his sides. “ I mourn you when you are still here. Am I not supposed to reclaim what we lost?”

Nyota jerked at her wrists and scowled. “ Stop being manipulative.” He still held her wrists firm in his grasp and didn’t seem like he would relinquish his hold anytime soon. Nyota curled her fingers into her palm and turned her face away from him. “ Why are you doing this?”

Spock pulled her closer and enveloped her into a smother hug. Nyota resisted with everything in her the draw to relax and give into what the embrace meant. It would have been so easy to do so. To let Spock pick her up and pin her to the wall and rut her for all she was worth. They had done far worse in much more inconvenient spaces. She could go back with Spock, to the Enterprise and not to Vulcan’s starfleet station and they could act like this whole thing never happened...but it did happen...and Nyota had no assurance that it wouldn’t happen again.

She slumped then and released a shaky breath into his chest. Spock took her sudden release of tension as acceptance. He was pulling her up his body to better settle them to his liking when he noticed her crying too. “ Nyota?”

“ I’m not in love with you anymore, Spock.” She pushed on his shoulder but he refused to let her go. He shook his head and held her by the back of the neck. His pointer finger deliberately grazed the silvery scar lining it, one of his first on her body when they became bonded. “ Do not lie. You love me. I can feel it.”

She nodded miserably but continued to twist in his grip. “ I do...love you but Spock, I’m not in love with you. I’m in love with Sarek. And I want to do all the things that I didn’t think were possible while on board the Enterprise with you.”

Fiery, hot anger pitched between them as Spock felt the first true lancing of Nyota’s rejection. “ What? Such as?”

Nyota pursed her lips, feeling put on the spot. She did not need to justice herself to him but neither were her dreams something to feel shame over. “ Like a family. I could be a mom here.”

Spock held so still at this Nyota actually began to worry. Then again who wouldn’t be shocked to hear their ex speaking about parenting a child with one of their parents?

When Spock finally moved he surprised her. He put her down on the ground, resetting her clothing and hair as best she could. When Nyota stepped to move away from him, Spock took her face between his hands. “ I could give you a baby. I know I can.”

Having a baby naturally had always been a sore point of contention. Spock feared either being sterile or Nyota having complications during her pregnancy. Nyota frowned at him as she puzzled over his words. 

Spock was a deliberate male, much like his father. He had said give her a baby which hadn’t been her point. She wanted a family. She could have a baby from anyone but she had wanted a family to bring it into. She and Spock were hardly a family at the moment and to be honest she hadn’t entertained having a child with him for over a year now. 

She had been too busy just trying to hold them together, to force him open, to share and heal and love that she hadn’t thought of anything as ajurous as a newborn to the mix. Being with Sarek had rekindled that spark of motherhood. Them learning together how to shape and love their family was a prospect that gave her honest to goodness joy.

But then there was the other sentence that Spock had said. She nervously licked her lips and ignored his eyes as he watched her mouth. “ What do you mean you know you can?”

For the first time since they had been talking he looked unsure of himself. Nyota felt his mind, a humming presence beneath his palms reside away from her. She narrowed her gaze and gave him an expression to go on. 

Spock cleared his throat and spoke very matter of fact. “ T’Pring is with child. From her time in Pon Farr.”

Nyota’s eyes glittered with tears. Even then peals of laughter bubbled up from her throat. “ From her time? Oh no, what you mean to say is from you! Pon Farr didn’t get her pregnant Spock you did. And I find it very telling that you would try and leave her now and escape with me because that’s what this is, you trying very hard to escape, and leave her with your kid!”

Spock’s face flickered back and forth between shock, disappointment and anger as she ranted. He shook his head after a moment and inclined his head towards her necklace. “ You would have what love remains between us die? You would sacrifice our bond?”

Nyota shrugged and sniffed. “ What bond Spock? Our bond is gone. Cut. Dead. You chose to save T’Pring and I chose to save myself because you leaving to lay with another woman was just so apropo of how you treated our relationship. It was convenient for you because I stayed and loved you no matter what but you broke my heart, Spock. So many times, in so many ways.”

Spock dropped his hands now looking defensive. “ I could not have her death on my hands.”

Nyota nodded and stepped away from him. “ And I couldn’t have the death of who am I and what I want on mine.”

Spock swallowed and let his arms fall to his side. “ What now then?” 

Nyota came and pulled him down. Spock allowed her arms around hima and sighed into the messy tangle which was her ponytail. She whispered into his ear and Spock hugged her tighter.

\--------

The melodic beeping and slide of the front entryway signalled her arrival.

Sarek looked up from his bedroom floor and aware of his surroundings for the first time in hours. He had placed a chair in the middle of the room facing away from the door. If it had been facing he would have been able to look away from. He would have sat there watching and waiting for her arrival that might never come.

The news that had come from T’Pring had been...foreboding. She was expecting. Spock had gone missing. His personal effects were gone though the rented flitter remained in the drive. She had contacted Starfleet who relayed a message from Enterprise. Commander Spock was not aboard but he expected to arrive at 1600 hrs tomorrow. They were still awaiting Lieutenant Commander Uhura confirmation.

It was the last bit that broke him. He disconnected abruptly and retired to his room. T’Pring would be rightfully cross with him but Sarek couldn’t help himself. 

Nyota. Had she left him? Whether from Spock’s persuasion or the Enterprise’s allure, didn’t matter. None of it mattered if she was leaving him. Would she come back to retrieve any of her property or would she think it best to avoid him?

Sarek fell heavily into the chair and shrank into a hunch. What a wretched male he was. He had been such a proud man. No verse of logic or lauded contract of peace would quell the what love he had...no, very much has for her...nothing could amount to what she means to him.

He bent himself into a tighter ball and groaned. A momentary flash of concern washed over him as his left side flared with an aching burn. His sickly heart? Perhaps but he ached all over. He wanted her so very badly. 

He grit his teeth and stacked his hands over his heart. Relief came to him in the morbid thought that he might actually be ill and perish before he learned that she had seen that he was not enough for her. Or worse, that Nyota saw his past as a telling sign of what the future held. An arrogant, heavy-handed husband, distant and cold even when he was beside. The haughty youngest son of the legendary matron T’Pau, great grandson of Skon, descent of Surak. A serious male without hope and no one to love him.

Footsteps in the dark brought him back to the room. Hallway lights raced into the room and cast a shadow of him and someone beyond him. He turned to look over his shoulder and held his breath.

Nyota stood silhouetted in the doorway. Sarek fought himself to stay still as he beckoned her closer. “ Please, come in.”

Nyota did so, shedding her sand coat and soft slippers. Spock’s scent immediately filled the air as she released her hair from its customary clasp. Sarek kept his hands fisted at his side. He did trust himself not to break the chair if he clamped down on the armrest. 

When she came closer he held a hand up for her to wait. “ I wish to warn you before you come closer.”

He felt her stiffen beside him without even looking in her direction. “ Of what?”

He worked his jaw and exhaled loudly through his nose. “ My self-control is...lacking. If I were to get a hold of you, I do not believe myself strong enough to let go.”

His quiet words hung heavy between. He bowed his head again and startled as she wrapped her arms carefully around his neck. She laid a cheek to the top of his head and inhaled. “ I love you.”

Sarek brought up his arms to reach for her. Jerky, choppy movements belied his condition as he placed his hands at her waist and drew her closer. He buried his face into her belly and nearly smothered himself in her blouse. “ You came back. Nyota…”

They stayed like that for a moment, reconnecting and reorienting themselves after the past few hours rendered them weary.

“ I was afraid.” he began, speaking against her navel. “ So afraid I had lost you.”

Something about his words most have touched her because Nyota crawled into his lap and embraced himself fully. For all his logic Sarek couldn’t hold back the groan of gratitude as he pulled her in closer. 

“ My word, Nyota…” he sighed, his voice cracking. He drew away and cradled her face before his own. “ I was so sick.”

Sarek kissed her lips, her cheeks. Nyota was actually here, he was actually kissing her as he pined to hours earlier. He mussed her hair as he turned her head to tend to the otherside, quietly smacking his lips against her skin. Nyota made no protest as he did. She kissed him back whenever he met her lips until he eventually lingered there. She pulled away and held his face between her own hands. “ I chose you and us.” she said, her face deathly serious. He nodded and her expression softened. “ I love you, Sarek.”

His thick brows crowded together as he tilted his head. “ Do you know I love you as well? Am I not too cold?” 

Nyota shook her head and sniffed. “ No. God, you love me so much. This whole time I could feel you yearning for me and being patient. You could had the means to force me to you but you didn’t. You let me choose you for myself. I...Spock tried to-”

“ - you do not need to speak of him.” he said. He kissed her again, once quickly and then another, slower smolder one. She was here. He never knew that with everything he had at his disposal he only wanted her there with him because she wished to be.“ I trust you to made the decision that would be best for you.”

“ Because you love me.” she agreed, nodding her head between his hands. She pulled his head towards hers until their noses bumped against each other. “ Spock trusted me to choose him because he wanted me back and he knew I had loved him.”

“Loved?” Sarek remarked. Nyota rubbed her forehead along his and shrugged. “ Loved. Love. I’ll always feel that for him but I am no longer in love with him. He...you, mean the world to me, Sarek. There’s no comparing what you make me feel to what I felt with him...you make my heart so happy Sarek.”

The next kiss turned to something more serious and Sarek moved them to the bed. He surprisingly kept her clothing intact but the scent of another male on her skin soon had him dogged to claim her. 

She weathered his mouthing and caressing well enough when she pushed him away. He back away in apprehension until she continued to push him down onto the bed. 

“ I choose you.” she repeated, rising above him. He smiled softly and let his eyes drift shut. Nyota’s nails bit into his chest as she mounted him with a breathy sigh of his name. His hands slid up her legs as she worked herself into ecstatic cries over his length. 

The Watcher illuminated the room as he rolled them over and murmured heartfelt filth into her ear. His chosen. His sweet, little fuckling. He was going to work her into a sweaty, sticky mess over of the course of hours. 

He would show her what she had chosen and see to it that she wouldn’t be leaving the bed anytime soon. And unless she begged otherwise she would only be allowed to leave this room once she was assuredly pregnant. It was only right and didn’t she want it. 

And as he settled in for the night next to his sleeping lover, Sarek thanked whoever he owed the honor to for the pleasure of knowing love once again after losing it so thoroughly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that everything is said and done, what are yall thinking and feeling? What were the most enjoyable moments? Crazy surprises? kicked-in-the-feels moments? Let me know with a comment below. LLAP Kerry Lamb


End file.
